Young people have such great capacities to be active vessels for God in everywhere they are. While I've moved on from serving in YZ, it still cheers my heart to see the youths encouraging and spuring one another in Christ. Looking back, I never once regretted spending the 6yrs taking my group of girls. It was a long time of my life, but I've learnt much from them. Even now as the previously-younger ones have stepped up to serve in various areas, it's a reminder that whatever time we spend with young ppl is not wasted. We are placed in a very critical age of their lives that we can influence them in the way of the Lord.

Yesterday's sermon was about parenting. Though it was more for parents, the message was nevertheless relevant for all leaders. One thing he shared - if you don't influence your child, someone else will. And it made me think of the work of a youth leader. Indeed, it's the sharing of our lives that we may be able to influence the life of a young soul. To influence them in the right direction also means we've got to be in tune with God's heart and mind.

During the sermon, I saw a young boy whom I recalled to be a terror at Sunday School. He and his brother would run around the church, making a din and not being cooperative with Sunday Sch teachers. Yet in the inside of this skin of a little terror was a boy who knew how to love and demonstrate love. He was seated beside his mom in the sanctuary and the air-con was blowing strongly at his mom. And without his mom saying that she was cold, he took the jacket and tucked it over his mom's shoulders. Adjusting it constantly to make sure it was covered his mom properly. Using his scrawny small arms to wrap around his mom's shoulders, trying to give her some warmth. It was really a heart warming sight.

And today, as I watch the video of the recent Youth Camp, it shows of many glowing faces eager to seek God. It's not easy to be a godly young person in our current environment. Yet there are countless young ppl who dedicate their lives to be with God - even if it means being 'weird' in today's context. So I really salute those people who have dedicated their time and lives to mentoring God's new generation of believers. Likewise for those who have lead me all along in church. Praise God.

what's up with internet banking... despite where i come from, i quite hate it actually. it's both dangerous and troublesome. so many tokens, passwords and user IDs to remember if you've got many banking relationships. with the limited memory capacities of a normal human being, we end up jotting down these details somewhere or use the same set for every bank; both of which are very dangerous and not the ideal case your bank's IT personnel would advise.

extremely troublesome things that come along with technology.

spent a whole nite trying to figure out how to log into my hsbc account, and i realised i forgot my username. i'm probably locked out by the system after repeated failed attempts to test which userID i used. anyway they're gonna call me tmr to set it up again. thank goodness i don't have enough reward points to claim anything decent.

took time again to read joel's blog and his fb postings. can tell it's hard to deal with the loss of your wife and having to look after the 2 kids and juggling both work and home responsibilities. everytime that i read his blog, i can't help but hv my eyes wet a bit. looking at the 2 kids, it's so hard to imagine how to explain that amy will not come back to them. they know that she's in heaven, but i suppose no 2 or 4 yr old would really appreciate what heaven really means.

since amy will not be able to attend our wedding ceremony, i hope that her presence joins us with the kids being our page boy and flower girl. of course plus joe as well. hmm finding the right time to seek joe's permission to let the kids join in, yet i'm so afraid that it'll just make it more painful for him. will pray and see how it goes.

amy, you have really left a legacy. everyone misses you. though we could not meet up very regularly since you got married and when you were a strong warrior facing cancer, you have not left any of us. and i thank God that you were my bible study leader.

Liverpool - Singapore match - 26 July 2009 Hee, my first soccer match live. It's a bit strange that there were no live commentaries, like how it is on ESPN or StarSports.. Feels kinda weird. Well not bad, quite nice. As good as watching rugby. Heh.

Just received the news a while back that Amy has been called home... Even though we've kind of expected it to come, it's nevertheless shocking to hear of when it has really happened. Guess Joel is not taking it very well. Moreover, he's been there for her ever since they met in JC/Uni times. Your first love and the person whom you've set up a family with. No matter how sick she may be, it still hurts when she's gone.

