Taking the train after so long. And with all the frequent train faults, I'm hoping I'll get to my destination smoothly. Weather's already "finding fault" with my going out, so I hope the transport system doesn't make it worse..

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Sometimes we complain about the maid going to the bathroom every hour. Well, maybe she really has weak bowels. But more often than not, I suspect it's just to retreat into a personal space. Mom also mentioned Ate was like this in the beginning.

Personal space is limited where we are now because there are 3 adults walking about the house everyday. I often retreat into the room to give everyone their personal space, hoping that I am able to bring Jon in with me for a one-on-one playtime. But I guess the first grandchild is like a super power magnet that attracts everyone. So one-on-one playtime and personal space are really rare treats. Hence I can totally emphatize with the maid, who is in a worst off state because she can't always retreat into her room when she has nothing to do since her room is also the diaper room, and all eyes are on her as to what she is doing at home. The bathroom is the best personal retreat sanctuary ever.

Since personal space is a treasured commodity (haha or at least to me), I tend to back off during the day and let everyone have their time with our super power magnet even though I really want to play with him. When he cries, everyone rushes to his side and I, as a mommy, just have to stand aside and let the rest care for him since they will be his main caregiver when I return to work. It looks and feels weird that a mommy is just standing aside to watch. Machiam I'm an irresponsible mommy that relies on others to care for the baby. It's not that I don't know how to look after Jon or that I'm lazy, but it's a deliberate attempt to bridge him to getting used to the main caregivers.

I'm still telling my brain that this is ok and let it be, though every single hour I struggle with it. Thoughts such as "oh dear, I heard my MIL say she was tired after pushing Jon on the pram with me last nite. Jon is getting heavier and her arms are tired. Yet how do I help her without offending her? She will always want to carry Jon even when I offer to help ease her load. Her shoulders and arms have been stretched and we need her to rest for the longer 'marathon'. How can I just stand there and watch her carry Jon?" And I don't want to appear like I'm "fighting" for the grandchild or depriving them of time with the boy. So I just retreat back into the room and find something to occupy myself with.

Hmm, I can hear Jon having his bath at the background. How I miss the daily morning bathtimes where I can sing to him and watch him smile back...

Jon flipped today!! Didn't manage to take a picture cos I didn't expect him to flip. Heh.. I was just observing him, thinking he wouldn't be able to flip successfully. Then tada! Flip.. Okay, his hands were a little stuck after the flip so I had to help position him comfortably.

Was telling MIL not to worry when Jon turns on the bed with his head arched back cos that was what I saw when Jon tried to flip. Also mentioned that sometimes can just help him lie on his belly to practice lifting his head. So I demo what we do in our room at night, and to my amazement, Jon held his head up high fora long time! Wheee!! Again, too slow to take picture cos MIL worried Jon's head to heavy for him to lift for a long time. So I had to flip him back. Well, at least he demo that he can do it! :) time to let him lie on belly occasionally..

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How can a person so small perspire so much? It's like every feeding session is a great sweat workout.

Sometimes I can't wait for Jon to turn 1 so that we can bring him for a short getaway nearby, say Cameron Highlands, Malacca, Krabi, Bandung etc. Hee hee..

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Our son really has an amazing ability to perspire. It was just about 5mins into his feeding session and he perspired enough for me to "style" his hair into a slick back style..! End up having to turn the fan on again. Champion!

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Comic moment of the day - Our room was dim tonite cos I switched to night light as part of Jon's bed time routine. Maid came to pass me a piece of clothing and I had a shock looking at her. Besides her usual yellow 'camo' looking cream that she puts on her cheeks and forehead, her eye brows were suddenly very very black and long! It's as if I saw Ru Hua from Stephen Chow's movies. Hope my face didn't give away my shock. Not sure if all these are some cosmetic routine from her country or something she's doing in prep for her New Year celebration. Never seen such things before and it was a shock. Not that I'm racist but I've really not seen such things before.

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Feels weird to be hearing Jon cry at the background, finding it hard to sleep with MIL carrying instead of suckling to sleep. Yet I can't go help becos we are training Jon to get used to me not being around. MIL wanted to pump Jon with milk but I told her need to start building up EBM bank for 18 May, else there won't be any available then. Shouldn't always just pump milk to drug him to sleep but train him to sleep on his own. Also told MIL that I mat start going out once every week to condition Jon that I may not always be around.

That's my logical brain reminding me what needs to be done. The emotional me then feels guilty cos I'm just leaving a crying baby with MIL. Reminded MIL to let me know if her body cannot take it so that I can take over and let her body rest. Feels a little strange at the beginning that I'm conditioning my child not to be with me.

