Yay it's Christmas again!! My favorite holiday of the year.. Wish that one day I can spend Christmas in US or Europe - have a taste of how Christmas is like in other countries.

Anyway that aside, I've been thinking about Christmas and what it means. I've been finding myself getting caught up in getting presents; whether for close ones or to 'return an obligation'. Am I missing the whole point when as Christians we are supposed to celebrate and focus on God's sacrifice of dwelling among us, sinners? How do we strike a balance between reflecting on the real meaning of Christmas and enjoying the joys of shopping and festive celebration?

My DG has two baptisms this Christmas and my office colleague also recently had hers. For each of them, I hope this is very special to em. Having gone through quite a bit to convince their parents about being a Christian, or just having the guts to proclaim their face despite the real challenges of facing the consequence of family rejection and disapproval, I admire them for their courage and fire. I only pray that this fire doesn't die out as they journey on this path with Jesus, to remember this fire they once had when facing difficult questions about their faith some day down the road.

Press on Joy, Ivy and Wansin!!

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Gosh I am over welcomed with sleepiness and tiredness..

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I've never been so tired for an extended period of time. Even audit during peak period (which was practically my entire 1yr there), wasn't so bad. The intensity during the day is just tremendous. It's killing all my appetite for proper meals and frying my brains into ashes. I know it's probably unprofessional to complain in a public domain like a blog, but I reckon only my dear reads and not my bosses so this is still a 'safe' space to 'unbottle' my frustrations.

Today was bad. Got scolded twice and just plain rushing n rushing. I've sighed heavily for countless times. My dearest colleague who is usually the most optimistic girl among the lot also almost cried when we were discussing work. She also almost cried in front of her own superior during staff appraisal. Sigh...

I tear but nowadays it just dries up in office. No more blood or tears to shed. Capacity running low..

Where is the light at the end of the tunnel... I feel like those Chilean miners stuck in a dark hole wondering when will we ever see the day.

Think it's better for everyone that I unbottle in the cyberspace so that ears are spared from all these sob stories.

I really hope that there is truth in 明天会更好..

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Pissed pissed pissed. Bugged by everyone in office for work which are all considered urgent at the same time, attending to calls consecutively, responding to tons of emails... Even got shoved around and stepped on while taking public transport. So tired and brain dead. ROAR! I hope this is the end of the worst day of my wk!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot take it anymore!!!

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Sigh, just lead a very difficult topic on righteousness at my DG and had someone sit in to observe. It was so tough trying to manage the grp, keeping it relevant and juggling with the extra pair of eyes from an observer. Tough tough. It felt like a wasted session becos ppl didn't seem engaged and the message was not put across. Argh.. Having YT around is much better to balance off the dynamics..

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What do you do when faced with a situation that you know someone and find that they are not doin their work properly? Keep mum and hope someone else notices ad thus be politically correct, or what? Hmm....

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Extraordinary ambidextrous drawing skills

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfV9UROo7Dk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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Japanese Precision

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owP3cHrp3b0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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Very very shiok to be on leave and not looking at my laptop for 10hrs straight. :) happiness.. I wish paid leave never ends. Yeah!!

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Hmm I used to think tattoo were cool. Maybe small and intricately done ones are nice but not huge ones. Thank God I didn't go one when I was young and rebellious. Haha never not listen to old people's advice. They are usually grounded on some form of truth or experience. Haha luckily I chickened out and didn't get myself tattoo..

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Think positive thoughts. Can't wait to see my pork chop. Lol

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I feel like a walking dartboard all over again. Reporting to several small bosses and being arrowed to do more work becos I'm the most junior person on board. Why why why.. Doesn't make a difference even when I'm promoted a little cos I'm still most junior compared to the small bosses. Sigh.

