"Nothing" - Jeremy Camp's Stay

Well I must have been good I must have been right To see you standing holding, holding me tight With your arms around me i know that you are there You're never in the distance I always know you're near

Nothing i can do, nothing i can say Can make you love me more, your love remains the same You gave it all for me, you gladly took my place To rid myself of all, all my guilt and shame

I must have stood strong, i must have stood tight To yield the thoughts around me, the battle in my mind And knowing you surround me, your wings coat my despair Whatever my condition, the cross it shows you care

:::::::::::::

How apt when we study about Jesus' faithfulness for BS this week.

Juno - one of the only films on screen now tt's worth watching. Also the mind stimulating kind, rather than silly "Meet the Spartans" (alright it's good for a wkend brainless laugh)

The scriptwriter for Juno's brilliant. Able to intertwine both reality and some humor in it. Very interesting how issues such as teenage pregnancy, maturity, abortion, marriage, social strata, love etc are mixed in a very tasteful fashion and not to overwhelming. Like some film festival shows but not too over the top. Worth a watch. Thanks pork chop for the movie treat! Love it! :)

Have been thinking about the human race this whole week. My conclusion: humans are weird and ugly.

Take a little train ride each morning and you'll see the real facet of humans. Squeezing and shoving their way into the train carriage. I wonder where's the social graces. Even if you don't feel like pushing your way in, someone behind you pushes you forward. (Yes ladies are always at risk. Aunties are the surviving champs) This morning's train ride totally pissed me off. Someone along my bench was actually quarelling over some seat! Goodness gracious. Then when it looked like all was quiet during the journey, some other wacko came in shouting "please move in, there's not ghosts in the centre. I'm not the ghost. Why don't you want to move in? There are pretty girls to look at in the centre." Although all these people weren't talking to me, it just spoiled my day. Re-affirms my thought all week about how ugly people can be.

Maybe all we see is a facade of people and things. Beneath everyone is some deep and dark secret that they try to hide. Of course I'm human too and it doesn't preclude me from the pack. But it's a matter of what one's hiding. Is it something that compromises your friend's trust in you? We might seem to know someone for ages, thinking that we know all about them as we can. But truth is, maybe not. Maybe there are some things a person wishes to keep mum about. Hmm, but aren't people supposed to be truthful to one another? Can we not even blink when we say sth that our mind/heart tells us not to? Can we trust humans 100%? I think the better bet's with God.

Sometimes I wished I was as gulible as I was back in sch. Yup I know that I'm easily fooled, always trusting and always taking things as gospel truth. But isn't that better? It's easier to deal with a crying baby than an expressionless person. As stupid as it sounds, it might be better to live in a make-believe world and think that everyone's righteous. Than to discover years later that some thing you believed all these while is not what it is. I don't know whether it is better to know or not to know and live in ignorance.

Well some things don't change - our guts. Ack, this has just confirmed that my guts are usually more accurate than my rational mind. Bleah..

Looking at other people's photos of partying, travels and social gatherings etc kinda makes me feel like some big stick-in-the-mud. Like so loserish to rather spend time at home with my family, even if it means just sitting around watching tv.

Oh well, I've got no life. Just work and home. But I kinda am such a person. No social butterfly. Then that's where the conundrum is for me - feeling bored staying at home yet not a keen person of large gatherings.

Yup cheers to sitting at home and watching aimless dramas with my family. I'd rather spend time at home where we don't need to pretend to be very sociable. Close friends are gd enuff. Partying to hook up some networking is stupid.

Hahha, can't imagine how no life I am now. Playing silly online games early in the morning and chatting with ex-colleagues.

It's whenever my ex-colleagues ask me how's work/colleagues/life etc that I realise how much better it is to work with them. Yup audit sucks, the long hours and doing things that are seemingly pointless and non-value adding. But I guess it's the team that sustains everything. To suffer together and appreciate each other's work more. To be valued beyond your work - as a friend and not just a colleage/co-worker. Maybe it's just lucky that uncle boon's team is the strongest and closest knit within AABS21. Dunno. But well, I'll run along alone in the new work environment with that little group of newbies; my new princesses at work. We decided not to include the princes cos they're all married and one even tendered and took back his letter. I feel so pessimistic talking to him that I decided to stay away in case it rubs off me. Hahah!

Anyhow, I'll wait for the Labroy and CSE teams to come back to ORQ and we can have lunch!