I'm surprised that I've not cried immediately when Jian Hong msged. Think I kind of stared at my mobile for a while waiting for the news to sink in. Was supposed to do some work tonite, but I think there's more to life and prayers to be said than just to dig deep into work.

What should I say or do when we see Joe and the family tomorrow? I'm not sure. My mind's kinda in a mess but it cannot be worse than Joe's.

Take care Joe. Don't ever ever lose sight of what Amy has gone through with you, the family you have, and more importantly, the God who's understanding is far greater than yours.

Amy, thanks for being there to influence and guide my younger years. Pkg, Vien and my lives have been touched and enriched by your service and enduring love all these years. And I pray that you'll find the peace and joy which might have eluded you during this journey.

It's been exactly a week since I was msging Joe to catch up on the situation at home and Amy's health.. How things change over a matter of 1 week. Things seemed to hv worsened and the family's preparing for the worst.

Yup I've had my fair share of 2nd round of crying and I think be a wreck when it really happens. But the tears that we shed will never be the same as Joe's. My heart really goes out to Joe and the kids. When things in life seemed to hv falled right in place nicely. 2 lovely kids, warm family and a new place called home after waiting for 3years.. Then sucha bomb comes.

I've recently been starting to wonder what if it happens to me. A nagging thought behind me whispers that I've got all the wrong genes in the family and someday I'll end up either like grandpa or grandma. Ok I secretly hope it's grandpa's case of heart attack cos it was immediate. Well, it's a really morbid thought, but I think we all go through such moments in life when we space out.

Anyway, here I am sitting at my laptop supposed to do work but my heart tells me what's the purpose of this. Yet another part of me says that we need to put to practice what we've learnt frm Life @ Work - to do the best of our abilities as a worship to glorify God. Hmm, I shall just ponder for the next few moments deciding whether I shld start working on my report or just spend time chatting or just being around at home with the family..

Hv been whining and complaining more than usual lately about work. Things are piling up and everyone is stretched. So much to monitor, report, inspect etc.. But at times when I can step back and evaluate whether it is really that crappy work, I look back at the past when it was audit. The most horrendous time of my life. If not for the gd team that I've been, I'd probably not hv gone back after internship, or even lasted more than 6mths.

The kind of emotional stress of not meeting family and friends, just seeing your client and colleagues, struggling to stay chirpy even tho it's 11pm each nite was terrible. Working when you're hving jet lag and fever, and still balancing the stupid trial balance. Gross..

So here comes my internship senior asking whether I wanna join a new set up in financial advisory. I'm kinda scared out of my pants to go back there. Even advisory services isn't all that great. Yup the hours and overtime claims are better than mainstream audit, but you can't guarantee that you don't get seconded to other depts and clear crappy work. Boo..

Doubt I'll dare go back there. Besides, they're doing pay freeze and claming down on overtime claims. If I go back, probably get worse compensation package and a worse lifestyle. Eee... No no.. I'll endure whatever the current place give me and not go back to audit. Senior and Supervisor life there is worse worse than an Assistant.

No thanks, senior!

God's ways are higher than ours and sometimes it's hard to comprehend why He allows certain things to happen. When the world crumbles and looks so bleak before us, we wonder if there's light at the end of the tunnel. The good thing is that in His family, even if the light at the end seems so far away and unreachable, we still have family and friends holding candles to light up the place around us. To walk alongside us towards the end of the tunnel.

Whenever I think of Amy, I just feel like crying.. Met up with Xian and Serene, and we understood how things were when Xian and the band had a webcam session with Joe, Amy and the kids. Amy has shrunken a lot since the last we met her at her place. She's now left with skin and bones; her stomach cannot take any food and she keeps throwing up. Smsed Joe and heard that she's no longer mobile and very frail. She's only taking morphine and medication right now. The long marathon has also taken a toil on Joe and the rest of the family. On top of his daytime job, Joe's waking up several times a night to look after Amy and help with the injections. He's both physically tired and emotionally drained. Can even see it from his FB statuses.

