The short bangkok trip over the wkend was great. Refreshing break from the usual monotony in SG. Not exactly refreshing in the literal sense cuz it's just too dusty n humid in bkk. But nice. I always like to see Thai ppl, even tho I got kinda ripped off by the hawkers at Chatchuchak. Ended up not buying lotsa, except for shirts for PA. Gee.. No bargains found.

This week's a hell lot of decision making for me. Not sure where I wanna go after graduation. Not sure whether I shld move with my previous instincts and rock the boat, or suffer on the dark side and enjoy the company. Yeah my parents think I'm kinda stupid to think that the team will remain, and that I'm sorta 'conned' by what ppl tell me. But then again, maybe I shld just go along and sign on the dotted line. Not sure.

Even as I prepare to make my decision, my mind's in a total mess. Every moment I keep questioning myself whether it's really the right choice. Should I submit my application tmr or wait till next wk? Shld I forego the prestige of being in PWC and join EY? Such a big gamble. Guess I'll just have to take whatever consequences that comes my way. Oh God, please let it be a right choice. One that I won't regret or look back again. If it's gonna be a shitty year, then gimme strength and patience to endure things.

Toss up: rock the boat and enjoy the reputation / remain status quo and be deprived of a life
As what I hear everyday from my colleague, "sign on the dotted line..."
Question is which company??

Almost lost my wallet today in the Jurong Pt library. Somehow I just left my wallet at the loan desk after checking out some magazines, and I walked off without realizing it was still on the desk. Was still telling myself that I might just leave my wallet there and lose it.

Wierd how things can just happen exactly how you predict it to be. I must have been a zombie walking around and not aware of my surroundings. Esp after a long day with En Shyang & Fion's wedding.

But really thank God for kind souls who brought my wallet back to the librarians for safekeeping after they found it on the desk. The librarians were also nice enough to call my home to try finding me (although I wasn't home). They also made an announcement in the library, but I left immediately after loaning the magazines.

Be nice if you see anything. Return them to the help desk. What you pick up might just be owned by yours truly.

There were a zillion kids giving out flyers and doing surveys along the streets today. Thanks to holiday jobs and irritating employers who are pouncing on cheap labour. Signing hordes of kids up to be surveyors and flyer distributors.

Irritates me a little to have flyers shoved into my face; people coming up saying "miss, are you singaporean?" Erm quite duh rite. Anyway, much as I understand how it's very pathetic not to have people take those flyers from you, it still kinda irks me that they're trying to give me something that I totally don't want. Guess people are also less kind when you're young and able bodied. Anytime some auntie at Somerset passes you the flyer, chances are that you'll take it from her.

Thank goodness our attachment doesn't require us to give our flyers, although it's also no guarantee that it'll be a fabulous job. We'll just pray and see what happens on day1 this coming monday.

It's really scary how things can turn out. Never in my life have I really blanked out during an exam. The last count was back in Crescent. Really freaky how it's so easy to crash and burn during a short 2.5hours that kind of determines your next sem's timetable.

Also a reminder for me to stick real close to God. Guess He really can't stand how I've been trying to run things my own way, relying on my own ways and not His. A wakeup call for me to look at my life. Better not play a fool with God, He can just pull you back from lalaland. Much as He's a God of grace, He can be really frightening when we incur His wrath.

L I T T L E S U P E R H E R O G I R L (written by Corrinne May)

I feel like a little girl

Trying to conquer the whole wide world

Everybody wants a piece of me

And I just don't know where to turn

I've got work piled up to my head

All I want to do is jump into bed

And wash away my troubles with lemonade

Play hide and seek with the boy next door

Take a trip to Singapore and

Imagine how I'll make the world a better place

All I need is a good disguise

One where nobody can recognise

That I'm feeling so small

All I need is a secret weapon

I've gotta have faith

Zapping monsters into outer space

I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-naNa-na-na-na-na-na-naNa-na-na-na-na-na-Yeah

If I were a little girl

Trying to clean up the whole wide world

I'd kick the bad boys back to school

Teach them fighting's just not cool

I'd give every kid a teddy bear

Turn starving people into millionaires

Break glass ceilings with dynamite sprinkle a little sugar and spice

Turn the bullies that terrorize

Into pink poodles that bark, but don't bite

All I need is a good disguise

One where nobody can recognise

That I'm feeling so small

All I need is a secret weapon

I've gotta have faith

Zapping monsters into outer space

I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-naNa-na-na-na-na-na-naNa-na-na-na-na-na-Yeah

Little Superhero Girl Little Superhero Girl

Save me

Little Superhero Girl Little Superhero Girl

Save me from myself

I feel like a little girl Trying to conquer the whole wide world

:::

ain't it just so cute. cheers to all the rocking girls!