Meanwhile I guess it's about tolerating Jon's fussing and crying during this adjustment period.

Anyway Jon seems to have finally slept after fussing and crying. Thank goodness I insisted not giving him milk and going with my gut that it wasn't a "I want milk cry". Also mentioned briefly to MIL that Jon may keep crying this period and it's not a hungry cry. Hope that it was casual enough and didn't come across as a "lecture".

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Try something different - listen to happening music using ear phones while nursing Jon. Haha in that way, I can listen to stuff without disturbing Jon. Heh..

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This afternoon is a nightmare. Gave Jon 120ml to test how long he can last. But experiment completely failed cos he still needed to suckle to sleep. Only maid and me at home, so when I carried Jon, he would cry with his tongue at the roof of his mouth indicating he wanted to suckle. I think if it was someone else carrying him, he would have just slept. Anyway, so I ended up letting him suckle cos he refused all other means like pacifier, rocking, swinging on the bed.

He dozed off within 5mins of suckling. Then I unlatched him and saw that he didn't stir before I went on to express in the other room. Sigh. I haven't even hit 10ml and he cried. Had to hurriedly stop everything and go carry him.

Again he refused everything. So I thought maybe let him suckle again. But he kept unlatching himself. Hmm this seems to be how he is when he wanted to be burped a couple of nights back. Okay, so I carried him up to burp. With the diaper cloth still on the bed to act as a protector for our bed, I lifted him up to begin burping. And to my horror, our little rascal burped and pooped at the instant when I lifted him. The poop somehow leaked from his diaper onto all of my shorts and shirt, and also onto both the diaper cover and bits of our bed! Aaahhhhhh!!!!

Of course have to quickly clean everyone up and get maid to change bed sheets. So scramble and call for help to change bed sheets while I settle Jon and myself.

The other room was like a war zone. Milk expressing machine with the 2 bottles still on the table, I had to put a baby that is full of poop on his diaper table and scramble for new diapers and diaper cover. Then ran into my own room to get my clothes cos I couldn't change him if I was soo soiled. Okay, so change the adult and used baby wipe to clean away all the poop that seeped through my clothes onto my body. Thereafter clean the dirty baby backside. Threw my adult clothes on the floor and baby clothes in the baby laundry basket so that I had space to wipe the dirty backside. Ah ha, then our curious little Bacon came to smell all the dirty items, including the waste paper basket. I think I was a basket case, cos here I am cleaning dirty backside and shouting at Bacon to move away and not eat things in the waste paper basket. My hairband all lose and hair hanging in drips and drabs around my face. I looked and felt like a nut case.

Okay, so when everyone was clean, I had to help maid take our bed sheets cos it was in MIL's cupboard which she cannot anyhow open. Did that and went back to Jon, hoping to coax him back to sleep.

Again all failed and he was smiling at me, as if laughing at the adults scrambling after him. *faints* dunno to laugh or be angry with him. Cannot sleep right, so let me get back to my unfinished 'express' business. AGAIN, haven't really finish pumping and he's crying the whole roof down for someone to carry him and nurse him back to sleep. Aaahhh!

Don't care. Let him cry a bit more while I keep the bottle of milk in freezer. The house was really like a war zone with the background of 'baby-cry-type gunshots', and maid in toilet frantically trying to wash off poop on bed sheet, adult clothes and baby clothes..

As I'm blogging this, Jon is happily suckling himself to sleep while I'm catching my breath and trying to regain composure after the afternoon "battle".

Hmm I hope I have time for a quick toilet break. Don't dare to bathe until grandparents are back to help sooth the "cry warrior"..

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Haha this looks so girlie. But I'm quite bored while nursing him so I just did a random photo on the phone..

Aiyoh I've been nursing Jon using the lying down position since 1pm. While I think he did drink some milk, I'm not sure if it was enough cos I can hear his stomach growling. Yet our dear boy is so tired that he's sleeping despite a growling stomach. He didn't really go into deep sleep just now and was woken up by various noises such as the helicopter. Had to nurse him again to coax him to sleep at 3pm. Hopefully he is more well rested. Shall change his diapers and feed him again when he wakes up later.

Ahhh Bacon woke Jon up just when I put Jon on the bed to sleep.. Why must he bark at the maid when she's asking me about lunch arrangements. Alamak, no time to coax Jon back to sleep cos I'm having stomache. Just let Jon lie on the bed first..