Meanwhile, it's back to playing silly online games and waiting to have BS with the girls.. :)

Hmmm CNY second day.. How does everyone feel? Sick of all the snacks and bak gua? I am kinda sick of all the food already. Feeling bloated and over-stuffed every moment. Trying so hard to eat in moderation, but it's difficult when the elders keep asking you to eat. Oh well, so I'll just try to live with a big stomach for the time being. Hahhaa!

Feeling absolutely alert and awake after clocking in many many hours of sleep yesterday (maybe abt 10hrs) after I knocked out early last night.. But wow, it's gd to feel more refreshed after a bath.

Today's visitation was less hectic cos we didn't go to 2 places in the end. Well, my family's gonna visit them tmr, but I'll be giving them a miss this year. Prefer the slower pace of just visiting a few people will do. But I guess my dad's trying to keep the tradition of visiting all the elderly cos they don't see us any other time during the year.

Yup, so there's the CNY rush for my family... Phew....

The one final gathering at Yee Lin's place - the annual fellowship of that community of people who have shared their teenage yrs together.

Quite amazing how this group has evolved over the years.. Couples getting married, new ones getting attached (hahah like yours truly), married couples having first kids (most have progressed onto baby #2) and including new young adults we meet at YAM.

I absolutely love such gatherings even though it's not a very regular thing. It's lovely to catch up with folks you are close with. A community where you can be yourself, laugh out loud and tease each other for being so geeky as youths.

Aside from having nice fellowship, there's also the new topic of joy - laughing at the kids when they do silly things. So there it was the first photo of the kids sitting together on the couch. Those kind that we always had as kids, memories of our childhood friends. It'll be fun to capture that same group sitting on couches at different stages of their life; to see how they've grown etc. Tsk, I hope to lay hands on one of those photos for the blog. If not I'll just hawk over Dav's blog. (he never fails to amaze me in doing the most out-of-the-box things ever)

For now it's farewell to dearest package.. We'll see you real soon!

Hate it when I'm sick cos I'm like a walking burping bag - burp every few minutes. It was so embrassing this morning when I cldn't control my incessant burping in front of all my colleagues. How unglam and disgusting for a girl to keep burping. Guess I must stop teasing pork chop for his burps.. Bleah...

Saner moments in Bintan this year..

A timely reminder while reading on YZ's blog which I've marked out in my Bible ages ago. Guess I'm just the most boring nerd still believing in this, and proud to say that these verses speak the truth of how we shld conduct ourselves (I mean for girls. Guys can just read on whole of 1 Peter 3 for the whole picture).

1 Peter 3: 3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

blessed new year to one and all! i'm not trevor, but it's the same message nonetheless.. alritey, may it be a better year for everyone!

my lovely birthday present - thanks dear! it probably cost u lotsa sweat n sleep.. love it!

love actually

Sometimes when a person just wants to wind down completely at home but ends up having a pile of things to deal with, it does help a little to watch a movie like this to be thankful for the family around.

Wanna curl up alone and watch it somewhere. Hopefully there's a sappy part for all easily teary-eyed girls. Heh..

A year ago I was in Houston, things have changed and I just came back from Bintan. How different...

Hmm it's quite nice having the whole house to myself for once. Everyone's out for dinner, grandpa's out for a day tour in Malacca and only coming back later. Hee, it's quite nice to just not have so many 'bodies' around in sucha small space.

Can't imagine I've just wasted like an hour on facebook and friendster. Even wonder what's the point of these webpages. Do stupid things and snoop on everyone's photos. Sounds a bit superficial cuz everyone just makes some judgement on ppl based on photos posted.

Random moment of the wkend - seeing a total of 2 dead cats on the road yesterday and today. Absolutely disgusted. Thank goodness I didn't drive them over. Was on the other lane on the expressway on my way home after sending Rach back. Yucks.. And we think of cats having 9 lives. Guess not when they're silly enough to attempt dashing across the expressway.

Alright, time for a little walk to my neighbourhood centre. Getting a little bored at home (see women are fickle.. hahha. kidding)

Lunched in today.. Quite nice for a change although it's super quiet here. It's also quite weird how all the colleagues in my cube lunched in today. Worst thing is that we all kept quiet. Everyone reading their own emails n stuff. And here I am typing furiously at this blog post. Haha.. I even wonder if I'll get sacked for blogging. Oh well, then again I'm not posting any thing w suspicious blog content. I'm a politically friendly person.

