Hmm sometimes people really do quite strange things.

I just saw a lady curling her hair with a curler, put on make up,
dress up in the gym toilet. Did all of these while standing on sky-
high heels in the ladies toilet which has clean floors. Wonder why she
bothers to make herself endure such stress from the heels, as her
whole dress up process was so long. I saw her when I first changed to
hit the gym, and she was still there after I finished working out,
bathed, packed my gym gear and left. C'mon, this woman even brought
her full hair curler set to the toilet! It was as if she as going to
the gym for some photoshoot of a girl on a date. So weird!

Thought it was mere coincidence to meet such a strange lady cos most
of the ladies I see at the gym are normal folks. Then came lady number
two. Let's call her GI Jane (she looks like a female version of GI
Joe). She went into the changing room and started whisperin to
herself. It was as if she was having a conversation while alone in the
changing room! Mad!

What's with people these days man! Too stressed up from a city
lifestyle.. IMH might just get busier with the passing of each
generation of city dwellers.

Tired, very very sleepy, blister on my toe, carrying heavy laptop and
jus plain grumpy.. Bah!

Went to Chen Li Presbyterian church this evening for a talk by an
Aussie youth pastor on re-thinking youth ministry of today.

Really very refreshing and a reminder that I still have the heart more
for the teenagers (even though I admit that there's some kind of
generation gap now) than the young adults. God has opened my eyes
during my period of service in YZ to see the immense potential of a
youth and what he/she can do for God. It's quite unlike a young adult
whose thoughts and ways have already been very fixated in a certain
way that it's hard for them to even change for God.

While teenagers could be thought to be brash and wilful, it's also
this very strong passion for things that make or break. Spur them onto
the right path with God and it is likely that these life principles
carry them through life.

Yes, there is the issue of how strongly do young adults cling onto
these life principles they learnt during their teens when they star
facing a whole slew of new decisions, circumstances and temptations. I
won't profess to be good at it as a young adult myself. In fact, we're
all on the same path of self discovery and lifelong learning and
experincing God. But what I know was that I can look back and say with
more confidence that it was no mistake serving Christ actively. Even
if it meant a lot of hard work juggling school work, CCA and church
ministry/ activities, I never forget how dearly I clung onto God for
everything in my life. To learn from Amy Chan about discipleship, to
learn from Pei Fern that crying for the lost is not a sign of personal
weakness, to learn from Zhiqiang and Dav the passion that drives them
to sacrifice much personal time to build relationships with us in the
journey of disciple making etc. The list goes on..

What I am saying is that we do not lose focus of why we serve and what
is our ministry is. To be Christ like, both in thought, word and deed..

Think I've had a bit too long a break from hectic and stressful work
days that it's hard to get back into the groove. Either my mind
panicks or it slips into a state of daze and inactivity.. I'm quite
screwed for this year's appraisal. Hmm then again it might be a gd
thing and I'll cruise through. :P

Met up with George and Chao Pak last night to look at the wedding
photos we took at Bali and also George's Singapore shots that he took
for us.. Wow, George really put in lotsa effort to look at the photos
and edit them. Truly his passion. But can see that it takes a toll
when he's also juggling with a full time job and being a young parent.

Hee hee phototaking (both taking of others and being taken) can b
quite fun. Of course, not professional or good model to know what to
do. But the fun is doing silly faces and laughing at yourself when u
see them. Taking of others is also to capture moments which strike u
when u are at some place. To snap the essence of the people, place and
atmosphere.. Nice.

Anyway, thank God for providing all the little things for the wedding.
Etc, church venue, friends and family who help us out, contacts for
good and cheap deals, wonderful photographers both in Singapore and
Bali..

Signing off frm my dad's cab while I make my way to church... :)

Whee! Iphone blogging works! Yes, I'm a tech-idiot. I just learnt it. Whatever.. Now I can blog on the move! LOL

Hmm my first attempt at posting direct to the blog frm moi iPhone!
Testing 1.. 2... 3.... Ready??

Today is yet another reminder that I shouldn't take things for granted.. All things fall into place not because of our fantastic or flawless planning, but all things are held together by Him. Just as He holds the heavens and earth together, He too holds all of us up.

The omnious clouds this morning dampened my heart because it was not ideal for pre wedding photos. Amazingly He answered my prayers and cleared the sky and clouds away! George and crew were great too! Great eye for nice shots and lovely company! We really thank God that He just let this opportunity for a shoot to happen..

Although Dearie met and accident (because someone collided into his car while he was stationary), I still thank God that he was safe. Very proud of my Dearie to be able to collect his emotions after dealing with all of it and rushing to church, and still be able to go on with the shoot. You rock Dear!!

It's our prayer that the insurance claim will go on smoothly. Pray for justice to be served by God and that the motorcyclist would be truthful in his report. Pray also for the pizza company to be reasonable and objective in fulfilling the bumper replacement costs.

I don't know what would lie ahead of us. Whether the insurance case would move on smoothly, whether this would be done amicably. But I know that all things are in His hands and I have to surrender it to Him. I trust that the Lord will see to that justice be served and the innocent would be rightly treated.

