check out christina aguilera's "beatutiful" mtv. kinda gross when u watch it, all amoral stuff. kinda sad cuz it really shows what the world is like. all fucked up and messy. but tt's the truth. we live in a complicated world. it won't get better but this is what we've gotta know. it's during such times when man feels small n lost tt religion comes to deliver n liberate. thank God tt i'm certain of where i stand in this.

felt tt the video really matched the song. very well done in the sense tt it drove the meaning behind the song. right smack-in-ya-face kinda msg but it's strong. within tt few short minutes, many issues were covered. strongly encourage u to chk it out, provided u're mature enuff not to be screwed up n affected after watching it.

met up with my pals n yeah caught up a bit. as usual, wensi made this comment "mag, u really shld've stayed at smu. it's the right environment for u" sometimes when she makes this comment, i really wonder abt my decision to withdraw frm the early admission. wld i be better off at smu? no one knows. probably it was God's divine plan for me to be in ntu. but i don't really know abt it now. juz living each day as it comes. no aim, nothing really exciting to look forward too.

turning 20 this yr. what's to be 5yrs down the road? 10 yrs? 20 yrs? it's a scary thought. gonna be sucked into the working world ekking out a living. juz like ah ye, she said no pt worrying abt attachments. u're gonna be working the rest of ur life. what's 2 or 3mths of internship? starting thinking abt ur life. what do u wanna achieve? earn big bucks? enjoy life as it comes? john once asked me this, what do u wanna be remembered for when u die? what do u want to hav carved on ur tombstone? what kinda tribute will ppl pay to you? are u sure u juz wanna be remembered as a person who achieved a lot in ur career? i'd rather not. don't care what ppl say, as long as i've lived a life with ppl i love ard me, it doesn't matter if i'm not a high achiever.

gross. i'm having a bad hairday today. juz cut my hair n here i am sitting in free access lab waiting for my grpmates to finalize my mktg presentation. argh! like hum chim pang. so round. drats, so ugly n villager-like.

i need a cap to cover up!

yest was the finals. i guess u cld juz read chock's blog to get the gist of what happened. muz say i didn't play my best. my defense sucked totally. and got a breakthru but didn't hav the speed to finish it off. i stopped to look for my wingers and ended up getting touched. even wensi n steph asked why i slowed down so much. shit, i cld hav nailed it in 7-8 instead of 6-8 as it is now. but yah nus deserved it totally. gelled better as a team. sth i thot we lacked is team bonding. after the game, everyone juz split up and sat ard separately. not like a team at all. quite bad actually. but yah i take joy in knowing the ppl, and becoming closer to chock n yiwen.

tmr's another round of games. i'm juz looking fwd to meeting n playing with my babes and having a hell of a time. gosh, it's been so long since i've seriously played and met up with the girls. you girls really make my day all the time! i juz smile when i see u all. so far, i still can't really find a big grp of ppl like all of u. miss u ah! *muack*

was reading ah lian's blog. hahah u one rocker! i like ur attitude and entries. cool! hahha nice page, but yah really small words lor. my eyes will spoil juz reading ur blog. heh heh

hahha was watching trista n ryan's wedding. okok i know it's so bimbotic of me to watch it. but yah, at least wensi's watching it with me. yeah, my buddy and partner in supporting ryan! hahaa.. so weird to think tt this is shown on tv. wedding leh.. oh who cares, it's entertainment for us. ok i shldn't gush abt ryan cuz wensi's the only one who agrees with me. not even my best friend in church. she likes charlie (if u're a bachelorette/ bachelor fan, u'll know who i'm talkin abt) haha great, i absolutely know what kinda person she likes. hahha pkg, i'll look out for them in ntu for u! hahha but then hor, i doubt u can even find any close to tt. cuz hahah, erm all very very cheena!!! hahhaa okok, i better shuddup n stop insulting ntu

cool.. i juz downloaded the linkin park mtv for somewhere i belong. wah super clear on my comp. not bad huh? ahhaha finally can use broadband to dl sth. too bad i dunno how to include song or video files here. can't share with all of u. but hey this is one damn cool band! too bad they aren't performing locally. hahah then again, i can't find anyone to go with me. haha prob ellie. oh yes, i'm still waiting for his live linkin park vcd!!!