Bt Batok Pres Youth Fellowship joined us at Youth Zone today. Kinda cool to see all youths to congregate and gather to worship in one spirit. Really. Something new that we've explored. Kudos to the ppl who organized it. Although it makes me feel kind of older than all of them, it was good to see all their faces brighten up during worship. A blast. Maybe too much of a blast that some older folks in church might not take it. Haha...

Reminds me of how powerful it is when God's people come to worship together, regardless of where we come from. Just like how it was at the youth congregation at Chiang Rai. God's presence was really felt over at Chiang Rai. Guess that was why I teared even though I didn't understand a single thing they were saying. The power of God's spirit moving among the people!

:::

What makes this day especially interesting is how I managed to park with a car beside me! Haha, quite a venture for me considering how a terrible 'parker' I am. Best of all, I could do it in one move and get the whole vehicle within the lot! Hahaha... interesting. But it isn't perfect lah. Not exactly in the middle of the lot, but I'm so darn pleased. A step forward for this lousy driver. I'll try again tmr - last day before Dad returns and uses the vehicle.

Hahhaa, presentations are finally over. That's a whole load off my back. Think we all looked so smart today. Wonder when I'll get the photo. Anyway it seems that everytime there's a presentation, there'll definitely be some photo taking session. Haha same went for the girls, with chock wen and li, also with chunli and gang. Worst one was Yr1 Mktg project. Literally spent like an hr before presentation fooling around with the camera. Hahaha...

everyone shld just listen to john mayer and herbie hancook's stiched up! totally awesome. 100 marks for chill out factor!

anyway i think i really saw ah lian's buddy ilynn in school today. chock saw too. she says can't be her. but how can it be? it really is her?! oh well, nothing shocking why we see ppl in sch. ntu's a public area anyway. wonder how is ah lian....

Oh man, that was just the final episode of the Jap show Pride. There goes my weekly dose of Jap craze and drooling over Takuya Kimura. Guess that is one of the few people whom I really think possess real charisma. Too bad, tt's all in Japan. None here that's of equivalent kinda charisma. Hahha..!

It's also not just the cute factor that makes this show so intriguing. There's always the game itself that really draws people. Reminds me of what kind of adrenaline rush I always had during touch games. It was what really drove me to push all limits. The kind of team spirit was wonderful. How we were (and still are) so close. Brings back those memories where I would be on a high during training and competition. Picturing in my mind all those game plans and strategy. Listening to rock and psyching myself up for any competition. Don't ever think those people who scream and shout during a match are just headless chickens making much noise, it really brings out a different person on the field. It really works.

Although I really don't play any more sports, no more touch or tennis, I still yearn for that kind of rush - where you really play your guts out as a team, pushing each other on and enjoying each other's victories and misses. The feel of breaking through the defense, the feel of passing off for your mate to finish off beautifully, the feel of making a touchdown. I really miss that part of my life back in JC days. It'll never be replicated with any other team, other than the girls whom sweat it all out with me during those punishing nites doing PT. Every scene of the games we played keeps replaying in my mind. How we smiled with faces full of pespiration, the determined look when we had to endure all the mad cap running like guys.

Sometimes, I wished that I didn't stop playing touch. Miss game, miss the spirit of touch. Doubt that I would ever get that in NTU, cause I really just miss playing with the rugrats. It's a whole different ball game playing and getting used to other's playing styles.

Maybe I'll indulge myself in more movies like the Titans or more Takuya Kimura. Sink myself into delusion. What the heck am I talking abt.. Aftermath of watching and gluing myself to Halu 9. Too bad my favourite jersey number isn't 9.

Hooray! I got the confirmation from Ernst & Young yesterday! Sheesh, I was so paranoid that I thought the partner who confirmed the selection with me during interview was patronizing me. How comforting it is to hear the confirmation again from their HR. Kind of looking forward to attachment after a very dry period of uni work. It's totally stale and brain-numbing.