God grant me strength. I've told my immediate boss that I'm bait swamped and shared with him the extent of my non-core work that I've been assigned. While he said he will step in to help reassign if I cannot cope anymore, he also cautioned that it's too early now for him to talk to other bosses and pull me out of those work. What the heck. If I start doing those other work, my two legs would be deep in and all the bosses will then say hard to let me go cos there should be continuity. Alamak..

Anyway I just have to see how it goes. I will still tell them I need to get married and go on honeymoon. Just too bad they always forget that I've told them about my personal commitments and given them ample notification.

Tired tired. Why is every job like that...

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My parents possess the most amazing ability to drive me absolutely nuts and just shell shocked at what they can do to make me pant with frustration.

At every stage of the wedding preparation (and I really mean EVERY) they come up with ridiculous ideas about how things should be done, utter things to other people without first checking if that is what they should say or whether we've made the necessary preparations, nag that I've not done any planning (c'mon we've done A WHOLE LOT of planning way before they heard it. I just didn't wanna bore them with the details or go through the hassle of convincing them that things should be done a certain way which is most efficient) etc etc etc.

I know they are excited that, well, firstborn getting married and all. But c'mon, I'm getting married and I HAVE A BRAIN to think and work everything out. Pete and I have done soooo many other ppl's wedding that we know off the top of our minds how to do all these things. Go and see if any other couple is as chill out and well prepared as us. I bet you never find any others.

It's really freakingly irritating that they will pop up with the most ridiculous matters that makes me look at them and go "WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING".

Argh, I will deal with what I can and leave them to deal with those beyond me..

Spoil my otherwise happy nite when I just drove home and smiled stupidly when listening to our 2nd march-in song over the radio. Wanted to blog about happy stuff but this stupid thing just drove me nuts and changed the whole tone of this blog entry..

Can't imagine that we are going to be married before family and friends in 1month and 4days. So surreal and exciting.

Had a good break with pork chop yesterday cos it's his off day before YOG work notches up another gear. Nice day of just moving around JB together. =) haha like a mini holiday

I seriously can't wait for our honeymoon. Yay!!

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Distributing paper flyers is not environmental friendly. I wonder who reads them. I just take becos I think those uncles distributing them want to finish their job and return home soon.

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Decided to take the train from Boon Lay today instead of going back to Pioneer station so that I had a seat. Gosh the train was uber crowded! Ppl squeezed shoulder to shoulder. I even had trouble trying to grab my tissue paper from the bag when I sneezed.. *faints*

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise when I sneezed so much and continuously that everyone avoided me. Haha! So I had a "circle" of space when everyone tried to avoid sneezin woman. Hahahahaha! I discovered some new tactic to "buy" myself some personal breathing space on peak-hour train rides..

Signing off cos I'm heading into the underground train tunnels.. *ah choo!!!*

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I'm getting the pre wedding jitters. So much to do and I hope to start hiving out duties for our helpers. We cannot possibly see to every single detail anymore. I will just trust that all help will fall into place and we just focus on the day and saying our vows before God. So gun cheong until my heart pounds fast at the thought of all undone work. Our emcees and band don't even know what do to or play! Ahh!!

Some ppl can really talk and talk and talk. Was trying to get some much needed rest time on the train to work. But was unfortunate to be beside 2 ladies who continued endlessly about their school, registration for something and what not. Now I'm extremely tired and about to collapse into slumber anytime..

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I just can't resist myself from posting this up. Had so much fun trying to do a digital scrapbook for our wedding photo montage. Haha, my favourite one for tonite.

Gotta start scanning more of my pictures cos I didn't scan enough of my own. Haha, so I've been doing Dearie's one first.

Ahhhh why am I up awake and in office when the weather is so good! I feel so lethargic with these kinda rainy days. Makes me wanna head home and sleep. Yikes.. Sleepy sleepy. Have been dreaming every single night that I'm sooo tired when I wake up. Even sleeping earlier doesn't help. Sigh. I need beauty sleep. Totally hate waking up in the mornings..

