can't wait for the hols to come. it's so boring juz looking at my bks or watching tv. hmm.. actually i've got no idea what to expect during the papers. oh whatever.. it's so boring juz to talk abt exams all the time. it sucks..

watched some travelogue show on tv recently. some backpacking program which follows ppl who check into youth hostels around europe. boy it looked so cool! they went to spain one epi and next to salzburg. oh man, i really wanna go too! always thot i can take this kinda stuff. but i realised if i ever go, it has to be a mixed grp. guys n girls on the road. it's safer n more fun. juz time out having a hell of a time. something i didn't really fancy was the kinda parties they had with the hostelites. all dirty n yeah, u get what i mean. hav been thinking of gg abroad (probably aussie) with pkg. but i'm sure bth our parents won't allow it. hmm maybe i can start saving n ask ard. rope in some ppl to go along. xian, shiwei, suye, vain.. when it comes to europe, u bet i'm gonna ask elliot cuz he'll probably know his way ard. oh there's suye also! she wants to go london. hahah hmm maybe i can even visit yam at nottingham.

boy, all these is juz a dream. too far as of now. but i really hope i can get to do it someday. all before it's too late. juz tour with my friends and hit the road. we can't really travel in a car across states during holidays like u can if u were in aust/ us. the furthest u can go is probably m'sia. and i'm not really keen on tt. hmm... nvm, juz get my pop to agree first. this is my first and biggest biggest hurdle. pop, time to let ur girl go n explore things outside of the safety zone. i know where my limits are. chill..

there's something really wrong with me. i'm always online or doing other unimportant stuff. supposed to be studying or muggin for my papers, but here i am blogging again. what the heck am i doing with my life? argh.. juz no motivation or drive. this is the downslide fer me

anyway, juz had my last mktg presentation. muz say i was a total wreck. unprepared. blabbered thruout my part of the presentation. not confident of what i said. juz absolutely different frm how it was like b4. well highlight of the day was the photo-taking. haha silly ryan said, muz bring digicam cuz she dressed very girlishly today. hahaha.. so cute. yeah, so there we were snapping all the way. quite funny. there's some grp dynamics among the 5 of us. hahah quite funny cuz we're always doing stuff other grps don't do. like crapping, having breakfast, even laughin over lame jokes (thanks to ryan n yiwen) then the 2 guys find solace in each other admist this bunch of wacky girls. poor chaps. hahha but i think they enjoy each other. hohohoho...

so i'm loading the pics onto shutterfly now. hmm might juz add commentaries in it some other day. not tonite. juz too many pics to go. shld i wait for it to finish loading? or shld i get back to my books? hmm.... u can guess which is my choice then

wanted to get my little bit of satisfaction with a choc ice-cream cone. the one yiwen n myself like. but argh, the silly mac girl gave me the wafer cone?!!!! argh! she still asked me what cone i wanted and i told her i want the biscuit one. u muz be thinkin why on earth am i complaining as long as i get the choc ice cream rite? tell u what, i hate the wafer thing. it's so soft n uncrunchy. like food for old people with no teeth. yuck....

watching the new jap drama now. there goes my water boys. last episode last wk. drats, exams are round the corner and i'm already half in the coffin. at the rate i'm gg, i'm juz jumping head on into deep shit. kinda given up on this sem. don't know why i'm doing this to myself but yeah, there goes my white flag hanging above my head. dido's "white flag" is my theme song now.

anyway back to the jap show. hmm not bad looking guys but definitely not as gd as kimura n the beach boy chap (whatever his name is) maybe i shld catch oc, the new ch5 show. looks cool and shallow for a brain dead me on thurs nites..

maybe i shld work at a production house or tv station to watch more tv. hahhaha

hmm yesterday was a musical ride for me. was listening to radio and wah, all my favourite songs were aired! cool.. still haven't got the time to watch linkin park vcd. gosh..