Checked Studentlink and realized that Ritz Carlton had released their shortlisted candidates. A little disppointed that I didn't get a call from them cuz I was also secretly hoping that I would be given a chance, even tho a thousand and one applied. Maybe I shld've just applied for Toyota.. Haha might just get a discount to buy a car. Yah rite, like I can even afford it if they give me half price.

All this craze about planning your career has been kinda scary. Was just talking to QL in the car yesterday. Guess I'm not the only one who doesn't know what I want in future. Hmm, ok maybe I know what I want. Just that it's impractical to choose to backpack and travel the world as my life ambition. My parents will just kill me for using up all their money and not support the family. Haha..

Is planning really gonna be fruitful? Think it only reassures people of their future; telling them that they did make an effort to do something about it. But hey, doesn't it really take divine intervention in reality? We can plan all we want, but there's ain't any guarantee. I'll just take one step at a time. Do what is laid before me well and let the results be in His hands. Safer option too. Just get a job and be done with it. Dn bother going all out to climb some flimsy corporate ladder. Too many spikes along the ladder. It's sad to bleed to death that way.

Parable of the Talents - message for YZ yesterday.

Guess it's really speaking to me since the girls mentioned that I really outta use my abilities to serve in different aspects. Well, one of the lessons what that if we don't use our talents, God can just take them away.

Anyway the girls are so amazing. They're such a lovely bunch of girls. Wanted to make noise at them for not doing their bs etc. Guess only Rach knew that I wanted to make noise. But after their mini-advice session for me, my nagging has sorta disappeared. Very encouraged by each and everyone of them because I've been learning and seeing things happening in their lives; how they've grown closer as a group. Yeah, Hebrews 10:34-35 really works!

See my beauties on Sat for bs again! :)

It just so strange how some team dynamics just don't work out. After so many good project teams, I really feel so strange in one that still hasn't got over the norming stage. Can't imagine we're still wondering and figuring out how to do stuff after so many meet ups. Grr... I'd rather have a team that has gotten past trying to figure out each other's work habits. Sign of impatience now.

so thrilled that i managed to tap on someone's wireless network just in my room! not exactly that fast, but it's considerable. at least i manage to come online. no more fussing with my bros over the computer. and i get to do things in my own room. thank God for wireless network subscribers who don't lock their networks with passwords. hahah... it pays to share (excuse the pun here. it ain't intentional)

my new haircut's so nerdy. sheesh. like some geek. but then again, it's just kinda like my jc cut. all cropped and fuss free - albeit it's less funky now cuz i don't think i can manage trying to spruce it up everyday. oh well, i'll just pretend that i'm some freshie in sch. hahhaa...

::

applying for PA is exciting yet tedious. all those admin stuff to take care of and writing to be done. grr.. and my whole resume looks pathetic. i even had to copy other ppl's cover letter for my own. poor thing. kind of excitied as well cuz this time it's really working in some bigger co (provided i get either of my choice) rather than some industrial area again. was kind of tempted to go for makino which is nearer. but ok lah, i'll just cross my fingers and pray that God gives me either choice

a new blog skin that is totally geometric and interesting. in a stage of evolution and change. can't stick to same old stuff. darn boring.

oh well, i'm also getting sick of blogging. no patience to sit down n tell the whole world what's happening to me. besides, it's much nicer to tell my lovely friends than having them read it off some public thing.

what the heck, i'm rambling again. anyway sch is boring except for 311 tutorials. hahha.. oh well, just being really childish and silly over it. but yah, much more interesting horizons than usual boring souls in other classes. just for viewing pleasure.

Haven't been posting much on the blog. Oh well, I'm just not so dedicated to sitting down and jotting down my whole life out. Maybe I'll change my blogskin for the new sem. For the record, this sem is so boring. Think it just gets worse. Ahhh...... Quick, lemme go to Europe now!

Finally got my thailand photos, but I wonder if I'm going to even post them up. It takes so much effort. I'll just print em in hardcopy and share it around when someday I do look at Rou & Qinlei's exchange photos.

Drats, I need a bath. Didn't run and I just slept the whole afternoon. I'm such a sleuth. Gross.