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Quote of the day from FB - one of the worst feelings in the world is having to doubt something you once thought was unquestionable (or should be unquestionable).

So pissed. Persistent cough doesn't go away and keeps coming back when I get agitated. Terrible night. Tires but can't sleep. Sitting up against my bed and my bronchial asthma seems to be coming back. Crap. Angry. Wish I'm staying alone so that I don't have to feel so bad for coughing and disturbing everyone at home. Try to cough softly and stop but cannot. Time of the month coming also and I can feel myself snapping at myself. Sounds stupid but true. Since I should not snap at anyone else, I'm snapping at myself internally. Grrr...

Prayer written by Bishop Dr Robert Solomon:

Lord, draw me to yourself as I behold Your cross. May my ears be sensitive to Your voice amid the noises of this world. Let me be grateful for what You have done for me. Give me courage to do Your will. Amen

Tires tired tired. Ages since I exercised so much and did the (almost) complete set of gym routine I used to do with Nicole.

20mins of running at 8.9, 100 sit ups, 45 arm lifts (whatever you call that thing you pull from above your head to shoulder level), 45 leg presses, 45 leg lifts and another 45 thigh push (or whatever is that thing you stretch thigh muscles). Still short of the bicep press, lifts, ab lifts and plank exercises. Can no longer finish all of these within 1hr..

Legs were so tired that i froze in the showers and took ages to walk back to office. Bleah..

Shall aim finish the complete set within 1hr in future. 2 more mtgs to do it. Possible??

Happiness.. Enjoying the pockets of time at work where I can breathe, think slowly and have a more balanced life. Had thought that my work would be very bad at this time since I have to write a report, coordinate some things for Internal Audit's checks on the dept as well as handle the project work. Was kind of crazy a while back when all 3 pieces of work came crashing at the same time. Thank God that things have spread out and I don't have to work OT all the time. Thank God for granting me His strength to moe through each day and energy to work.

Tires tired tired.. Keep dreaming about random things at night and spoiling my sleep. So tempted to take half day and chill out. Reached a point of siandom with then thought of having to work. Think it's not about the nature of my work but just not wanting to work..

Feel like I'm back in my childhood days when I'm sick and my nose is completely blocked. It's stuck no matter how much I try to blow it out. Yet I can't sniff it back in. Aghhhh..

So now I'm just sounding very gross and un-ladylike becos I'm very nasal and having nose problems.

Wonder if I should sit up and sleep, or jus sleep with my mouth open so that I cab breathe but risk making my throat very dry by tomorrow morning. Hmm...

Anyway medication is kicking in and I'm feeling drowsy again..

Welcome home dreamland!

Tired tired and more tired frm looking at my work. Eagerly waiting for
the say to end. I can almost concuss at my workstation after this
morning's mentally exhausting, ad heated argument with the external
party. Shiong.. Still have two more of such sessions to go..

God grant me strength and perseverence this day..

Do bosses know how mch work we have on our plates and are they
reasonable enough to push away less important things? We are short on
headcount and yes effort has been made to hire. But the fact is that
we are still short handed in the interim. Why still ask for so much to
be done?! I've already said that I cannot turn around my work fast
enough.. :( I've even been blatant enough to ask them which piece of
work is more important and how fast thy want to turn around. Blah. All
so idealistic.

How to make bosses talk to one another since I've got multiple pieces
of work and reporting to more than 4 bosses during this period?!

It's not as if we are doing something which is SOP and we just need a
pair of hands to get the job done. More often than not we are talking
about dealing with situations we've not dealt with before, and so
require brainstorming. Argh. Brainstorming takes so much work and mind
juices!

This is probably a spur of the moment comment but I'll still say it. I
wished I was inconsiderate, selfish and not a team player. Just opt
for going on fed course and just extend for a holiday. Then I could
perhaps avoid all of these mental stress and not have more white hair.
But I also know of someone who wished she's not going so that she
doesn't have to uphold some gentlemen's agreement to stay on for
another 6months. Well done deal and there is no point complaining cos
I will still be around and deal with all of these in my stride.