Darn, I've got things to do but I'm just quite bored at work cuz I still haven't found chummy friends like Aunty Goh back in EY. Ok nvm, I'll jio jio the newbies for tea sometime. Good that we had lunch tog yesterday and will be having another one tmr. Hahaha I think the girls are also bored stiff too.

Looking fwd to facial later on!!!

It's very strange how some people's fate can change in the most unexpectedmanner. I was just reading some website on world news on money launderingand other fradulent activities. Cldn't imagine how the weekly contributorwas someone who had some background in being a money launderer. But well,the website is still genuine in that this person's background is undertight scrutiny. It was kinda like deja vu when I was reading his profile,cause it reminded me of the money "Catch me if you can". Funny rite, howhe's turning over a new leaf by providing the world insights into how thiswhole lot of fishy business goes along, and yet at the same time be in themidst of some pending trial of his own.

But it's quite interesting and refreshing to read and realise how all theseactivities that used to be very fictional to me is so real in our world.Things that I used to read on novel books are actually happening. And theauthorities around the world are doing their part in diligently trackingthese culprits around, in hope of restoring more transparency in ourmarkets.Interesting..

Learning new things about our world each day. Caveat:learning from reading things on authenticated sources. Heh

More often than not, it always takes some drastic event before we all appreciate the little things in life.

It's been a week since a church member was being called home to the Lord. And his family came for service today, where his wife gave thanks for the support rendered during the funeral by all the church members. The kids were all back in church. And kids being kids, somehow the two younger ones were still smiling as usual. Except for the oldest boy, who looks the same little shy boy he is.

Well it's things that we see happen to people closer to us that shakes us and makes everyone realise how lucky we all are, to be able to enjoy the simple things of life. Having a meal with the family, being able to move around on our own, being able to smile etc. Thank God for the little things that are in essence the really important things that anyone will ever need.

My mom was sharing how this loss for the family turned out to be a lesson for her Sunday school class. I also had a discussion about this with my BS group yesterday. Yeah, it's such things that causes us to take count of the many blessing that we all have.

Riches and glory are but transient things we may or may not enjoy on earth. As I'm typing these, I'm also overhearing my grandpa's conversation with my uncle about how lucky he is to enjoy his travels. Other relatives around his age are starting to deteriorate, and see their physical bodies age. Those who were considered more lucky and blessed than him in the good old days because of their riches, are now stuck at home trying to cling onto whatever things that they have left. Those who are rich also face their giants - having big bungalows but yet see their family members trying to sell the home because no one lives there anymore except for the elderly and the maid. I even wonder how can any child conceive such a thought. Weren't they the ones who enjoyed the comforts of the house purchased with their parent's hard earned money?

Whatever it is, I'm just loving the ordinary life that I have right now. Nothing that I want to change. I'm lovin it!

And this song always rings in my head when I head off for work in the morning..

ANGEL IN DISGUISE

I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed
and dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'

But out on the street it starts to pour
and before I get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look at Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise

I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea

But out on the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places,
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise

I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new.

With the rugby world cup season currently underway, it's terrible not to have cable TV. Argh, I've only caught one All Blacks match. Still remember sitting w the rest of the ruggers at National Statdium back during jc days watching the Rugby 7s. Feel like tossing the Gilbert ball now.. But in a terrible shape to even last for half of the 7minute sprinting..

What is meant by living an enriched and eventful life? Do we engage in many various activities and hobbies instead of being glued to the google box?

Sometimes there are days in which I wonder what am I spending my time on. Watching the telly all day seems brainless (a good 'exercise' after a long day's work) and entertaining, but it gets a little too much. Quite a waste of time.

Then again, ask me what I can suggest to do in Singapore and I can hardly come up with anything really special or exiciting. We're just too small and boring. All people do are so repetitive and aimless.

Hmm wonder if short road trips are possible over the weekends... Wanna get out and do something exciting!!

Gosh, I'm becoming a city rat and a bore..

Time flashes past when you're enjoying it. Just when I started to enjoy the one week of break from work, there it comes - back to work on Monday. Sob..

Can't we go for long breaks? Sigh, ok we're tasked by God to labour at the 'fields', so just accept it.

Hoping that work will be more interesting and there's more work life balance to come.

Alrite, must enjoy the break while it lasts! Handle all things with God's strength!