chinese new year! hahah tho not exactly my favourite holiday, but well i do enjoy the goodies. hahah eat n eat, ma chiam like a pig. everyone in my family's sick so i'll probably be next in line. supposed to like control my mouth but eh it ain't working. anyway, happy new year to everyone!

had a terrible day on friday. training was horrid. i did everything tt could possibly go wrong. so yah kena some kinda scolding too. but could take it lah, altho i really wanna get outta the team now. sob.. it ain't like being screamed at by my team mates. at least we understand each other n yah still hav a great time together bonding. chock is really gd, at least she understands stuff. she's much faster than me. so go for it, chock! =)

juz caught mona lisa smile with rou n qinlei on tues. man it's a great show. not ur typical show with some dramatic storyline tt builds up to a climax. juz a nice show tt's mild all the way. great performance by roberts n the girls. haha but what i remembered most is tt nerdy chap who dated one of the girls. man, his glasses are soooo dated! hahah 3 of us were juz laughin at him! but yeah, thot it was a great show with like nice theme!!! oh the soundtrack sounds faaaantastic! so classic.. if u haven't watched it, u better do! hahah then again, i think it's more like a girly show to watch with ur girl pals instead of ur mates

had trg yest evening and boy am i unfit! was panting n panting after juz a little run.. hmm actually i didn't even wanted to go for selections. was persudaded by chock n yiwen lor. well not sure if it's sth to be happy or not, but chock n i made it to the 14, which will be reduced to the final 12 later. guess it's quite confirmed tt i'm going out when they choose the 12, and i'm kinda happy abt it! hahha cuz i don't think i'm driven like i was last time to really compete well.. but hey i'll definitely go watch n hahah 'spy' on my friendsin nus n smu. wensi, jieren, shaqi steph watch out! hahahhaa....

oh man, tmr's the start of a new sem... hmm wonder how it'll be like this sem. heard it's very tiring so eh wonder if i can make it lah.. but i'm already looking fwd to the june hols. hahah it's a long long holiday!

ok ok to all the poor souls out there who's studying, all the best for the new academic year!

went to hang out with ruth on wed. wah, it was great juz hanging out with her. laughing abt stupid things. took some funny photos (obviously i hav no idea how to put it on the blog) yah, so nice hanging out with her after so long man. you rock, ruth!

also went out with my crescent friends yest. wah, everyday after ge exam is like meeting ppl. yah, also had much laughter with them. but aiyoh roujun was late! man, it's juz her super bad habit. but yah we're all used to it now. also learnt how to play pool. but what the heck. i really really suck at it. broke the record of hitting the white ball n had it jump off the pool table. how bad can u get....

hols are ending soon! ahhhh...... man, my advice to everyone out there is NEVER to take electives during hols. it kills ur holidays. yah, unless u really cant clear ur electives. gee, tmr's ge exam and i'm still taking it easy. then again, i really cant be bothered abt it leh. juz cant kick myself to start muggin for it. gross..

man, my bros hav been busting the internet time so i haven't been putting anyth here for a long time. well today's the first day of sch for many. luckily ntu starts on the 12th. but anyway, i still hav ge to think abt. yucks, it's holidays n here i am trying to finish reading. juz the same old lazy me who hates reading, so i'm really procrastinating. gee, i hope i can manage to scrape a pass for ge. hahha sounds so horrible rite, taking exams during last wk of hols. loser...

anyway, grandpa's in sgh becuz of a swollen left leg. doc said it's bad but yet to take x-ray to see what is the actual cause. whatever it is, hope he's well soon. kinda scary cuz he's diabetic, so chances of serious infection is high. so pls pray along with my family for gramps.

christmas.. what do we do? get busy buying presents n gifts? i admit i'm another helpless person who's falling for all these frenzy.

was on the cab last saturday, heard over the radio abt ppl who hate christmas becuz it's a holiday for the rich. i was wondering if it's really true? sounds cynical, but there's some truth in what tt person said. this is harsh but this is how we are like as carnal ppl.

maybe there's no Christ in tt person to feel warmth n gladness other than receiving nicely wrapped presents. always wondered if yz could get together during christmas to cook n distribute food at shelter for the homeless. like those u see in tv dramas.

remember i onced visited an orphanage while carolling as a kid. my first time in an orphanage. can still rem the look of the kids. blank eyes and crying babies being held by other orphans barely older than them. but they lit up when we played with them. it was great!

so what's christmas? another holiday n festive season? another time to gather with family around the dinner table with stuffed turkey? maybe u shld look at ppl around u

serching for you - hillsongs
i can't believe the way
your love has got a hold of me
each morning i wake to find you near
you lift me above my fears
and set my feet on solid ground
all of my days belong to you

and i breathe in your breath of life that fills my heart
you are my all consuming fire

i stand here before you
in wide-opened wonder
amazed at the glory of you
the power of heaven
reavealing your purpose in me
as i'm reaching for you

argh! long hair is so hot n irritating! gonna snip it off soon. hmm wanna try those super cool short crops. but eh it totally failed last time when i was in sec n jc. hahha for those who saw me then, u know what i'm saying. probably trim it, but not gonna keep long hair lah. pls, i'm not tt girlie. heh heh..