As me and my sad colleague always say - suck it and just do! :(

First, have to squeeze with ppl who are sweaty and not smelling as
nice at the end of the day. Then cannot get up the train even though
it's supposed to be school holiday period. Aaaaahh, why is our public
transport system so over worked. Wonder if other major cities in the
world is the same. I might only appreciate what we have until I've
experinced worse..

Signed off by the woman who always has some gripe abt Singapore public
transport system. Lol

Hmm I'm surprisingly upbeat even after I leave work. Morning was a
huge struggle (yes I'm increasingly like Melissa. Completely not
morning person) and my energy level increases after that until abt mid
nite before my brain crashes down. Then I become a vegetable for an
hour before my energy level comes back up after 1am if I watch tv.
Haha.. Body clock so not suited for normal wrking hours. So strange
because I've been consciously sleeping at midnight. Haha..

Anyway I'm super excited that I'm leaving office earlier than usual
and without some mental baggage that I've gotta be early on office the
next day to clear more work. Things for now seem manageable and
actualy do-able.

*thinks hard*

On days such as this, I'm thankful that I'm working where I am. Shall
not say for sure that I feel like this everyday. But good enough for
now :)

Hmm sometimes people really do quite strange things.

I just saw a lady curling her hair with a curler, put on make up,
dress up in the gym toilet. Did all of these while standing on sky-
high heels in the ladies toilet which has clean floors. Wonder why she
bothers to make herself endure such stress from the heels, as her
whole dress up process was so long. I saw her when I first changed to
hit the gym, and she was still there after I finished working out,
bathed, packed my gym gear and left. C'mon, this woman even brought
her full hair curler set to the toilet! It was as if she as going to
the gym for some photoshoot of a girl on a date. So weird!

Thought it was mere coincidence to meet such a strange lady cos most
of the ladies I see at the gym are normal folks. Then came lady number
two. Let's call her GI Jane (she looks like a female version of GI
Joe). She went into the changing room and started whisperin to
herself. It was as if she was having a conversation while alone in the
changing room! Mad!

What's with people these days man! Too stressed up from a city
lifestyle.. IMH might just get busier with the passing of each
generation of city dwellers.

Tired, very very sleepy, blister on my toe, carrying heavy laptop and
jus plain grumpy.. Bah!

Went to Chen Li Presbyterian church this evening for a talk by an
Aussie youth pastor on re-thinking youth ministry of today.

Really very refreshing and a reminder that I still have the heart more
for the teenagers (even though I admit that there's some kind of
generation gap now) than the young adults. God has opened my eyes
during my period of service in YZ to see the immense potential of a
youth and what he/she can do for God. It's quite unlike a young adult
whose thoughts and ways have already been very fixated in a certain
way that it's hard for them to even change for God.

While teenagers could be thought to be brash and wilful, it's also
this very strong passion for things that make or break. Spur them onto
the right path with God and it is likely that these life principles
carry them through life.

Yes, there is the issue of how strongly do young adults cling onto
these life principles they learnt during their teens when they star
facing a whole slew of new decisions, circumstances and temptations. I
won't profess to be good at it as a young adult myself. In fact, we're
all on the same path of self discovery and lifelong learning and
experincing God. But what I know was that I can look back and say with
more confidence that it was no mistake serving Christ actively. Even
if it meant a lot of hard work juggling school work, CCA and church
ministry/ activities, I never forget how dearly I clung onto God for
everything in my life. To learn from Amy Chan about discipleship, to
learn from Pei Fern that crying for the lost is not a sign of personal
weakness, to learn from Zhiqiang and Dav the passion that drives them
to sacrifice much personal time to build relationships with us in the
journey of disciple making etc. The list goes on..