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Heavenly Father, thank you for watching over Jonathan and blessing us wonderfully over these past 3 mths. Thank you that Jon is a strong and healthy baby. We continue to pray that You help him grow physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. May he be a godly person; one whom You would be pleased with and one who is after Your heart. Even though he is only 3 mth old today, Father I pray for his future family. We entrust all things unto Your hands. Grant him a godly wife that is exemplified in Proverbs 31, and mould him to be the godly husband and father that You want him to be. For Pete and myself, grant us Your wisdom to nurture Jon according to Your ways. Where we sin Lord, may we repent and teach us the right way. Help us to model ourselves after You so that we also set good examples for Jon (and our future kid). Father, we don't just look to You for the past 3 mths but depend on You everyday of our lives. Thank You for Your bountiful blessings even though we do not deserve them. Amen!

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Alamak.. I went to the loo with constipation and had to cut short 'my time' cos the boy was wailing for milk and refused to be consoled by his grandparents..

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Yikes, I have a sudden urge to poop but Jon is still nursing. Ahhhh.... I'm trying hard to "swallow" up the "cake" becos I can't stop Jon from drinking.. Besides, breaking the momentum now means taking a much longer time to coax him to have his post-bathtime nap. Tahan tahan!!

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Dunno to laugh or be angry with Jon. He cried cos couldn't sleep soundly at 2pm. So we thought of bathing him since we didn't do so this morning due to the rain. But Jon kept drifting back to sleep. So end up not bathing him and MIL carrying Jon to sleep. Though it's disruptive in a way cos we still haven't bathed the sweaty boy, he JS actually right on schedule for his weekday routine - I.e. take a second nap at around 2pm. Haha! Hmm so I should be happy that he switches back to his own routine right? Lol..

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Hmm I think 4mths is the max I can go without working. Sometimes super bored at home, other times very fun playing and looking after Jon. I guess being a full time homemaker won't be so boring cos there would be household chores and cooking to do since there's no help. Now that there's so much help at home, we can see that everyone is finding something to do to occupy themselves. Haha and most of the time, everyone's trying to help look after Jon to occupy time. Haha! Which is good in a sense cos there will be people talking to Jon and stimulating him.

So it's back to enjoying the quiet moments when Jon is sleeping and I can watch TV properly. Tsk tsk.. Hee hee..

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Went to office this afternoon to repair my laptop. Also my first so called attempt at leaving home for 'work' and leaving Jon at home. Didn't really keep thinking of Jon when I was in office becos caught up with trying to find out what went wrong with my laptop and understanding the follow-up actions to be taken. But I couldn't help but think of Jon and Dearie once I left office. Hee hee.. Also thought of them when my boobies felt like they had to be pumped. Muahaha! Sounds damn gross but I can't control how my brain associates these things with family! :P

I wonder how will I 'survive' work come 18 May.. I think I'll call home (like I did just now) to check on Jon. Probably only temporarily 'forget' about him if it's really busy at work. Lol..

On the bus home to the little boy who has been good to Granny by sleeping for an hour after milk! :) :) :) then to welcome dearie when he returns from work this evening!

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I've forgotten how slow computers used to be until I turned on the spare PC at home (which I'm currently using for this blog entry). It's really testing my patience having to wait and wait for everything to load at snail's pace.. the outcome of our fast paced society where telcos are now promoting fibre optic broadband services. Well, at least using the big PC eases the strain on my eyes since office laptop is spoilt. Slow but boh pian..

Somehow time passes quite slowly everyday between lunchtime and 4pm. Everything at home is SLOW and QUIET... I also feel bad cooping myself in the room to watch TV, so I make my 'rounds' by going to the kitchen to fill up my bottle (yes, I've been doing water parade everyday just to increase milk supply. Never drank so much water in my life ever. Haha!)

Anyway, I decided to give myself a break and arrange for the long-awaited facial appointment for next week. Do something different during the week. Haha! Hopefully I can pump enough EBM to store so that Jon can drink while I'm away. I'm also planning to be diligent and bring the pump out with me cos facials tend to be long and I might have to express once I'm done with facial. Haha, I've planned ahead and even surfed the net to check if Somerset 313 has nursing rooms for pumping - there's only one and doesn't seem to have gd reviews. Well, I'll go Somerset if it's available, else it's back to my favourite ones at ION Orchard (so spacious and has everything)

Hmm, lemme see which websites I should visit during this window period before Jon wakes up.. Tata!

Check out Jon's long lashes! Pretty!!

An excerpt from a very good book a friend bought for me.. Totally agree with what the author wrote!

Clothe Jonathan with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

-Colossians 3:12-

I must blog this - I just saw Jon's shocked look when he saw my hair up close. Haha it's as if he hasn't seen my long hair before. So cute!