check this out: www.linkinpark.com (the coolest website after jamiroquai n jars of clay sites)

hmm maybe qinlei can teach me how to add video or song tracks. haha all 3 albums kinda fit my blog image. hahhaa.. feeling rocker today

oh if u wanna see some linkin park lookalike. go to church of our saviour. there's this ang moh in the band, plays guitar n synth i think. haha got the same pattern as the vocalist who wears those arty farty black plastic specs. geeky looking type. hahhaa.. but yah not bad. the band is gd. worship's gd too!

i'm so proud of chock! man she scored a fabulous try yest! boy u shld hav seen it. was the best move of the day man.. wah i felt so happy for her tt i was juz stunned for a moment. cool! the adrenaline rush for scoring..
hmm looks like everyone in the team has scored at least once. and i haven't even breaked thru. nvm, i'll hav my little goal of juz breaking thru then giving for someone to finish off. hahah wensi, jieren n steph, u guys muz lemme break thru u all. fulfill my small small wish! heh heh..
chock, well done! (my index fingers up like we always immitate coach)

watched last samurai with my friends last nite. wah, i didn't expect tt i wld like sucha movie. very gd in terms of acting n storyline (altho tom cruise shld hav died in the end but yah they juz wanna preserve the main charac) the samurai leader (whatever his name is) is so zai! he looks juz like the rock (wonder if it's still zhimin's type) very cool n fierce lookin.
i guess i liked the show cuz despite all the machoness of war n stuff, they also showed the fragile n human side of cruise n the jap chap. their conversations were so personal altho they were enemies. cool! the jap chap also acted in their village comedy stuff- very cute cuz it's a diff side of this lord portrayed to his ppl.
oh not forgetting taka, the female lead. she really looks like gong li. but so much prettier. very oriental look but classic. she acted well too. the sorrowful look n controled tearing. oh her eldest son is soooo cute! hahaha tt little boy was my other favourite.

the samurai order - HONOUR

wah i juz rushed thru my mktg article analysis presentation. didn't know what i was blabbering abt in my notes for the presentation. juz try to smoke. but man, i'm very brain dead. acct tutorial was enuff to kill me. took some precious 3hrs juz to do 3qns. cld hav watched tv man! but yah, i'm really slow...
gimme a break!!! so many presentations coming up... argh....

learnt alot frm bible study n sermon over the wkend. everything juz spoke to me n taught me one big lesson: love the unlovable

colossians 3:12-13
therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do

not easy to do, but reminder that we have to strive to it. takes lotsa effort n humility to love one tt's unlovable.

sermon also taught on how our hearts shld be. the sun that hardens clay, melts butter. clay n butter are elements exposed to the sun. but each react in a vastly different manner. do i want to be the clay or the butter?

competition and envy are destructive. yields man against man, brother against brother. our pride gets swollen when we see others better than ourselves. so we compete to be better. when we lose, we become envious. in turn devising excuses and false claims to butter up our egos. we complain agst each other. but as Christ forgave us, so we muz do also. and i'm learning along the way

as john the baptist was the best man to the bridesgroom (jesus), he decreased himself to increase jesus. all to reconcile the bride (israel) and groom (jesus) decreasing oneself brings along the puncturing of our well-padded egos and self-image. how easy it is to say to be humble but yet hard to put ourselves down. doesn't juz relate to jesus and us, but also how we relate with one another. b4 we forgive, we hav to decrease ourselves b4 our adversaries. to forgive and forget.

a lesson frm a close friend: we don't need to worry if we hav God, so a life that cannot be destroyed is very visible for all to see. cheerio ellie!

she bangs she bangs.. oh baby cuz she moves she moves.. lalalla....
hahha william hung. the biggest thing internationally. he reached his peak even faster than all previous american idols like kelly clarkson, rubben studdard and clay aiken..

this guy's got his own 'style' man! check out the cutsie blue tee, tucked in so tightly (reminds me of the old times when ah lians tucked in their sch blouses) and tt chain on his pants (some effort in creating the idol image) hahaha...
kinda cute, but obviously not the idol type.

we've got claymates after nerdo-turned-idol aiken, why not hav some 'hungsters' after william hung? cool rite.. hahhaha...
okok, i don't wanna insult aiken cuz he's got a really good voice. in fact, he shld duet with rubben (mr barry white jr)

treat ppl sincerely, don't be a hyprocrite and act nice. u can try to be nice, but save that act.
i can't imagine how ppl can try to be nice one moment and at the back, all the claws are out
be sincere to ppl and i'm sure it'll be reciprocrated

haven't been feeling too great lately. a bit jaded abt stuff. so probably i sound like some total bitch. but yah, if not for those ppl who listen to me complain and complain, i'll really burst out having to bottle all of tt. a couple of things hav been buggin me but yah.. taming my tongue. something tt i've tried very hard to control. so far so gd, but it almost popped outta my mouth that day. thank goodness i juz shut up in time.