What I am saying is that we do not lose focus of why we serve and what
is our ministry is. To be Christ like, both in thought, word and deed..

Think I've had a bit too long a break from hectic and stressful work
days that it's hard to get back into the groove. Either my mind
panicks or it slips into a state of daze and inactivity.. I'm quite
screwed for this year's appraisal. Hmm then again it might be a gd
thing and I'll cruise through. :P

Met up with George and Chao Pak last night to look at the wedding
photos we took at Bali and also George's Singapore shots that he took
for us.. Wow, George really put in lotsa effort to look at the photos
and edit them. Truly his passion. But can see that it takes a toll
when he's also juggling with a full time job and being a young parent.

Hee hee phototaking (both taking of others and being taken) can b
quite fun. Of course, not professional or good model to know what to
do. But the fun is doing silly faces and laughing at yourself when u
see them. Taking of others is also to capture moments which strike u
when u are at some place. To snap the essence of the people, place and
atmosphere.. Nice.

Anyway, thank God for providing all the little things for the wedding.
Etc, church venue, friends and family who help us out, contacts for
good and cheap deals, wonderful photographers both in Singapore and
Bali..

Signing off frm my dad's cab while I make my way to church... :)

Whee! Iphone blogging works! Yes, I'm a tech-idiot. I just learnt it. Whatever.. Now I can blog on the move! LOL

Hmm my first attempt at posting direct to the blog frm moi iPhone!
Testing 1.. 2... 3.... Ready??

Today is yet another reminder that I shouldn't take things for granted.. All things fall into place not because of our fantastic or flawless planning, but all things are held together by Him. Just as He holds the heavens and earth together, He too holds all of us up.

The omnious clouds this morning dampened my heart because it was not ideal for pre wedding photos. Amazingly He answered my prayers and cleared the sky and clouds away! George and crew were great too! Great eye for nice shots and lovely company! We really thank God that He just let this opportunity for a shoot to happen..

Although Dearie met and accident (because someone collided into his car while he was stationary), I still thank God that he was safe. Very proud of my Dearie to be able to collect his emotions after dealing with all of it and rushing to church, and still be able to go on with the shoot. You rock Dear!!

It's our prayer that the insurance claim will go on smoothly. Pray for justice to be served by God and that the motorcyclist would be truthful in his report. Pray also for the pizza company to be reasonable and objective in fulfilling the bumper replacement costs.

I don't know what would lie ahead of us. Whether the insurance case would move on smoothly, whether this would be done amicably. But I know that all things are in His hands and I have to surrender it to Him. I trust that the Lord will see to that justice be served and the innocent would be rightly treated.

Not my will but Yours Lord.. Thank you for all that you've freely provided to us..

Sometimes you can be just so frustrated at your dad for not being a normal dad. Why must he always interfere with me life? I'm getting married and not him. Why must he invite so many ppl until I've gotta now manage n settle his lan tan zi?! Told my mom this morning that it is not an easy number that we can manage. But no one understands!! Now we've got a big problem becos of my dad's wonderful idea to invite the whole world when the church cannot even cope with it.. I feel like scruyying off and just get married in Bali or somewhere where it's jus us and no one else. I'm so frustrated at him that I just tear uncontrolably. Why must it turn out like that? Shouldn't everyone and or families be happy?

I'm gonna be very insistent for once in my life and make sure what we plan goes thru. Enough of them controlling my life, telling me what to learn, what to study, what to work as.. I think no other person would be as guai and not talk back.

I will make sure I don't cry when I start arguing with them. Old enough and they must just let go. (sometimes I wonder if they would've been more relaxed if I studies abroad or stayed in uni hostel through out the 3yrs)

Hmm hv been trying to find an iPhone app that allows blogging. Somehow wordpress and blogwriter lite doesn't support blogspot.com sites.. So here I am trying it out frm blogger.com directly instead.. Wish me luck..