Father & son moment - training to play soccer together in future..

Haha it's getting weirder and weirder. Everyone is moving about and staring at me as if I'm a weirdo today. Haha.. MIL has been walking around carrying Jon in an awkward angle, hoping to make him sleep. And I keep replaying in my mind whether to help her but I know she would say she's fine and arm doesn't hurt.

I shall continue to stake it out and see if my attempt leads to something. :)

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It feels strange that I'm standing in the living room alone with the TV on, hoping to create an environment for the family to spend time together in the living room to watch some TV. But grandparents are stoning in their room with Jon on their bed, maid in her room folding clothes (I think she wants to watch but don't dare too cos I'm the only one in the living room), and hubby's out working hard with a driving job. Haha! Silly as it seems, I shall try to stick it out in the living room to "gather" the family. Seems strange that everyone retreats into their own rooms after dinner and don't chat about their day's activities.

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Think I will miss Jon a lot when I return to work. I'm sitting here at EASE's room waiting for data to transfer and I'm scrolling pictures of Jon on my phone. Guess I will miss staring at him, especially when I'm less busy at work and my mind can wander.

Hee hee, shall make hubby pose with Jon for a nice photo so that I can set it as iPhone wallpaper and look at both of them when I'm at work. *grins*

Can't wait to enjoy this very long weekend with my lovely boys!!! *hugs and kisses*

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Not taking public transport for the past 4mths has caused me to forget how horrible our nation's public transport system is during peak hours..

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Our big TV addict. I hope it isn't a big problem when he goes school in future

Wonder why is my milk supply so erratic. Yesterday was dry as the desert and today I'm feeling full just 2hours after feeding Jon. Can't I just be feeling full most of the time? Haha better to be in a position with excess milk!

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Realized how atas some of my office people are when we chatted over lunch. My team leader (soon to become ex-team leader), said he thought of renting the inflatable slides for his youngest daughter's 2nd bday celebration on 18 May. So my incoming team leader said it was $300 based on her last check for her son's bday celebration. Wah! I don't even want to think about spending so much for my son's bday celebration. In my mind, a cosy dinner n cake within the immediate family (and maybe plus grandparents) would suffice. Don't need to invite friends or hold a big party.

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Hmm I can't seem to load a particular blogshop's page fully despite trying a couple of times. Maybe it's a sign.. :(

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Hmm thought of going for a jog this evening but I don't think I can stand the heat. I'm already perspiring buckets just sitting at home. Don't think I can go any longer without a shower. Argh, so warm and humid!!

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Jon can lift his head up high while placed on his belly!!

Dearie discovered that Jon could do this after he positioned Jon's arms properly so that he could support himself. The boy was so cute! He smiled when we praised him for lifting his head up. Such a cheerful boy doing his mini push ups. Haha!

Now is the time when babies start to show even more physical development very quickly by the weeks. They start to attempt to flip, grasp things or even swipe at them.

Too bad I'm also nearing the end of my maternity leave and it's back to work. And I'll miss out on witnessing all these 'firsts' at the very special moment. But no choice cos we need the income to raise a family. Besides, Jon is being cared for by family members as opposed to an outsider like a maid, so we can have peace of mind that he is in proper hands.

Yucks! So many flies and mosquitoes at the Orchard bus stop!! I've been bitten at many places during my short wait for the bus. Grrr...

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Taking the train after so long. And with all the frequent train faults, I'm hoping I'll get to my destination smoothly. Weather's already "finding fault" with my going out, so I hope the transport system doesn't make it worse..

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Sometimes we complain about the maid going to the bathroom every hour. Well, maybe she really has weak bowels. But more often than not, I suspect it's just to retreat into a personal space. Mom also mentioned Ate was like this in the beginning.

Personal space is limited where we are now because there are 3 adults walking about the house everyday. I often retreat into the room to give everyone their personal space, hoping that I am able to bring Jon in with me for a one-on-one playtime. But I guess the first grandchild is like a super power magnet that attracts everyone. So one-on-one playtime and personal space are really rare treats. Hence I can totally emphatize with the maid, who is in a worst off state because she can't always retreat into her room when she has nothing to do since her room is also the diaper room, and all eyes are on her as to what she is doing at home. The bathroom is the best personal retreat sanctuary ever.

Since personal space is a treasured commodity (haha or at least to me), I tend to back off during the day and let everyone have their time with our super power magnet even though I really want to play with him. When he cries, everyone rushes to his side and I, as a mommy, just have to stand aside and let the rest care for him since they will be his main caregiver when I return to work. It looks and feels weird that a mommy is just standing aside to watch. Machiam I'm an irresponsible mommy that relies on others to care for the baby. It's not that I don't know how to look after Jon or that I'm lazy, but it's a deliberate attempt to bridge him to getting used to the main caregivers.