wah i really sound like some irritating loser today. better shuddup or i'll really be a bitch.
apologies for the b-word

oversensitivity: what does it mean to you?
is it bad? no, cuz if u're not sensitive then you're as hard as a rock and oblivious to your surrounds
is it gd? no, cuz u'll be overly paranoid and troubled by foolish thoughts
moderation is always the key, as it always goes, but where in tt spectrum is the optimum?
-you tell me-

yoohoo! finally got broadband today. signed up and haha got this mobile voucher. hahah i hope i can use it to change a phone! ahhaha then again, muz see if my parents wanna use it. bet my bros are gonna be greeeeen with envy. hahah u're stuck with ur nokia phones buddy!

hmm got some ppl buggin me abt how's life in ntu. what can i say, it's so cheena and i can't believe i'm really sucked into it. used to be quite a kentang, but now i can juz mumble jumble in chinese! hahaha.. oh they also did ask the ever gossip-churner question: my love life. Hahahah what am i supposed to say man? I enjoy all the freedom I have now and i don't think i'm ready lah. Ok, this is to tell all u ppl who might ask me this stupid qn so yah. Now you know my answer. Hahahha i don't even hav time to myself nowadays, being stretched in school, cca and even in church. So many things, so little time. Yah, all of u.. Don't ask me already!!!!

hahahha this ugly hideous page has finally gotten a face lift! all thanks to dinko.. hahha.... u bet i'm one heeugeee idiot at this..
crazy, come to skool so early to do this kinda dumb thing. then again if not i'll be sleeping at home. the weather is really great to snooze.. drats, training later in the muddy n dirty field. gonna be soggy n wet again.. gross.... haha sound so bimbotic. but i really cant stand it. being dirty, muddy n smelly is juz not me! hahha....

haha so funny.. yanyi n qinlei are actually shocked tt i've got a blog. hmm is there some personality attached to bloggers?? ahhaha dunno...
man i had my mktg n acct tutorials today. wah i haven't seen so lame tutors. hahah quite entertaining lah, but hmm don't really appear professional. then again, can't judge juz like tt. but yah.. this sem, all the tutors are strange. yet to find a tutor i like as compared to tt china man last sem. hahah china man was naggy but super gd at explaining n teaching stuff outside of the course. tutors, listen up! don't hav to intro so much of ur life. eh i doubt anyone's really interested. but ok lah, give u credit for trying to make it interesting n personal. hahah okok i shan't be so cynical n mean..
we'll see. haha probably i'm wrong abt all these

chinese new year! hahah tho not exactly my favourite holiday, but well i do enjoy the goodies. hahah eat n eat, ma chiam like a pig. everyone in my family's sick so i'll probably be next in line. supposed to like control my mouth but eh it ain't working. anyway, happy new year to everyone!

had a terrible day on friday. training was horrid. i did everything tt could possibly go wrong. so yah kena some kinda scolding too. but could take it lah, altho i really wanna get outta the team now. sob.. it ain't like being screamed at by my team mates. at least we understand each other n yah still hav a great time together bonding. chock is really gd, at least she understands stuff. she's much faster than me. so go for it, chock! =)

juz caught mona lisa smile with rou n qinlei on tues. man it's a great show. not ur typical show with some dramatic storyline tt builds up to a climax. juz a nice show tt's mild all the way. great performance by roberts n the girls. haha but what i remembered most is tt nerdy chap who dated one of the girls. man, his glasses are soooo dated! hahah 3 of us were juz laughin at him! but yeah, thot it was a great show with like nice theme!!! oh the soundtrack sounds faaaantastic! so classic.. if u haven't watched it, u better do! hahah then again, i think it's more like a girly show to watch with ur girl pals instead of ur mates

had trg yest evening and boy am i unfit! was panting n panting after juz a little run.. hmm actually i didn't even wanted to go for selections. was persudaded by chock n yiwen lor. well not sure if it's sth to be happy or not, but chock n i made it to the 14, which will be reduced to the final 12 later. guess it's quite confirmed tt i'm going out when they choose the 12, and i'm kinda happy abt it! hahha cuz i don't think i'm driven like i was last time to really compete well.. but hey i'll definitely go watch n hahah 'spy' on my friendsin nus n smu. wensi, jieren, shaqi steph watch out! hahahhaa....