christmas.. what do we do? get busy buying presents n gifts? i admit i'm another helpless person who's falling for all these frenzy.

was on the cab last saturday, heard over the radio abt ppl who hate christmas becuz it's a holiday for the rich. i was wondering if it's really true? sounds cynical, but there's some truth in what tt person said. this is harsh but this is how we are like as carnal ppl.

maybe there's no Christ in tt person to feel warmth n gladness other than receiving nicely wrapped presents. always wondered if yz could get together during christmas to cook n distribute food at shelter for the homeless. like those u see in tv dramas.

remember i onced visited an orphanage while carolling as a kid. my first time in an orphanage. can still rem the look of the kids. blank eyes and crying babies being held by other orphans barely older than them. but they lit up when we played with them. it was great!

so what's christmas? another holiday n festive season? another time to gather with family around the dinner table with stuffed turkey? maybe u shld look at ppl around u

serching for you - hillsongs
i can't believe the way
your love has got a hold of me
each morning i wake to find you near
you lift me above my fears
and set my feet on solid ground
all of my days belong to you

and i breathe in your breath of life that fills my heart
you are my all consuming fire

i stand here before you
in wide-opened wonder
amazed at the glory of you
the power of heaven
reavealing your purpose in me
as i'm reaching for you

argh! long hair is so hot n irritating! gonna snip it off soon. hmm wanna try those super cool short crops. but eh it totally failed last time when i was in sec n jc. hahha for those who saw me then, u know what i'm saying. probably trim it, but not gonna keep long hair lah. pls, i'm not tt girlie. heh heh..

ops! sorry, sound so shallow n bimbotic today. but yah had trg juz now n tt stupid hair's getting in the way even after i tied it up. hahah oh, i look like ur typical huang lian po when i hav long hair. hahhahaa.....

jingle jingle bells.. yesh! finally christmas! my favourite holiday of the year. gonna invite my jc friends to church. wonder if they can make it for the musicale. then again, i hope it isn't gonna be disappointing like the one i last invited joce n cheese during easter.

presents!! hmm what shld i give my friends? cant possibly bake again. hahah my baking sucks. so poor pkg had2 eat my hard cookies tt had too much coco powder last time. ops sorry babe!

the weather has been really really cold lately. my house is almost air-conditioned 24/7. which is actually great cuz it's really nice to sleep in. hahha maybe it explains why i am sleep so often lately.

anyway, was juz thinking of what i'll be like in 5yrs time. hahah one of my friends said they may consider getting married 5yrs frm now. oh man, it's actually scary cuz they're even thinking abt it now?! gosh! hahah but well it's more the guy thinking of it than the girl. she even complains tt it's too early. hahha poor chap. so what's the ideal age then? hmm i wonder. but at this mo, who cares!

have been going out with my mom n bros for the past couple of days. not bad lah, has been a while since we all went out (other than the forever boring jurong pt) hahah told my mom going out of jurong to town or whatever is like country mouse going to meet city mouse. hahha.. me n my dumb comparisons

hmm my bro's downloading this new game gunbound. some lan game. and my internet is still the antique 56kbps. so this is taking eons! but it's quite a cute game, kind of like worms but cuter n it involves humans. hahha no some tiny worm. i'll juz look at my bros play. doubt i can make it at these games. duh..

hai so sad. my doggie rai was adopted by an indian family yest. i wasn't even home to see him cuz i was out in town. apparently my bros cried. but anyway hope rai's in a gd family n tt his skin prob's treated fast. rai rai, hav fun with the other 3 dog-friends there. don't bully them or pounce on them like u always do. =)

too bad i dunno how to post rai's pic here.. oh well, as usual i dunno lots of things. hahha

hey wanna say a big big thankew to all u yz rookies! pkg, amy, joe, lixian, nat, suye, shiwei, vien n fion! man u guys really fed me with so much chocs.. haha but i enjoyed every bit of it! hmm as i'm typing this, i'm also savouring ah xian's chocs. man, it is sinful but gee it's heavenly! hahah okok maybe i might consider working out sometime soon. till then, i'm off for dinner with vien n the gang later (again) hahha! happy 19th birthday vien!

hmm interesting elective class today. we watched mad city, starring dustin hoffman and john travolta. not your regular light hearted and easy going movie. neither is it some action flick. but kinda cool show with lotsa stuff to look into and think about. guess the main and most obvious thing going on is how mass media like goes outta control n stuff. not bad, very gd acting by travolta too.

