Experiment #1 failed - only had less than 5mins of sleep. Jon woke himself up again.

Experiment #2 - Mommy nurse Jon. It's usually a sure fire way but mommy cannot unlatch Jon..

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Tried a different pacifier to see if it helps him sleep. Experiment #1 - Tollyjoy stage 1 pacifier.

Keeping my fingers crossed..

Alamak, Jon seems to like to nurse to sleep. He doesn't sleep using other means. I'm trying to 'wean' him a bit so that he can sleep on his own so that MIL won't have problems looking after him when I return to work. So it's like cold turkey and don't let him nurse to sleep. Here I am feeling guilty in the room while MIL is walking around the house with Jon in her arms, trying to make him sleep. Dilemma as to whether to help her or just condition Jon to get used to me not being around all the time. What should I do.. Alamak, he keeps crying..

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Had a girls night out yesterday to celebrate Pkg's birthday. As always, nice catching up with the girls :)

But was so sad when I came home to find Jon crying so terribly and unable to sleep. He didn't sleep well in the daytime and things didn't seem to improve in the night. Everyone tried all means to soothe him and I kept feeding him thinking he is hungry. Poor boy still kept crying until he was tired and knocked out at 2am. :(

Heart pain to see him wail while we look on helplessly after exhausting all means to soothe him. Was also trying to keep the noise out so that Pork Chop could sleep. Then I also got upset at myself towards 1am or so cos he kept feeding, sleeping at my chest, spit up and cry for me to nurse him. And we would repeat this cycle many times. Very terrible night.

I hope Jon would feel better today. Am nursing him now and he's falling asleep on my chest again. Sigh.. In a dilemma when to bathe him when he's less cranky...

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Just when I said Jon is finally asleep, Bacon has to bark non-stop until Jon screams awake. Sigh. Why can't Bacon stop barking after I tell him to stop??

Thinking about Bacon and Jon.. I'm having serious second thoughts about bringing Bacon over to our new place because it is likely a time when Jon is learning how to crawl and walk. Hence Jon will often be on the floor, or have his hands touch the floor. It'll be problematic because Bacon's fur and saliva will be all over the floor as well.

It wouldn't be as big a headache if Bacon can be locked up for long periods in his own space like Mudpie, because we can then "segregate" Bacon and Jon so that Jon can crawl/walk around and practice his motor skills at home. I'm not very keen to 'lock' Jon up in his own room so that he can crawl/walk because he needs to be accustomed to and learn his boundaries in the house (e.g. cannot touch certain things, run into kitchen without watching out for any hot soup).

Sigh.. Not sure if it's also feasible to leave Bacon at the current place while we move to the new house.

All these thoughts about Bacon is not because I don't like him, but it's a real concern. Besides, there has been cases of babies having pet fur in their mouths at that age because they tend to either put things into their mouths or put their own hands into their mouths; inevitably swallowing some pet fur which subsequently cause health problems.

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Wow, I finally managed to log into blogger using the website and not post via iPhone. Haha had some free time to change the blogskin cos l'ill Jon's asleep.

Funny how I can't seem to coax Jon to sleep but my MIL can. The only way I can coax him to sleep is to let him suckle his way to lalaland. Hmm, probably it is how Jon associates me with suckling to sleep or feeding.

Our lives linked to one another for life

I'm sitting at a corner of my bed peeking at Jonathan toss around in his bed. Don't wanna go near as he will cry for attention once he sees me. I'm perfectly fine with him just making small noises in his cot. Only pick him up later when he gets more angry and change his diapers at the same time. :)

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Our little darling is so cute when he sleeps. Fat cheeks too!

Million dollar question: why is it difficult for babies to sleep on their own?

I've been coaxing Jon for the past 3hours with all methods I know. Let him suckle, rock and sing to him, give him a pacifier, drain his energy by letting him "talk" to me. Nothing works. He would sleep on my chest after suckling and wake up from his nightmare almost immediately after putting him in the cot. I've also tahan and let him suckle for past 2 plus hours until I'm hurting now. Acks. Give up and let MIL carry him after I went to kitchen trying to wash the pacifier while holding a crying baby. Hopefully Jon doesn't 'smell' me since it's MIL carrying him and he would sleep soon. Jon's tired but can't seem to fall into deep sleep. I hope things would improve soon cos it's already past midnight; way past normal bedtime for babies. God help us :)

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Record amount of milk I've pumped in less than 10mins: a total of 70ml! Woohoo! Thank God for answered prayers!! :) :) :)