I'm still telling my brain that this is ok and let it be, though every single hour I struggle with it. Thoughts such as "oh dear, I heard my MIL say she was tired after pushing Jon on the pram with me last nite. Jon is getting heavier and her arms are tired. Yet how do I help her without offending her? She will always want to carry Jon even when I offer to help ease her load. Her shoulders and arms have been stretched and we need her to rest for the longer 'marathon'. How can I just stand there and watch her carry Jon?" And I don't want to appear like I'm "fighting" for the grandchild or depriving them of time with the boy. So I just retreat back into the room and find something to occupy myself with.

Hmm, I can hear Jon having his bath at the background. How I miss the daily morning bathtimes where I can sing to him and watch him smile back...

Jon flipped today!! Didn't manage to take a picture cos I didn't expect him to flip. Heh.. I was just observing him, thinking he wouldn't be able to flip successfully. Then tada! Flip.. Okay, his hands were a little stuck after the flip so I had to help position him comfortably.

Was telling MIL not to worry when Jon turns on the bed with his head arched back cos that was what I saw when Jon tried to flip. Also mentioned that sometimes can just help him lie on his belly to practice lifting his head. So I demo what we do in our room at night, and to my amazement, Jon held his head up high fora long time! Wheee!! Again, too slow to take picture cos MIL worried Jon's head to heavy for him to lift for a long time. So I had to flip him back. Well, at least he demo that he can do it! :) time to let him lie on belly occasionally..

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How can a person so small perspire so much? It's like every feeding session is a great sweat workout.

Sometimes I can't wait for Jon to turn 1 so that we can bring him for a short getaway nearby, say Cameron Highlands, Malacca, Krabi, Bandung etc. Hee hee..

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Our son really has an amazing ability to perspire. It was just about 5mins into his feeding session and he perspired enough for me to "style" his hair into a slick back style..! End up having to turn the fan on again. Champion!

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Comic moment of the day - Our room was dim tonite cos I switched to night light as part of Jon's bed time routine. Maid came to pass me a piece of clothing and I had a shock looking at her. Besides her usual yellow 'camo' looking cream that she puts on her cheeks and forehead, her eye brows were suddenly very very black and long! It's as if I saw Ru Hua from Stephen Chow's movies. Hope my face didn't give away my shock. Not sure if all these are some cosmetic routine from her country or something she's doing in prep for her New Year celebration. Never seen such things before and it was a shock. Not that I'm racist but I've really not seen such things before.

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Feels weird to be hearing Jon cry at the background, finding it hard to sleep with MIL carrying instead of suckling to sleep. Yet I can't go help becos we are training Jon to get used to me not being around. MIL wanted to pump Jon with milk but I told her need to start building up EBM bank for 18 May, else there won't be any available then. Shouldn't always just pump milk to drug him to sleep but train him to sleep on his own. Also told MIL that I mat start going out once every week to condition Jon that I may not always be around.

That's my logical brain reminding me what needs to be done. The emotional me then feels guilty cos I'm just leaving a crying baby with MIL. Reminded MIL to let me know if her body cannot take it so that I can take over and let her body rest. Feels a little strange at the beginning that I'm conditioning my child not to be with me.

Meanwhile I guess it's about tolerating Jon's fussing and crying during this adjustment period.

Anyway Jon seems to have finally slept after fussing and crying. Thank goodness I insisted not giving him milk and going with my gut that it wasn't a "I want milk cry". Also mentioned briefly to MIL that Jon may keep crying this period and it's not a hungry cry. Hope that it was casual enough and didn't come across as a "lecture".

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Try something different - listen to happening music using ear phones while nursing Jon. Haha in that way, I can listen to stuff without disturbing Jon. Heh..

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This afternoon is a nightmare. Gave Jon 120ml to test how long he can last. But experiment completely failed cos he still needed to suckle to sleep. Only maid and me at home, so when I carried Jon, he would cry with his tongue at the roof of his mouth indicating he wanted to suckle. I think if it was someone else carrying him, he would have just slept. Anyway, so I ended up letting him suckle cos he refused all other means like pacifier, rocking, swinging on the bed.

He dozed off within 5mins of suckling. Then I unlatched him and saw that he didn't stir before I went on to express in the other room. Sigh. I haven't even hit 10ml and he cried. Had to hurriedly stop everything and go carry him.

Again he refused everything. So I thought maybe let him suckle again. But he kept unlatching himself. Hmm this seems to be how he is when he wanted to be burped a couple of nights back. Okay, so I carried him up to burp. With the diaper cloth still on the bed to act as a protector for our bed, I lifted him up to begin burping. And to my horror, our little rascal burped and pooped at the instant when I lifted him. The poop somehow leaked from his diaper onto all of my shorts and shirt, and also onto both the diaper cover and bits of our bed! Aaahhhhhh!!!!