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Oh no, our boy has not slept for the whole day! He's having so much difficulty falling into deep sleep. I hope God answers my prayers and let him sleep soon and that he will sleep soundly..

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Such a noisy afternoon.. Renovation, cutting of grass, falling trees etc.. Poor Jon has not been able to sleep and so cranky. Might just let him sleep on my chest for a longer time..

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Looking back at the past months (from pregnancy to delivery, and now looking after Jon for 9 weeks), I realise how important it is to have a close walk with Christ. There's nothing humans can do about life. No matter how intelligent or well-informed we may be, there is a huge limitation to our abilities. But not with God.

How did Jonathan come to being? It's not by our actions, but God allowing it to happen. It never fails to amaze me as I wonder how did a single cell transform into a life form that can smile, cry and interact with us. Isn't God amazing?

While it can be stressful at times trying to decipher Jon's cries and meet his needs, I think the journey thus far has made me grow. The maternity leave has provided windows of opportunities to go back to Scripture, prayer and listening to God. From praying for little thing such as "God help Jon to sleep within the next 15mins so that we can all sleep", to slightly bigger things like "God please increase my milk supply to meet Jon's growing needs", to even bigger things like "God, watch over Jon's physical, mental, spiritual and intellectual development. Help him to be a happy person, who loves God and the people around him."

I don't really expect Jon to completely look after Pork Chop and I when we grow old because the world will be a different place, and life will get more challenging for the next generation. I just pray that we can be self-sufficient elderly, surrounded by a warm and loving family, and that our children will be God-fearing and righteous. But before we even get there, my prayer is that God grants such much wisdom, strength and patience to nurture this "gift of God" (i.e. Jon) in His ways. We will be dutiful in planting and entrust the 'growing' in God's hands.

1 Corinthians 3:6-7

Fill us with the knowledge of Your will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that we may live a life worthy of You and may please You in every way; bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of you, Lord. (Colossians 1:9-10)

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Yeah! God is amazing and answering my prayers almost immediately! I've seen the first few drops of let-down thar I've not seen for the last couple of feeds! Whoohoo!!!

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It's a little frightening and nerve wrecking to wake up one day and find your milk supply dwindle to almost a zilch. It's tough to persist latching with a squirming baby that is getting more impatient with the slow and low milk flow. I pray that God restores my milk supply as I really want to BF Jon for as long as I can. I'll do and eat anything to have a strong and established milk supply. And I'm also staying positive that in due course, my milk flow would be re-established :) So for now, it's persistence and trust that God will make it happen. Amen!

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Gosh our son is so awake. He's up at 8am and I don't have a chance to catch up on my sleep after waking up since 2 plus this morning. Pork chop also didn't sleep well becos Jon was noisy. Hope Jon wld sleep well tonite so that both of us can rest better..

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Airing his hands cos they kind of stink. Might be due to keeping his hands in the mitten all day. Can let him be without mittens while feeding since I can readily stop him from scratching himself.

Yay, experiment #2 worked yesterday and Jon slept for almost 2 hours. I'm hoping he'll sleep longer this afternoon. Rainy weather so it's nice and cosy for him to be tucked under his blanket in the cot. Naptime clock started counting at 2pm.. :)

Experiment #1 failed - only had less than 5mins of sleep. Jon woke himself up again.

Experiment #2 - Mommy nurse Jon. It's usually a sure fire way but mommy cannot unlatch Jon..

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Tried a different pacifier to see if it helps him sleep. Experiment #1 - Tollyjoy stage 1 pacifier.

Keeping my fingers crossed..

Alamak, Jon seems to like to nurse to sleep. He doesn't sleep using other means. I'm trying to 'wean' him a bit so that he can sleep on his own so that MIL won't have problems looking after him when I return to work. So it's like cold turkey and don't let him nurse to sleep. Here I am feeling guilty in the room while MIL is walking around the house with Jon in her arms, trying to make him sleep. Dilemma as to whether to help her or just condition Jon to get used to me not being around all the time. What should I do.. Alamak, he keeps crying..

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Had a girls night out yesterday to celebrate Pkg's birthday. As always, nice catching up with the girls :)

But was so sad when I came home to find Jon crying so terribly and unable to sleep. He didn't sleep well in the daytime and things didn't seem to improve in the night. Everyone tried all means to soothe him and I kept feeding him thinking he is hungry. Poor boy still kept crying until he was tired and knocked out at 2am. :(

Heart pain to see him wail while we look on helplessly after exhausting all means to soothe him. Was also trying to keep the noise out so that Pork Chop could sleep. Then I also got upset at myself towards 1am or so cos he kept feeding, sleeping at my chest, spit up and cry for me to nurse him. And we would repeat this cycle many times. Very terrible night.

