Thank God for answering my prayers for the milk to cone fast cos I had been struggling with Jon for past 10mins.

Don't know why some mummies are so blessed with an over-abundance of milk. They don't need to fret over how much they would get each time they express, feel the guilt that baby's got to have formula supplement, then fight internal struggles to psycho themselves that it's ok and keep up the positive spirit else supply dips further.

I try not to think abt it each day. Avoid looking at the freezer compartment so that I won't be reminded of how little my "factory" has produced. And I just hope that Jon would be patient with me when nursing so that I don't feel bad that I'm not satisfying him at first instant. I keep fighting my own "monster" that tells me to just take the easy way out and give formula. I tell myself to press on cos this is best for Jon - God has created nature as such so it's good for Jon to be breastfed.

I just wonder why does God make breastfeeding such a trying journey for some. To learn to depend on God? Yes, I prayed a million times about increasing milk supply. An example of my daily prayer while having breakfast is "God thank You for providing us with the means to have a breakfast each day. Help my body to absorb all the nutrients so that Jon may be nourished. Help me to keep up with Jon's increasing appetite. If You may, increase my supply so that I can store some for Jon over and above what he consumes. Lord, You know my desires to totally breastfeed Jon without supplement - it is still my daily prayer that You can help my body achieve that. Amen."

Hmm God's answer is clearly not an instant 'Yes'. Maybe it's a 'Wait' or even a 'No'. I dunno. Meanwhile I just take each day as it comes and hope that we don't have to encounter a very angry and loud Jon when he's hungry.

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