haha muz be wondering what the heck am i doing in school when i shld be like celebrating rite. geez, i'm sucha nice student. ahhaha aiyah actually i juz wanted to finish watching the show cuz it was shown yest during class lah. hahah caught u there did i? oh man, i'm gonna eat again tonite with my pals. die, ate yest, eating today n tmr again. such feasting is bad on my already growing belly. gross! but yah it's fun lah, hanging out with friends and all. love all u chummies! *muack*

qinlei, hav fun in cambodia! hahah guess i've got no choice but believe u are there lah. hahah so snag some rustic and mysterious cambodian n bring him back so that u can continue ur story in class tt u've got cambodian blood yah! hahahha...

also to pkg, thanks so much for being sucha dear friend. love ya lots! thanks for everything too! hav fun job hunting babe! *slimey muack* heh heh heh

oh to the 2 fellas out in some jungle in brunei, u guys look after urself hor! see u when u're back for christmas! thanks for the wishes too!

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step I take is another mistake to you
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)

I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired so much more aware
I’ve becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can’t you see that you’re smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired so much more aware
I’ve becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired so much more aware
I’ve becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be

my favourite song.. hmm here's another one frm linkin park

(when this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(so what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[repeat chorus]

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I’ll find myself today

[repeat chorus]

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

oh man, it's christmas n i'm gonna be santa's new rudolph the red nosed reindeer. stupid zit! haha this sounds bimbotic but yeah man, it's absolutely disgusting. future chemists listen up, come up with some formula tt can work wonders overnite n i'm sure it'll be a hit! i'll be ur first customer, no matter what the price..

weee!!! ruth and yam are coming back! man finally get to see em after a long long time. wonder how they are like now.. sometimes i wonder if i can take it looking after myself overseas and being totally independent. but someday i really wanna go abroad to live for an extended period. see the world n different ppl. stretch myself to the limits. hmm but at the mo, sad to say i'm still mommy n daddy's girl. haha.. i need my family n friends around me!

oh man i juz had a little game today with the contact ppl in ntu. wah biang, i'm so unfit n all. cldn't even run, much less play the game. hahah if my team saw me today, my head wld hav rolled. all the mistakes tt i shld never ever make- planted feet, too close, not making the game blah blah blah. haha wonder how am i gonna survive trg twice a wk. then again cuz i'm not aiming for ivp, hahah i can be the ultra slacker!

wensi, the make up for tmr's jog didn't really work. haha didn't burn much (in fact doubt i even burned any) and i juz ate it all back during dinner. hohoho... can't wait to see all of ya!!! oh my, really really miss all of u ah! can't find sucha gang in ntu okie.. u guys really rock my world!

phew! i finally got into my stupid blog. oh man, didn't realise how difficult it is to come post stuff. hmm then again i'm sucha techy idiot. luckily ruth was there to help me out ah! wah biang, hope i don't encounter anymore difficulty. or it'll be sucha hassle to write.

anyway was juz watching tv (tt sars prog) and it mentioned cookies dipped in coffee tastes great. hmm reminds me of the name of my site. well maybe someday i'll try it out. gee cookies... yum!

was juz watching tv mobile on my way home today and sth made me think abt God n His image. the prog asked kids what they thought God was like. one said God's a great footballer, a fantastic drummer... so it made me think. why does ppl hav2 make God look like a hard figure juz there for us to worship? He isn't a stoid figure in our lives too far and too high to reach. God can be juz anyone we imagine to be! He can be our best bud, our soccer watching buddy, our hao jie mei who shops with us.. practically juz anyone! what makes Him different frm us is essentially His purity and that He's our king and lord. who ever said tt a Master can't be cool? think abt it, who is God to you? how is heaven like in ur imagination?

my two buddies cum 'girlie' pals are off to brunei for ns today. hmm wonder how are they doing? msged em yest n apparently they're kinda worried. luckily girls are exempted frm ns. i'll juz cry in camp. i'm sucha softie.. hope they're safe n sound over there. haha of course not to miss their family n other halves too much. hahah esp gabe! u guys take care n see u during christmas!

hmm my first blog entry.. what on earth shld i be putting online? i mean, there needs to be some privacy rite? but haha heck with it. it's juz MY space now.. hahhaha..

let's see i'll only come when i've got inspiration (bling bling bling) haha if u guys know me, u'll realise i'm the blur cock with no inspirations. so mostly u'll expect crap abt my life here. *what am i blabbering abt??*

maybe u guys will see more serious stuff tt i really wanna talk abt some time later. but not now buddy. come next time yah.