I hope Jon would feel better today. Am nursing him now and he's falling asleep on my chest again. Sigh.. In a dilemma when to bathe him when he's less cranky...

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Just when I said Jon is finally asleep, Bacon has to bark non-stop until Jon screams awake. Sigh. Why can't Bacon stop barking after I tell him to stop??

Thinking about Bacon and Jon.. I'm having serious second thoughts about bringing Bacon over to our new place because it is likely a time when Jon is learning how to crawl and walk. Hence Jon will often be on the floor, or have his hands touch the floor. It'll be problematic because Bacon's fur and saliva will be all over the floor as well.

It wouldn't be as big a headache if Bacon can be locked up for long periods in his own space like Mudpie, because we can then "segregate" Bacon and Jon so that Jon can crawl/walk around and practice his motor skills at home. I'm not very keen to 'lock' Jon up in his own room so that he can crawl/walk because he needs to be accustomed to and learn his boundaries in the house (e.g. cannot touch certain things, run into kitchen without watching out for any hot soup).

Sigh.. Not sure if it's also feasible to leave Bacon at the current place while we move to the new house.

All these thoughts about Bacon is not because I don't like him, but it's a real concern. Besides, there has been cases of babies having pet fur in their mouths at that age because they tend to either put things into their mouths or put their own hands into their mouths; inevitably swallowing some pet fur which subsequently cause health problems.

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Wow, I finally managed to log into blogger using the website and not post via iPhone. Haha had some free time to change the blogskin cos l'ill Jon's asleep.

Funny how I can't seem to coax Jon to sleep but my MIL can. The only way I can coax him to sleep is to let him suckle his way to lalaland. Hmm, probably it is how Jon associates me with suckling to sleep or feeding.

Our lives linked to one another for life

I'm sitting at a corner of my bed peeking at Jonathan toss around in his bed. Don't wanna go near as he will cry for attention once he sees me. I'm perfectly fine with him just making small noises in his cot. Only pick him up later when he gets more angry and change his diapers at the same time. :)

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Our little darling is so cute when he sleeps. Fat cheeks too!

Million dollar question: why is it difficult for babies to sleep on their own?

I've been coaxing Jon for the past 3hours with all methods I know. Let him suckle, rock and sing to him, give him a pacifier, drain his energy by letting him "talk" to me. Nothing works. He would sleep on my chest after suckling and wake up from his nightmare almost immediately after putting him in the cot. I've also tahan and let him suckle for past 2 plus hours until I'm hurting now. Acks. Give up and let MIL carry him after I went to kitchen trying to wash the pacifier while holding a crying baby. Hopefully Jon doesn't 'smell' me since it's MIL carrying him and he would sleep soon. Jon's tired but can't seem to fall into deep sleep. I hope things would improve soon cos it's already past midnight; way past normal bedtime for babies. God help us :)

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Record amount of milk I've pumped in less than 10mins: a total of 70ml! Woohoo! Thank God for answered prayers!! :) :) :)

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Feel so shitty as a mother. Baby keep crying and we can't seem to soothe him. And I feel like it's always my fault that baby is crying hysterically. How much milk is enough? I don't know. Why baby refuses to drink and thereafter cry for milk like I deprived him of a feed? I also don't know. I just sustain myself by praying everyday that hopefully today will be better and that I can have things under control and not have baby cry and frighten everyone, especially the old folks. I wonder if I will regret to say this but I do at times wish that baby is at a age that can talk and express his needs. Then I know how to soothe and help him develop. Anyhow I just feel damn shitty about myself and I think blogging is the seemingly only way of letting it out. I don't dare cry to let it out so that everyone around me need not worry or get irritated with me. Back to my office life slogan when it gets tough - suck it up..

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Compare my tiny little feet against mommy's palm!

Ahh I can't stop playing with Jonathan's feet! They are so small n cute!! :D

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I'm so biased but our son is so cute, especially when he's sound asleep!! :D

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Dear Lord, pls help Jonathan to sleep soundly everyday and not to be awoken in shock or cry in the middle of his sleep. Grant him good rest so that he can grow healthily and be a happy baby. This we pray daily in Jesus' name, Amen.