Retreat was good. Never thought it would work out. All the quite moments spent reading Scriptures and praying. Haha, well I'm always a pessimist and a person of little faith. So once again, God has demonstrated that I better not underestimate Him, and that I ought to have more faith. Yeah, it was great that everyone had a time to get away from the buzz of everday life to reflect and listen to God. Yah, no words can sorta describe what we did or learnt, but it was spiritually upliting.

:::::

Went for 2 funerals in 2wks. Kinda scary how what Rou said is true, when you are in your twenties, it's more likely that we attend more funerals. Just this morning, got another msg from Kien Seng that Yi En & Yi Ling's grandma passed away in Hong Kong. Thank goodness Aunty Grace is already there to meet her mom with Yi Jing. Wonder whether Pastor Cheng Huat will bring the kids over for the funeral. And to think that I just heard him conduct Yee Lin's grandma's funeral yesterday.

Just as I was sitting there looking at the coffin, it just made me wonder how foolish some people are during their lives. It's pointless really using your whole life just to pursue things that you can't bring with you at the end. Death is what equalizes all men-rich and poor, all are alike upon death. You just lie there. And you really take comfort and joy that even though you're relegated to lying motionless here on earth, there's another new journey in heaven.

This whole spate of NKF news is really stirring lotsa emotions among S'poreans. Well I guess, it's sth we all expected and knew deep in our hearts, but it just never came into light officially. Kinda sad how people can start out with a sole goal of wanting to help people, purely humanitarian and altruistic, but being swayed by other agendas along the way.

Kind of disgusting also how the money has been squandered to provide for someone's excessive comfort while others are struggling with the little savings they have just to stay alive.

How could NKF have gotten by without being transparent for so many yrs? Political power behind their backs? Oh well, we never know unless we're part of the board.

Guess now they really really need to restore tt reputation. A terribly difficult position for the new executive and board. God bless them in their pursuit man.

Anyway those vandalizers are really stupid. Why use such lowly way of getting back at the org? Not only doesn't prove your point, it also gets them (or tt person) into trouble. Hahah, but funny thing is they can actually converse in 3 languages. I was pretty tickled by tt.

Whatever comes of this whole saga, I think no one shld stray from the main goal of helping people. Not just through NKF, but also remember the many more VWOs around. Be happy that we are still healthy and kicking. Who knows, someday we might just be those needing help.

Beauty often comes at a price. Pointy shoes are a killer. I just bought a pair last week when I went shopping with Vien. Hahah being very gung ho, I thought I must get a nice pair of pointed shoes for presentations etc.. Not exactly very pointed like an elf type, but ok lah. Quite nice and not very ex cuz I just got it at Far East (again..)

So I wore it today for work at the Asian Civilisation Museum. Hahha don't be so fast as to think I was a curator or sth. It was some Intel Conference held there. Oh boy, I stood and stood for like hours! My toes are aching, my whole feet's arched till I almost died. Basically, my feet's covered with blisters and in a contorted shape now.

See, this is the outcome of being vain and insisting on wearing that even when Vien and my mom said it would hurt. Hahha, I'm just like that. Stubborn. So I'm paying for the price of vanity now. Not just physical pain, but also a little of my pocket cuz I took a cab home from CBD area after work. Hahah with the jacket that I bought for work, I wonder if I still made enough to cover all the expenses. Then again, there's probably another fair next week. We'll see if they call me again.

Eagerly waiting for my pay now...

Finally got to visit Amy yesterday. Too bad we didn't get to see baby Issac cuz he was in ICU. Doctors were concerned cuz he didn't cry much at birth and didn't respond much to feeding. Thank God he started feeding much better yesterday. Poor Amy, she's kinda torn not being able to always visit Issac cuz he's in ICU. Hopefully he's able to come out today. But this is one cute l'ill baby! He's got such big eyes (can't imagine he opened his eyes just when he was a day old. Thought babies take quite a long time b4 they open their eyes to see the wonderful world.) and he's got a dimple on one side! Hhahaha, one hunk in the making.

So there's another baby boy in church. Can't imagine that all 3 couples tt got married are all having boys. What happened to Dav's silly calculation to guess that his was a girl?! Hahhaa oh well, goes to show how reliable these things are.

Gonna be visiting Amy again. Probably at her place. Hmm where am I gonna find those sarong to carry babies? Maybe I'll ask the rest whether they wanna share the present for her.