Love Song For A Savior
In open fields of wild flowers,
she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
to show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You"

"my heart beats for You"

getting a little lyrical these days..

it sucks when ur circle of singletoon friends are shrinking. and recently it has shrunk with two mbrs less. argh.. so obsessed with dating tt u can't meet em up. what's ur problemo? no life outside of tt small partnership of two? yiwen, yeah i think what u said is true abt the turkeys. hahha.. hmm, still think my rugby pals rock more.

get a life outside of your little fantasies with ur soul mates..

BREATHE EASY ~ BLUE
Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine

Why did I lie?
What did I walk away to find
Ooohhh... why... oooh... why...

Chorus
I...can´t breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
No I...can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

Curse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
Curse me inside

I won't forget, no i won't baby,
I don't know why (don't know why)
I left the one I was looking to find

Ooh... why... ooooh, why... whyyy...

Why

Chorus x 1

No I...can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I want you back in my life

That's all I'm breathing for

Ooooooohhhhh... tell me why

Oh won't you tell me why

I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

No, no, no

Chorus x 1

There's no air

writen by lee ryan. nice tune and voice frm the cutsie little face. gd lookin fellow in the band with the best voice besides duncan.
hmm was watching kate's dvd this morning. hmm call me another victim of boyband but hey i think i quite enjoy it. hmm better not let elliot hear me say this. i thot the dvd was not bad, not smashing but ok lah. ok i'll watch his linkin park dvd next and give another appraisal then. but i think linkin park's live in texas is gonna be sky rocket. we'll see

listening to jason maraz over internet radio. hmm.. simple and catchy. easy to follow tune but doubt he can stay for long lah. juz for me to chill before the start of another hectic wk ahead.

looking for jazz mp3s for my youth grp stuff n stupid kazaa juz doesn't lemme load em! dammit! oh man, how to fill a whole cd of soundtracks?? luck to me for loading em now.

gonna be driving again today. hmm getting more fun cuz she finally praised me for being able to control clutch! hahha yeah! but then again hor, i do stupid things like stopping in yellow boxes tt immediately fail me. haha i'm so dumb.. nvm, try again today!

yes! finally our mktg presentation's over. gosh, it was so embarassing to really make a fool of ourselves during the presentation. but yeah, i guess tt's why our whole grp enjoys the project! cool! ahahha oh man, we all looked like a real grp yest. all wore grey n black. hahaha, too bad we didnt' hav our digi cams with us. darn..
anyway was watching american idol. boy can jasmine trias sing.. not as excellent as her prev performance last wk. it totally blew me off. imagine tt's some 17yr old girl singing with such powerful stuff. very pretty girl too. so cute. hahaha.. sound like some lesbian. but yeah, no guys to look at in american idol so heck the guys! camille is cool too! too bad, everytime i start watching, it's always after she sings. dammit..
ok i'm some reality show freak. so it's gonna be terrible not to watch everyth on tv now. and there're loads of better shows on.
hahha listening to black eye peas on net radio now. oh man, this is my mktg project commercial starting song! hahaha quite funny lah, too think we even thot of making a commercial when our's is a mktg project. hmm...

this is it. officially no life, juz work. no idea why i'm super lethargic nowadays. unlike last time when i still can be awake and hyper at 12midnite. now i juz concuss when it strikes 12. machiam like cinderella's pumpkin and little horsemen.
i hate accounts. so difficult. keep trying to read, but the moment i see the trial bal i juz blank out. no idea where to start frm n what to do. shucks. i think i'm gonna flung or do badly this sem. what the heck..

pissed, irritated, frustrated, sick of work, impatient. this is what i am now. so much to do n i've only got so little time. argh! how i wish i can survive with as little sleep as possible. but knowing i'm sucha pig, it is highly highly impossible. i'll juz drop dead once my adrenaline sinks.
and it stinks cuz altho i've got broadband, it's taking so super long to dl some file from my friend! i wanted to get away frm my comp after continuous typing of my report but now i'm stuck here waiting for it to finish. what the hell is fast speed supposed to mean? i've been sitting here for so long and it's only a miserable 17%! wah lau, i don't even know if i shld juz leave this on and get away first.
argh, so many things to do. wish i can split myself up into two to do everyth. and my little horrible, useless brain isn't helping when i try to read my acct notes. gross..
i'm gonna be grouchy for the next few days until i'm done with all these work n watch movie with my parents. oh not forgetting fish n co. i so wanna eat it now.
shucks, frustration makes me eat more n more. what a bad habit..