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So frustrating! Why does he keep crying for comfort? I've tried all e 'soft methods' so using the 'hard method' now and ignore his crying lest he uses that to demand his way in future. So I closed the door not to disturb my in-laws but well they heard the cries. They came to the room and I didn't open the door else it spoils the intention of training Jonathan that he cannot demand things with his cries. I think my in-laws thought I was I'll-treating the grandson. Opened the door after 10mins to sterilize the pacifier and explain that we cannot always respond to each cry or carry him immediately becos this is not sustainable in the long run, especially if I'm back at work and the 'human pacifier' is not around. Well, the 'hard method' finally worked and Jonathan is wide awake but lying on his bed quietly. I'm just waiting for him to slp..

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So proud of my Pork Chop for being a wonderful coach to me when I'm having the blues, and also for being an amazing Dad to our little one. From swaddling, cradling, bathing to feeding little Jon, Pork Chop can do it all :) so thankful that my hubby is way better than most others.

The past week has been full of surprises. From adjusting to new responsibilities as a parent, to breastfeeding woes, sleepless nights, to the joys of witnessing how amazing God's creation is (I.e. our son Jonathan).

Even though he can drive us nuts with his endless cries and screams, these can be forgotten as easily as when his mouth twitches into a smile or when he shows us his 'milk-drugged look' after a feed.

I guess it is a matter of getting into the groove and continuous learning of Jon's needs/wants, cries for help vs cries for attention before we will find even more satisfaction and meaning to our sleep depravation. I shall remember what Michelle said - when the baby eventually smiles back at you, everything is worth it.

God grant us much love, patience and faith in our parenthood! :)

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Jonathan, are u coming out soon? I've been going to e loo twice - with a 2.5hr gap in between. Is this a certain pattern that is a sign of your arrival? Jialat.. I can't tell becos my tummy doesn't really hurt THAT bad.. Can't be my fish soup lunch that is making me visit the toilet ever so often rite... :|

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While we have quite serious problems with our nation'a public transport system, it doesn't mean people should take out their anger at innocent bus drivers.

Two days in a row that I've seen bus drivers being scolded (or some might say verbally abused). Yesterday, a driver turned off the air con for a while becos a passenger said the temperature was too cold and the bus driver could only turn it off as he couldn't adjust the temp. Thereafter another passenger came and scolded the driver for suffocating him by not turning the air con on. Poor driver tried to explain but the passenger just didn't listen and got upset. Today, another poor driver had to get people to move in a crowded bus else the automatic sensors at the door would detect a human and not let him close the door. Ignorant passengers didn't listen to him and just stood where the sensor was, and the doors couldn't close for a while.

Sometimes I really think we, as passengers, ought to be reasonable and fair. Certain things are beyond the poor person's control, so don't vent your frustrations on him/her just because he/she is wearing a uniform bearing the company logo which you dislike.

I think people are really not considerate and ungracious these days. If not for the fact that I'm heavily pregnant and likely to fall in the bus, I would have given up my seat to either of the two old persons that have been standing near me. Others around me are just blind - Singapore's one of the nations with high myopia, but I think we should classify them as blind (or socially blind). How can you not see these two elderly folks standing for so long?! Even if you are glued to your smart phones or gadgets, surely you can see them from the corner of your eyes!!

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Little Jonathan, Mommy concludes that you like to move and find yourself some space whenever I sit down. Haha! Mommy's tummy not giving you enough space huh? ;)

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Hmm the strange numb feeling on my left thigh is back. Felt it for the first time yesterday at home and it came back today during lunch.. :S hope it's nothing wrong

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Jonathan, haha are your exercising in mommy's tummy today? You have been moving and kicking for the past 3hours.. Time to take break and rest yah. Mommy also needs to rest and not keep seeing her belly twitch so abruptly. :) but that said, it's nice to know you are having fun inside my belly too!

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Of all days that the office toilet runs out of toilet paper and/or is clogged up when I'm having bad tummy ache. Arghh!

Dear Jonathan, mommy thinks you are growing well and squeezing my bowels more actively. Haha I don't really know whether to be happy that you are taking up a lot of space in my tummy and making me visit the toilet ever so often. :P

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Thank God for His many blessings each day!! :D Dear and I got our HDB ballot number last nite and this morning two kind Samaritans helped me navigate thru a packed train to a seat that one of them gave up for me. Hee hee.. Feel so blessed and well looked after by God. PTL!!