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Feel so shitty as a mother. Baby keep crying and we can't seem to soothe him. And I feel like it's always my fault that baby is crying hysterically. How much milk is enough? I don't know. Why baby refuses to drink and thereafter cry for milk like I deprived him of a feed? I also don't know. I just sustain myself by praying everyday that hopefully today will be better and that I can have things under control and not have baby cry and frighten everyone, especially the old folks. I wonder if I will regret to say this but I do at times wish that baby is at a age that can talk and express his needs. Then I know how to soothe and help him develop. Anyhow I just feel damn shitty about myself and I think blogging is the seemingly only way of letting it out. I don't dare cry to let it out so that everyone around me need not worry or get irritated with me. Back to my office life slogan when it gets tough - suck it up..

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Compare my tiny little feet against mommy's palm!

Ahh I can't stop playing with Jonathan's feet! They are so small n cute!! :D

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I'm so biased but our son is so cute, especially when he's sound asleep!! :D

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Dear Lord, pls help Jonathan to sleep soundly everyday and not to be awoken in shock or cry in the middle of his sleep. Grant him good rest so that he can grow healthily and be a happy baby. This we pray daily in Jesus' name, Amen.

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So frustrating! Why does he keep crying for comfort? I've tried all e 'soft methods' so using the 'hard method' now and ignore his crying lest he uses that to demand his way in future. So I closed the door not to disturb my in-laws but well they heard the cries. They came to the room and I didn't open the door else it spoils the intention of training Jonathan that he cannot demand things with his cries. I think my in-laws thought I was I'll-treating the grandson. Opened the door after 10mins to sterilize the pacifier and explain that we cannot always respond to each cry or carry him immediately becos this is not sustainable in the long run, especially if I'm back at work and the 'human pacifier' is not around. Well, the 'hard method' finally worked and Jonathan is wide awake but lying on his bed quietly. I'm just waiting for him to slp..

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So proud of my Pork Chop for being a wonderful coach to me when I'm having the blues, and also for being an amazing Dad to our little one. From swaddling, cradling, bathing to feeding little Jon, Pork Chop can do it all :) so thankful that my hubby is way better than most others.

The past week has been full of surprises. From adjusting to new responsibilities as a parent, to breastfeeding woes, sleepless nights, to the joys of witnessing how amazing God's creation is (I.e. our son Jonathan).

Even though he can drive us nuts with his endless cries and screams, these can be forgotten as easily as when his mouth twitches into a smile or when he shows us his 'milk-drugged look' after a feed.

I guess it is a matter of getting into the groove and continuous learning of Jon's needs/wants, cries for help vs cries for attention before we will find even more satisfaction and meaning to our sleep depravation. I shall remember what Michelle said - when the baby eventually smiles back at you, everything is worth it.

God grant us much love, patience and faith in our parenthood! :)

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Jonathan, are u coming out soon? I've been going to e loo twice - with a 2.5hr gap in between. Is this a certain pattern that is a sign of your arrival? Jialat.. I can't tell becos my tummy doesn't really hurt THAT bad.. Can't be my fish soup lunch that is making me visit the toilet ever so often rite... :|

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While we have quite serious problems with our nation'a public transport system, it doesn't mean people should take out their anger at innocent bus drivers.

Two days in a row that I've seen bus drivers being scolded (or some might say verbally abused). Yesterday, a driver turned off the air con for a while becos a passenger said the temperature was too cold and the bus driver could only turn it off as he couldn't adjust the temp. Thereafter another passenger came and scolded the driver for suffocating him by not turning the air con on. Poor driver tried to explain but the passenger just didn't listen and got upset. Today, another poor driver had to get people to move in a crowded bus else the automatic sensors at the door would detect a human and not let him close the door. Ignorant passengers didn't listen to him and just stood where the sensor was, and the doors couldn't close for a while.

Sometimes I really think we, as passengers, ought to be reasonable and fair. Certain things are beyond the poor person's control, so don't vent your frustrations on him/her just because he/she is wearing a uniform bearing the company logo which you dislike.

I think people are really not considerate and ungracious these days. If not for the fact that I'm heavily pregnant and likely to fall in the bus, I would have given up my seat to either of the two old persons that have been standing near me. Others around me are just blind - Singapore's one of the nations with high myopia, but I think we should classify them as blind (or socially blind). How can you not see these two elderly folks standing for so long?! Even if you are glued to your smart phones or gadgets, surely you can see them from the corner of your eyes!!

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