hmm marketing project's getting more exciting. quite a bit of work when it comes to discussing n writing the report. but yah i think it's great! hahha being very thick skinned but yah i think quite fun doing it. nice mix of ppl in the grp too. wonder what will my lazy tutor seow kok boon say but yah.. at least we did our part already.
shucks, hav been more enthu abt my mktg than acct test. see how i die a horrible death on thurs.. oh who cares, we're gonna eat fish n co tt day! hahhaha.... makan again. tt's my life now: building a big kingdom around my tummy. hahha..

hmm the wkend's here and i'm not the least excited. terrible premonition abt the wk to come. anyway my only excitement now is listening to yy's alanis morisette cd. super cool. all written by herself. not like some factory-produced band stuff. this is solid. under rug swept sounds a bit sad. it's as tho she's jaded abt like, kena ditched and getting back at him. ahahha quite funny. but yeah this is what music n songs shld be- what you really feel like saying; not what ppl wanna hear.

-drown in music-

holiday.. i need a break. dreaming of paradise like the carribean islands, maldives, mauritius, bali. even redang, nearer to singapore, is ok for me. juz chill out by the beach and soak in the sun. was sunny today, to the extent of being super humid n hot, but i was doing project sch. no swimming and no running. anyway i'm not a water person so no swimming's quite ok for me. cheryl stone's "soak up the sun" in my head now. maybe i'll visit my own little sunny island when i concuss.

plane leaving for paradise island..

horrible wk. fm essay, marketing project and accounting test. what a combi. fm essay's killing me cuz i've got no idea what to write. and i juz dug my own grave by helping my grp mate choose some super dry topic. hai.. how so darn guilty tt i actually said it was easy. oh drats.. marketing's still manageable lah. hahah hope i don't start talking very fast again n mumble jumble during presentation.

argh, juz get over next week and i'll be watching movie wtih my parents! haha gospel of john. no exciting movie. didn't really wanna watch it, but my friend made me get a tix frm church. and my parents got a tix for me too: to watch with the family. hmm, stuck with extra tix now. see how lah, maybe someone in church wanna watch it. oh boy, really wanna watch so many other movies.. i'm still thinking of whether i shld smuggle me n my friend to watch monster. haha ellie's favourite charlize theron. another addition to his list.. hahha

argh so sian. so bored at home, so i'm rotting in fal. boring place with boring ppl like me. yuck.
anyway juz changed the blog template, but still looking for a really nice one. hmm not really my style, juz thot the pic was nice. waiting for inspiration. heh heh

sermon was funny today. pastor cheng huat was really crackin strange jokes. it even tickled pastor graham! boy, u seldom see him laugh the way he did today. anyway was talking abt how we are like agents for christ in this world. juz as satan sends his spies into the world to gather his army, it's the same as what it's like in infernal affairs. sending a worm to be undercover in the police force- tt's judas who was amongst the 12 disciples and eventually betrayed jesus. then the 12 disciples, and disciples of christ in general, is like agents for God- sent to the world to influence and infiltrate. jeesh, great comparison rite. anyway back to what pastor cheng huat said, jesus knew tt judas and peter would deny him and judas would eventually betray his master, yet it was how things were supposed to be. when peter drew his sword to cut off malchus' right ear, jesus didn't deliberately stop it (not to say he's evil n likes to see ears droppin off) but it was so tt jesus could perform a miracle b4 the hordes of ppl out to catch him, but healing malchus' ear with his touch. amazing rite?

our minds are juz so finite, we can't comprehend everything tt's written in the bible. no matter how hard we study it, read commentaries, attend seminars. even bible scholars can't explain every single thing. and i'm not troubled by it. that's the way our marvellous God works- if He wasn't greater than us, then He isn't our Master. the day when i get to heaven, i'll hav loads of questions to ask Him, and i'll hav an eternity to ask and be awed all over again.