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Junior! You are weighing 1.2kg today and doc says you are growing well. Yay!! :) Dad and I have also decided on naming you Jonathan as you are a gift from God. May you grow to be strong in faith, a person of wisdom and righteousness, a man of strength, mercy and love. Can't wait to hold you in our arms!! :) :)

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Haha I'm on MC today and turning on YouTube to play Sunday school songs hoping Junior can hear them. Haha! I'm even sourcing websites where I can download the songs and burn into a CD for him to play at home or in e car next time. Lol.. I'm thinking too far ahead.. But I'm still secretly hoping he can hear the songs that I've been humming to myself :P

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Junior! Yay we saw you again last Friday! Haha you cheeky little fella, kept staying in your comfortable position and hide your face from Daddy and Mommy..

Anyway, everyone is very excited about your arrival! Both your grandmas have taken out all the baby clothes, bought you things like books (even though it'll be a while more before you can read). Haha!

Next time when Daddy talks to you or puts his hand on Mommy's belly, give a good twitch or kick to let Daddy feel yah. :)

Continue growing healthily, normally and happily in Mommy's ever-growing belly yah. Remember to talk to God in your own way too.

Xoxoxoxo,
Daddy & Mommy

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Junior! I can feel u move and kick for the first time today! Haha no longer mistaking your kicks for my growling stomach :P let Daddy feel u kick some day too okie? Love u and continue growing healthily, normally and growing in fear of God yah :)

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Miss the length of my hair during the period of our Bali photoshoot. We looked so radiant and non-tired.. Hair, grow back!!

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Envious of people wearing nice fitting dresses... I also want but I look so mum-sy now.. Bleah.. Emo emo...

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God, thank You for watching over Junior, helping him/her develop properly in the womb. Pray that Your hand continue to be over Junior, help him/her grow strong, normally and properly. Grant Dear and I wisdom that comes from You to know how to care and bring up this gift You've bestowed. Pray that Junior will grow to be a person that loves You dearly and loves the people around him/her. :) Amen!

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Junior, u better absorb more food from me today. Ate lunch, have a farewell muffin and I'm going for dept tea in a short while. Haha, absorb more so that you grow and not I grow alone :P

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Junior, we saw you on the ultrascan yesterday! So amazing. Cld see u swimming, moving and stretching inside me. God's creation is amazing :) continue to grow healthily, properly and become a person after God's heart k! We will see u again in 3wks time. Hopefully u are bigger and show more 'stunts' when we see u!

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Junior, do you not like tea with milk? How come you react so quickly after I drank it and make me go toilet?? I've already totally abstained from kopi. =)

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Being pregnant doesn't mean I'm an invalid. I still can do simple chores that are not strenuous. Don't treat me too nicely cos it feel darn weird and at times frustrating. I cannot possibly just sit around and eat all day. I'm not a pig to be beefed up and then sent to a slaughter house. I still need to move an exercise. At this rate I'm going, doc will say I'm unfit and I need to do simple work more often. Feel so stifled. Trying to make myself transparent cos I have to stand around and watch others do the simple chores for me, as if I'm an invalid and can't do a single thing. Pls treat me normally..

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Oh man, so suay. Eat breakfast also meet my auditee. Haha think they panicked and thought I'm back at their office today.

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Shucks I'm like having a junk food and potato chip craving all the time. Even after I took some Indonesian tapioca chips from Florence this afternoon. Bad fats bad fats..

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Shouldnt have taken bus 106. It winds a longer route..

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To my dearest dearest hubby who makes my morning journey to work ever enjoyable, comfortable and easy: 谢谢, arigato, gum xia, merci, danke. *muacks!*

I hope u are reading this soon ;)

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We go way way back to Pri 5 days

Long time buddies since Sec 1 days

It's been a long time since I took the long journey back to Boon Lay station. Almost forgot how painful and arduous the journey can be. I'm so tired, hungry and just plain brain dead. And I continue looking forward to the day I develop superhuman powers to teleport myself.. *poof!*

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Ops I realized some typo error in my post on Milk Toof.. The characters are Lardee and Ickle! Lardeeee.... Wheeee...

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Toof bath time!

I love My Milk Toof a lot... Soo adorable! Larder and Ickle!

Yet again some inconsiderate people who can't seem to hold e lift door open for the slew of people trying to get on. Still don't help tap the access pass so that everyone else can press the lift button for their floor. Fed up. Spoil my morning. Already lugging the friggin heavy laptop around..

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So tired.. Work late everyday and still have tons to do.. How how how?

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Other than my hubby and the guys in my family (yay!), I think most Singaporean guys are ungentlemanly. They just rush towards the bus exit once they sense you are making your way out of your seat to alight. Else they don't hold the lift door open for colleagues who try to get into the lift, and rest of us girls must help to hold the lift door. What's wrong with these people.. *faints*

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Saw a car stopping in it's lane to let an ambulance change lanes but a very inconsiderate n impatient van driver started horning at e car. What's wrong with people! Can't they see that it's an ambulance for goodness sake? The ambulance's flashing lights and siren are turned on!!