Not my will but Yours Lord.. Thank you for all that you've freely provided to us..

Sometimes you can be just so frustrated at your dad for not being a normal dad. Why must he always interfere with me life? I'm getting married and not him. Why must he invite so many ppl until I've gotta now manage n settle his lan tan zi?! Told my mom this morning that it is not an easy number that we can manage. But no one understands!! Now we've got a big problem becos of my dad's wonderful idea to invite the whole world when the church cannot even cope with it.. I feel like scruyying off and just get married in Bali or somewhere where it's jus us and no one else. I'm so frustrated at him that I just tear uncontrolably. Why must it turn out like that? Shouldn't everyone and or families be happy?

I'm gonna be very insistent for once in my life and make sure what we plan goes thru. Enough of them controlling my life, telling me what to learn, what to study, what to work as.. I think no other person would be as guai and not talk back.

I will make sure I don't cry when I start arguing with them. Old enough and they must just let go. (sometimes I wonder if they would've been more relaxed if I studies abroad or stayed in uni hostel through out the 3yrs)

Hmm hv been trying to find an iPhone app that allows blogging. Somehow wordpress and blogwriter lite doesn't support blogspot.com sites.. So here I am trying it out frm blogger.com directly instead.. Wish me luck..

Young people have such great capacities to be active vessels for God in everywhere they are. While I've moved on from serving in YZ, it still cheers my heart to see the youths encouraging and spuring one another in Christ. Looking back, I never once regretted spending the 6yrs taking my group of girls. It was a long time of my life, but I've learnt much from them. Even now as the previously-younger ones have stepped up to serve in various areas, it's a reminder that whatever time we spend with young ppl is not wasted. We are placed in a very critical age of their lives that we can influence them in the way of the Lord.

Yesterday's sermon was about parenting. Though it was more for parents, the message was nevertheless relevant for all leaders. One thing he shared - if you don't influence your child, someone else will. And it made me think of the work of a youth leader. Indeed, it's the sharing of our lives that we may be able to influence the life of a young soul. To influence them in the right direction also means we've got to be in tune with God's heart and mind.

During the sermon, I saw a young boy whom I recalled to be a terror at Sunday School. He and his brother would run around the church, making a din and not being cooperative with Sunday Sch teachers. Yet in the inside of this skin of a little terror was a boy who knew how to love and demonstrate love. He was seated beside his mom in the sanctuary and the air-con was blowing strongly at his mom. And without his mom saying that she was cold, he took the jacket and tucked it over his mom's shoulders. Adjusting it constantly to make sure it was covered his mom properly. Using his scrawny small arms to wrap around his mom's shoulders, trying to give her some warmth. It was really a heart warming sight.

And today, as I watch the video of the recent Youth Camp, it shows of many glowing faces eager to seek God. It's not easy to be a godly young person in our current environment. Yet there are countless young ppl who dedicate their lives to be with God - even if it means being 'weird' in today's context. So I really salute those people who have dedicated their time and lives to mentoring God's new generation of believers. Likewise for those who have lead me all along in church. Praise God.

what's up with internet banking... despite where i come from, i quite hate it actually. it's both dangerous and troublesome. so many tokens, passwords and user IDs to remember if you've got many banking relationships. with the limited memory capacities of a normal human being, we end up jotting down these details somewhere or use the same set for every bank; both of which are very dangerous and not the ideal case your bank's IT personnel would advise.

extremely troublesome things that come along with technology.

spent a whole nite trying to figure out how to log into my hsbc account, and i realised i forgot my username. i'm probably locked out by the system after repeated failed attempts to test which userID i used. anyway they're gonna call me tmr to set it up again. thank goodness i don't have enough reward points to claim anything decent.

took time again to read joel's blog and his fb postings. can tell it's hard to deal with the loss of your wife and having to look after the 2 kids and juggling both work and home responsibilities. everytime that i read his blog, i can't help but hv my eyes wet a bit. looking at the 2 kids, it's so hard to imagine how to explain that amy will not come back to them. they know that she's in heaven, but i suppose no 2 or 4 yr old would really appreciate what heaven really means.

since amy will not be able to attend our wedding ceremony, i hope that her presence joins us with the kids being our page boy and flower girl. of course plus joe as well. hmm finding the right time to seek joe's permission to let the kids join in, yet i'm so afraid that it'll just make it more painful for him. will pray and see how it goes.

amy, you have really left a legacy. everyone misses you. though we could not meet up very regularly since you got married and when you were a strong warrior facing cancer, you have not left any of us. and i thank God that you were my bible study leader.

Liverpool - Singapore match - 26 July 2009 Hee, my first soccer match live. It's a bit strange that there were no live commentaries, like how it is on ESPN or StarSports.. Feels kinda weird. Well not bad, quite nice. As good as watching rugby. Heh.

Just received the news a while back that Amy has been called home... Even though we've kind of expected it to come, it's nevertheless shocking to hear of when it has really happened. Guess Joel is not taking it very well. Moreover, he's been there for her ever since they met in JC/Uni times. Your first love and the person whom you've set up a family with. No matter how sick she may be, it still hurts when she's gone.