Hv been msging Joe tonite becos I dn dare msg Amy (she's apparently very tired and sleeping 18hours on average). Can sense his weariness, and I don't really know what to say but just offer help when they need. Guess it's also hard for him because everyone in the family's too tired to handle any visitors, and the kids might not be familiar with the rest of us. But I'm sure at anytime he calls for help, the whole gang will come rallying around them.

Heard from Xian that the docs gave her 6mths when Amy was last operated on in Feb/March. Well, I just sat at my seat during lunch and stared at my soup. Kind of stunned for words or emotions right then.

It'll be wonderful if Amy can make it for John and Michelle's wedding.. I'm not even thinking of hoping that she'll come for ours, but at least she knows abt the gd news. We'll just wait upon the Lord and earnestly pray for His grace and mercy to be upon her..

Sometimes I wish we can read people's minds. It's so hard to guess what people are thinking. They may look ok on the outside but it's hard to tell if the currents under the surface are churning terribly. Really wish I had Jean Grey's powers..

Kia ora!

Just came back frm NZ the day before, and we all feel sick becos of the drastic weather change. But other than being a little under the weather, THE TRIP WAS SMASHING!! Awesome scenery, nice Kiwis we met, fantastic weather (we were sooo blessed to hv good weather for almost everyday where we planned our extreme sports), wonderful travelling buddies (we had 2 amazing cooks who came up with sumptuous food from simple items purchased frm the supermkts), and of course my Dearie!

Everything was soo good that I wish the 2wks there would last forever.. =D

Well, I'll be posting photos on my usual travel blog (cldn't do it during the trip becos we didn't manage to get free internet access) when we manage to consolidate our many many many photos. Hahah, I'm soo gonna relive the memories by looking at the pictures and videos we took.

Cherios!

Feeding my Jason Mraz craze right now
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Boo hoo hoo.. I waited for my bro to finish Dota-ing the whole night so that I could log onto ICA website to apply for the passport, only to realise that both scanners at home didn't seem to start up. And I've gotta wait another day to get my mom scan the photo for me. Sigh..

Super tired lately. Never sleep well or sleep enough. Probably also makes me cranky. I just space out almost all the time. Running on auto-pilot mode, so I've been also saying things which I never really process in my head well. Hmmm...

Gonna concuss soon.. Another long day tmr, even though it's Fri..

Let me sleep without dreams or nightmares!!

My careless words has caused much hurt again. Bleah. Think I'm really not careful in my choice of words and how certain things should not be taken in the public domain. Irritated and angry at myself for being so wilful then do once again do things without going through my brain.

Sorry Dear.. Forgive me?

Was randomly surfing Youtube when I decided to check out Corrine May's videos.. Must say she really blows ppl away with that voice. I doubt anyone can sound so nice acoustic. Although this video was meant as a Christmas hymn, somehow I feel so moved listening to it. Guess it's also the setting; a nice little coffee joint, singing for a close bunch of ppl instead of a large concert hall, there's a person in wheelchair being ministered by this hymn. Almost perfect - haha only that I wasn't there to listen to her live. I'd probably have teared.

Here you go:

In the bleak midwinter

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,

Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;

Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;

Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.

In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed

The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, Whom cherubim, worship night and day,

Breastful of milk, and a mangerful of hay;

Enough for Him, Whom angels fall before,

The ox and ass and camel which adore.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,

Cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;

But His mother only, in her maiden bliss,

Worshipped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give Him, poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;

If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;

Yet what I can I give Him: give my heart.

Anyway onto more serious stuff. The wkend break was wonderful. To take half-days on both Thurs and Fri is absolutely wondeful!