lauguages are sucha wonderful thing. was on the train n i saw this trio of french ppl. boy, they way they speak. soooo cool! it's so natural. of course rite, they're french. anyway there was this chinese guy, looks like one of the actors in this french show yamakasi. fantastic show tt's really funny. definitely beats tt boring french taxi i watched with the rugby girls. hahah we all slept soon after tt. sudden urge to learn french. hahha maybe not as elective cuz gotta take exams but maybe juz listen n pick up? hahha fat hope, how to learn juz like tt?

we'll see, maybe i'll get to know a french and haahhaha pick it up there.

lost in translation: one of the many many movies i wanted to catch but hmm i lost it. hahah no lah, my friends postponed it again?! this is the 2nd time lor. argh... and i thot my list of movies i want to watch would be shorter today. haiyah!
hmm shld i ask those jurong ppl to watch with me? let's see lah. then again i'll probably go home after class, which ends sooo late!

exams not too far frm now and i'm still in my slacking mode. spent so much time idling and creating excuses for myself to slack. qinlei, haha i can really compete with you for the slackers club president! =) oh well, lemme slack for a while more. will study when i've got the inspiration.

afternoon classes sucks, i wanna sleep n sleep. don't go to sch. and juz chill at home with my cds playing n playing..

stuck in some computer lab in skool in sucha dreaded wet day. this explains how i feel on the first day of skool after the recess week. drats...

anyway haven't don't much work over the hols, but i've been thinkin abt lotsa stuff. met up with a couple of friends and yeah listened to her complain abt work, abt having her just-over-quarter life crisis. man, she hasn't even started a family and it's getting to her.

got me thinking, what's the purpose of our existence here? our purpose in life? to achieve material needs and build a name or legacy for ourselves? some say no, we live life to the fullest. what the heck, what's tt supposed to mean? agree with me or not, we are mere pawns in this world. subject to the kind of drone and grind of our system. lofty ambitions, boy, u've gotta really reconsider. yeah everyone wants to achieve something different with their lives, but hey we can't run away frm the standards set by the world. call me cynical, but tt's who i am.

my once big dreams of being so many things, hav juz been a memory behind my mind. professional tennis player, interior designer, child doctor, neurosurgeon, even my latest: setting up my own little shop for people to chill out, complete with live band jaming. maybe my practical self convinced my dreamy side tt all these are juz aims, difficult or even unpractical in this world. the least joy i get is tt i once dared to tell people confidently what my dreams were, regardless of whether i took action.

on a lighter note, my mom told me my calves were fat. hahah unproportionate was the word she used. *argh,mom how can u say tt abt ur daughter?* i can't believe she told me this, but hey at least she was honest abt it. fear not, i still love my mom LOTS. cheers mom!

trista n ryan's wedding- man, it was so expensive. but hey cool, the set was so nice. better remove all the pink! too much is too awful! yeah the place was really nice. oh the flower girls n the little page boy were the stars man.. so cute! hmm trista didn't look good, but who cares since ppl wld be looking at the better looking groom! hahha wensi, i bet u were also drooling last nite rite. hahhaa..

gd gd this yr, the wedding craze has stopped. not so many friends getting married. hahha... there's one lah, juz my neighbour. hmm i don't look forward to attending it cuz the bride is not friendly. everytime i see her around, she gives me some forced smile. argh.. gd lah, juz one wedding to attend before the cycle starts again next yr- cx3 n pei fen! hai, i'll go broke juz attending weddings..

oh man.. i'm a total moroon. qinlei told me how to change the tag board colour thing n hahha i tried. but somehow i can't see all previous messages! argh! sorry gals, the msgs are gone.. drats..

anyway to qinlei's msg: hahha yeah don't be shocked when i use tt word. i juz control my tongue when i'm pissed, juz in case i spurt it out. haha u get what i mean

anyway back to my crisis- how am i gonna get this done rite? hhhaa....