ops! sorry, sound so shallow n bimbotic today. but yah had trg juz now n tt stupid hair's getting in the way even after i tied it up. hahah oh, i look like ur typical huang lian po when i hav long hair. hahhahaa.....

jingle jingle bells.. yesh! finally christmas! my favourite holiday of the year. gonna invite my jc friends to church. wonder if they can make it for the musicale. then again, i hope it isn't gonna be disappointing like the one i last invited joce n cheese during easter.

presents!! hmm what shld i give my friends? cant possibly bake again. hahah my baking sucks. so poor pkg had2 eat my hard cookies tt had too much coco powder last time. ops sorry babe!

the weather has been really really cold lately. my house is almost air-conditioned 24/7. which is actually great cuz it's really nice to sleep in. hahha maybe it explains why i am sleep so often lately.

anyway, was juz thinking of what i'll be like in 5yrs time. hahah one of my friends said they may consider getting married 5yrs frm now. oh man, it's actually scary cuz they're even thinking abt it now?! gosh! hahah but well it's more the guy thinking of it than the girl. she even complains tt it's too early. hahha poor chap. so what's the ideal age then? hmm i wonder. but at this mo, who cares!

have been going out with my mom n bros for the past couple of days. not bad lah, has been a while since we all went out (other than the forever boring jurong pt) hahah told my mom going out of jurong to town or whatever is like country mouse going to meet city mouse. hahha.. me n my dumb comparisons

hmm my bro's downloading this new game gunbound. some lan game. and my internet is still the antique 56kbps. so this is taking eons! but it's quite a cute game, kind of like worms but cuter n it involves humans. hahha no some tiny worm. i'll juz look at my bros play. doubt i can make it at these games. duh..

hai so sad. my doggie rai was adopted by an indian family yest. i wasn't even home to see him cuz i was out in town. apparently my bros cried. but anyway hope rai's in a gd family n tt his skin prob's treated fast. rai rai, hav fun with the other 3 dog-friends there. don't bully them or pounce on them like u always do. =)

too bad i dunno how to post rai's pic here.. oh well, as usual i dunno lots of things. hahha

hey wanna say a big big thankew to all u yz rookies! pkg, amy, joe, lixian, nat, suye, shiwei, vien n fion! man u guys really fed me with so much chocs.. haha but i enjoyed every bit of it! hmm as i'm typing this, i'm also savouring ah xian's chocs. man, it is sinful but gee it's heavenly! hahah okok maybe i might consider working out sometime soon. till then, i'm off for dinner with vien n the gang later (again) hahha! happy 19th birthday vien!

hmm interesting elective class today. we watched mad city, starring dustin hoffman and john travolta. not your regular light hearted and easy going movie. neither is it some action flick. but kinda cool show with lotsa stuff to look into and think about. guess the main and most obvious thing going on is how mass media like goes outta control n stuff. not bad, very gd acting by travolta too.

haha muz be wondering what the heck am i doing in school when i shld be like celebrating rite. geez, i'm sucha nice student. ahhaha aiyah actually i juz wanted to finish watching the show cuz it was shown yest during class lah. hahah caught u there did i? oh man, i'm gonna eat again tonite with my pals. die, ate yest, eating today n tmr again. such feasting is bad on my already growing belly. gross! but yah it's fun lah, hanging out with friends and all. love all u chummies! *muack*

qinlei, hav fun in cambodia! hahah guess i've got no choice but believe u are there lah. hahah so snag some rustic and mysterious cambodian n bring him back so that u can continue ur story in class tt u've got cambodian blood yah! hahahha...

also to pkg, thanks so much for being sucha dear friend. love ya lots! thanks for everything too! hav fun job hunting babe! *slimey muack* heh heh heh

oh to the 2 fellas out in some jungle in brunei, u guys look after urself hor! see u when u're back for christmas! thanks for the wishes too!

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step I take is another mistake to you
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)

I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired so much more aware
I’ve becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can’t you see that you’re smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired so much more aware
I’ve becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired so much more aware
I’ve becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be

my favourite song.. hmm here's another one frm linkin park

(when this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(so what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[repeat chorus]

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I’ll find myself today

[repeat chorus]

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

oh man, it's christmas n i'm gonna be santa's new rudolph the red nosed reindeer. stupid zit! haha this sounds bimbotic but yeah man, it's absolutely disgusting. future chemists listen up, come up with some formula tt can work wonders overnite n i'm sure it'll be a hit! i'll be ur first customer, no matter what the price..

weee!!! ruth and yam are coming back! man finally get to see em after a long long time. wonder how they are like now.. sometimes i wonder if i can take it looking after myself overseas and being totally independent. but someday i really wanna go abroad to live for an extended period. see the world n different ppl. stretch myself to the limits. hmm but at the mo, sad to say i'm still mommy n daddy's girl. haha.. i need my family n friends around me!