Of course have to quickly clean everyone up and get maid to change bed sheets. So scramble and call for help to change bed sheets while I settle Jon and myself.

The other room was like a war zone. Milk expressing machine with the 2 bottles still on the table, I had to put a baby that is full of poop on his diaper table and scramble for new diapers and diaper cover. Then ran into my own room to get my clothes cos I couldn't change him if I was soo soiled. Okay, so change the adult and used baby wipe to clean away all the poop that seeped through my clothes onto my body. Thereafter clean the dirty baby backside. Threw my adult clothes on the floor and baby clothes in the baby laundry basket so that I had space to wipe the dirty backside. Ah ha, then our curious little Bacon came to smell all the dirty items, including the waste paper basket. I think I was a basket case, cos here I am cleaning dirty backside and shouting at Bacon to move away and not eat things in the waste paper basket. My hairband all lose and hair hanging in drips and drabs around my face. I looked and felt like a nut case.

Okay, so when everyone was clean, I had to help maid take our bed sheets cos it was in MIL's cupboard which she cannot anyhow open. Did that and went back to Jon, hoping to coax him back to sleep.

Again all failed and he was smiling at me, as if laughing at the adults scrambling after him. *faints* dunno to laugh or be angry with him. Cannot sleep right, so let me get back to my unfinished 'express' business. AGAIN, haven't really finish pumping and he's crying the whole roof down for someone to carry him and nurse him back to sleep. Aaahhh!

Don't care. Let him cry a bit more while I keep the bottle of milk in freezer. The house was really like a war zone with the background of 'baby-cry-type gunshots', and maid in toilet frantically trying to wash off poop on bed sheet, adult clothes and baby clothes..

As I'm blogging this, Jon is happily suckling himself to sleep while I'm catching my breath and trying to regain composure after the afternoon "battle".

Hmm I hope I have time for a quick toilet break. Don't dare to bathe until grandparents are back to help sooth the "cry warrior"..

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Haha this looks so girlie. But I'm quite bored while nursing him so I just did a random photo on the phone..

Aiyoh I've been nursing Jon using the lying down position since 1pm. While I think he did drink some milk, I'm not sure if it was enough cos I can hear his stomach growling. Yet our dear boy is so tired that he's sleeping despite a growling stomach. He didn't really go into deep sleep just now and was woken up by various noises such as the helicopter. Had to nurse him again to coax him to sleep at 3pm. Hopefully he is more well rested. Shall change his diapers and feed him again when he wakes up later.

Ahhh Bacon woke Jon up just when I put Jon on the bed to sleep.. Why must he bark at the maid when she's asking me about lunch arrangements. Alamak, no time to coax Jon back to sleep cos I'm having stomache. Just let Jon lie on the bed first..

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Heavenly Father, thank you for watching over Jonathan and blessing us wonderfully over these past 3 mths. Thank you that Jon is a strong and healthy baby. We continue to pray that You help him grow physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. May he be a godly person; one whom You would be pleased with and one who is after Your heart. Even though he is only 3 mth old today, Father I pray for his future family. We entrust all things unto Your hands. Grant him a godly wife that is exemplified in Proverbs 31, and mould him to be the godly husband and father that You want him to be. For Pete and myself, grant us Your wisdom to nurture Jon according to Your ways. Where we sin Lord, may we repent and teach us the right way. Help us to model ourselves after You so that we also set good examples for Jon (and our future kid). Father, we don't just look to You for the past 3 mths but depend on You everyday of our lives. Thank You for Your bountiful blessings even though we do not deserve them. Amen!

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Alamak.. I went to the loo with constipation and had to cut short 'my time' cos the boy was wailing for milk and refused to be consoled by his grandparents..

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Yikes, I have a sudden urge to poop but Jon is still nursing. Ahhhh.... I'm trying hard to "swallow" up the "cake" becos I can't stop Jon from drinking.. Besides, breaking the momentum now means taking a much longer time to coax him to have his post-bathtime nap. Tahan tahan!!

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Dunno to laugh or be angry with Jon. He cried cos couldn't sleep soundly at 2pm. So we thought of bathing him since we didn't do so this morning due to the rain. But Jon kept drifting back to sleep. So end up not bathing him and MIL carrying Jon to sleep. Though it's disruptive in a way cos we still haven't bathed the sweaty boy, he JS actually right on schedule for his weekday routine - I.e. take a second nap at around 2pm. Haha! Hmm so I should be happy that he switches back to his own routine right? Lol..

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