I'm surprised that I've not cried immediately when Jian Hong msged. Think I kind of stared at my mobile for a while waiting for the news to sink in. Was supposed to do some work tonite, but I think there's more to life and prayers to be said than just to dig deep into work.

What should I say or do when we see Joe and the family tomorrow? I'm not sure. My mind's kinda in a mess but it cannot be worse than Joe's.

Take care Joe. Don't ever ever lose sight of what Amy has gone through with you, the family you have, and more importantly, the God who's understanding is far greater than yours.

Amy, thanks for being there to influence and guide my younger years. Pkg, Vien and my lives have been touched and enriched by your service and enduring love all these years. And I pray that you'll find the peace and joy which might have eluded you during this journey.

It's been exactly a week since I was msging Joe to catch up on the situation at home and Amy's health.. How things change over a matter of 1 week. Things seemed to hv worsened and the family's preparing for the worst.

Yup I've had my fair share of 2nd round of crying and I think be a wreck when it really happens. But the tears that we shed will never be the same as Joe's. My heart really goes out to Joe and the kids. When things in life seemed to hv falled right in place nicely. 2 lovely kids, warm family and a new place called home after waiting for 3years.. Then sucha bomb comes.

I've recently been starting to wonder what if it happens to me. A nagging thought behind me whispers that I've got all the wrong genes in the family and someday I'll end up either like grandpa or grandma. Ok I secretly hope it's grandpa's case of heart attack cos it was immediate. Well, it's a really morbid thought, but I think we all go through such moments in life when we space out.

Anyway, here I am sitting at my laptop supposed to do work but my heart tells me what's the purpose of this. Yet another part of me says that we need to put to practice what we've learnt frm Life @ Work - to do the best of our abilities as a worship to glorify God. Hmm, I shall just ponder for the next few moments deciding whether I shld start working on my report or just spend time chatting or just being around at home with the family..

Hv been whining and complaining more than usual lately about work. Things are piling up and everyone is stretched. So much to monitor, report, inspect etc.. But at times when I can step back and evaluate whether it is really that crappy work, I look back at the past when it was audit. The most horrendous time of my life. If not for the gd team that I've been, I'd probably not hv gone back after internship, or even lasted more than 6mths.

The kind of emotional stress of not meeting family and friends, just seeing your client and colleagues, struggling to stay chirpy even tho it's 11pm each nite was terrible. Working when you're hving jet lag and fever, and still balancing the stupid trial balance. Gross..

So here comes my internship senior asking whether I wanna join a new set up in financial advisory. I'm kinda scared out of my pants to go back there. Even advisory services isn't all that great. Yup the hours and overtime claims are better than mainstream audit, but you can't guarantee that you don't get seconded to other depts and clear crappy work. Boo..

Doubt I'll dare go back there. Besides, they're doing pay freeze and claming down on overtime claims. If I go back, probably get worse compensation package and a worse lifestyle. Eee... No no.. I'll endure whatever the current place give me and not go back to audit. Senior and Supervisor life there is worse worse than an Assistant.

No thanks, senior!

God's ways are higher than ours and sometimes it's hard to comprehend why He allows certain things to happen. When the world crumbles and looks so bleak before us, we wonder if there's light at the end of the tunnel. The good thing is that in His family, even if the light at the end seems so far away and unreachable, we still have family and friends holding candles to light up the place around us. To walk alongside us towards the end of the tunnel.

Whenever I think of Amy, I just feel like crying.. Met up with Xian and Serene, and we understood how things were when Xian and the band had a webcam session with Joe, Amy and the kids. Amy has shrunken a lot since the last we met her at her place. She's now left with skin and bones; her stomach cannot take any food and she keeps throwing up. Smsed Joe and heard that she's no longer mobile and very frail. She's only taking morphine and medication right now. The long marathon has also taken a toil on Joe and the rest of the family. On top of his daytime job, Joe's waking up several times a night to look after Amy and help with the injections. He's both physically tired and emotionally drained. Can even see it from his FB statuses.

Hv been msging Joe tonite becos I dn dare msg Amy (she's apparently very tired and sleeping 18hours on average). Can sense his weariness, and I don't really know what to say but just offer help when they need. Guess it's also hard for him because everyone in the family's too tired to handle any visitors, and the kids might not be familiar with the rest of us. But I'm sure at anytime he calls for help, the whole gang will come rallying around them.

Heard from Xian that the docs gave her 6mths when Amy was last operated on in Feb/March. Well, I just sat at my seat during lunch and stared at my soup. Kind of stunned for words or emotions right then.

It'll be wonderful if Amy can make it for John and Michelle's wedding.. I'm not even thinking of hoping that she'll come for ours, but at least she knows abt the gd news. We'll just wait upon the Lord and earnestly pray for His grace and mercy to be upon her..

Sometimes I wish we can read people's minds. It's so hard to guess what people are thinking. They may look ok on the outside but it's hard to tell if the currents under the surface are churning terribly. Really wish I had Jean Grey's powers..