Of course the highlight was spending time with Dearie at Sentosa. Strolling along the beach, wondering around Sentosa, snoozing by the sea. Heavenly! Wished the day didn't end and we could just slack around Sentosa. Or even better, somewhere in Bali! Get stuck there and never get back into city life. Hahah.. It was lovely!!

Oh gawd, I just caught the 5min explanation for the ending to Little Nyonya. It's ridiculous. Only local TV would go to such extent to explain their drama serials. It's all abt pleasing the audience. So crappy...

Grr, Dora Dora the Explorer just said her cousin gave her the $145 Jason Marz tickets for her bday. I wanna rob her now!!! Hahahah... Dora, you better be careful this Saturday. LOL

We all go through different phases in our lives. With each phase comes a different life lesson. Some phases are easy to go through, some are less so. But I suppose at each phase, there's something to remember; both the good and bad.

A close friend recently told me how she was thankful for the people who stood by her during her down time. It was a rough patch, but I'm glad she survived it and became more independent and stronger. Nevermind if she asked me a couple of times if I'd do the same as her, cos everyone's different and would've made different decisions. Glad to hear that she's really ok and can even look back at that time with knowing that it was a good life lesson, even saying she'll support her daughter if she had to go through the same.

Hmm, I wonder if everyone can survive the same as this friend. I'm not sure if I would have. But I know that people need those close friends and family for support when things turn grey. Don't wish I'd have to go through the same. Nonetheless, it's comforting to know that people you've known for years would definitely stand by you. Cheers to long time friends..

Thanks to EVERYONE who celebrated and sent their wishes over the past couple of days! Am truly blessed by God to have friends and loved ones like all of you. Really appreciate everyone's well wishes and blessings over all these years.

Of course the fact that I stand before you in this world is because of God's mercy. All glory be to God. Looking back, God has indeed been very gracious towards me. Life has been rather smooth sailing all these while; any so called set back was small as compared to what Job might have experienced. He has been there to provide me with a way out for all things and surrounded me with loved ones who have always protected me from all harm and showered me with much love.

Thanks Dear for being my ahmad on my birthday, picking me up and sending me home all the time. It's the simple things and the very thought that I treasure most. The most precious things are the purest and everlasting ones. Thank you!!

As I sit back and look at the world and people around me, God has once again proven to be ever present. We may not see Him physically as Adam and Eve have, but His spirit and presence is ever around us. He comes as the Holy Spirit, in the form of love extended from people all around us. Such is the manifestation of Christ.

While I'm still far from the being that Christ might want me to be, I hope to be able to praise the Father and the Son all though my life whatever things might be.
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PRAISE THE FATHER, PRAISE THE SON

O sov'reign God, O matchless King

The saints adore, the angels sing

And fall before the throne on grace

To You belongs the highest praise

These sufferings, this passing tide

Under Your wings I will abide,

And every enemy shall flee;

You are my hope and victory.

Praise the Father, Praise the Son.

Praise the Spirit, Three in One.

Clothed in power and in grace

The Name above all other names

To the valley, for my soul;

Thy great descent has made me whole!

Your word my heart has welcomed home;

Now peace like water ever flows.

Yours is the kingdom,

Yours is the power.

Yours is the glory forever.

Somehow our local public transport has not, even after years of efforts, reached world standards. And this is for both our train and bus services.

Trains are not sufficiently frequent to cope with peak hour demands, resulting in overly crowded carriages where people are squashed like sardines. Sometimes I even wonder if MRT staff would one day start pushing passengers into carriages before the door closes on them - just like how we see it from videos of Japan and China's train services. Imagine not being able to get up the trains, enduring this both on your way to work and back home. Sucks big time.

Buses are equally bad. Frequency of bus services somehow do not match up to demand. I was totally irritated when I had to wait 30mins for bus185 tonite. I had waited sooo long that I was on the verge of calling SBS to ask if 185 was still in service (I did actually call Chris to check if he knew it was operational).

Ack, my entire journey home just from Clementi to Jurong took one and a half hour. Puke blood!