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Some people are just so atas. Cannot eat normal food court type or hawker centre food.. Haha I'm on save money for my honeymoon plan so eat cheap!

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iTODAY: Woman dies after injection to her buttocks at American hotel

Seriously, why would anyone want butt augmentation?! 

From iTODAY:Woman dies after injection to her buttocks at American hotel

| Feb 10, 2011 6:00 AM

A 20-year-old woman who had a cosmetic injection in her buttocks died early on Tuesday, prompting a police investigation.

Detectives said the woman and three companions travelled from London and were staying at the Hampton Inn in south-west Philadelphia.

Two of them had their buttocks enlarged in November and, on Monday, one received another injection while the other had a hip augmentation.

Paramedics were called when the woman later complained of chest pains and trouble breathing. She was taken to the Mercy Fitzgerald Hospital where she died.

The police are seeking two people involved in the cosmetic procedures, which were believed to have been arranged over the Internet. AP

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iTODAY: Chewing gum, now with vitamins and herbs

This sounds strange..

From iTODAY:Chewing gum, now with vitamins and herbs

| Feb 10, 2011 6:00 AM

Beyond tasting good and freshening breath, chewing gum today increasingly promises dental benefits, such as whitening and strengthening teeth.

Some brands like Extra and Orbit even carry seals of approval from the American Dental Association for helping to reduce cavities.

Now two brands, Stride and Trident, both from Cadbury, are including ingredients with vitamins and ginseng in their products.

Each piece of Stride Spark provides 25 per cent of the recommended daily allowance of the vitamins B-6 and B-12.

Vitality, a Trident sub-brand, has flavours with Vitamin C, ginseng, mint and white tea. The New York Times

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I can't wait for our honeymoon in Espanol (hmm did I spell it right?)

Tapas, Gaudi, Spanish fest!!

Another 2 months before we fly off :) :) :)

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Feel like an Ah Lian, listening to Like A G6. Tsk tsk.. It has e ability to make me wake up in e mornings

Oh btw, so shiok that this is CNY eve and no one seems to be at work or school! Trains so empty and the air is filled with anticipation to leave work early so that one can head home for reunion dinner. Sweet..

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It's so strange seeing an Ang Moh speak perfect Singlish

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Sigh, I'm like extremely frustrated this morning and trying to bottle my frustration becos it's not nice for ppl to know. Why why why am I spending time on seemingly less critical matters? Argh. Why cant we be forthcoming with people? I hate second guessing people's thoughts. Argh. Just suck it up and push forward.

If I'm a less responsible person, I may be happier like other people..

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Yay it's Christmas again!! My favorite holiday of the year.. Wish that one day I can spend Christmas in US or Europe - have a taste of how Christmas is like in other countries.

Anyway that aside, I've been thinking about Christmas and what it means. I've been finding myself getting caught up in getting presents; whether for close ones or to 'return an obligation'. Am I missing the whole point when as Christians we are supposed to celebrate and focus on God's sacrifice of dwelling among us, sinners? How do we strike a balance between reflecting on the real meaning of Christmas and enjoying the joys of shopping and festive celebration?

My DG has two baptisms this Christmas and my office colleague also recently had hers. For each of them, I hope this is very special to em. Having gone through quite a bit to convince their parents about being a Christian, or just having the guts to proclaim their face despite the real challenges of facing the consequence of family rejection and disapproval, I admire them for their courage and fire. I only pray that this fire doesn't die out as they journey on this path with Jesus, to remember this fire they once had when facing difficult questions about their faith some day down the road.

Press on Joy, Ivy and Wansin!!

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Gosh I am over welcomed with sleepiness and tiredness..

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I've never been so tired for an extended period of time. Even audit during peak period (which was practically my entire 1yr there), wasn't so bad. The intensity during the day is just tremendous. It's killing all my appetite for proper meals and frying my brains into ashes. I know it's probably unprofessional to complain in a public domain like a blog, but I reckon only my dear reads and not my bosses so this is still a 'safe' space to 'unbottle' my frustrations.

Today was bad. Got scolded twice and just plain rushing n rushing. I've sighed heavily for countless times. My dearest colleague who is usually the most optimistic girl among the lot also almost cried when we were discussing work. She also almost cried in front of her own superior during staff appraisal. Sigh...

I tear but nowadays it just dries up in office. No more blood or tears to shed. Capacity running low..

Where is the light at the end of the tunnel... I feel like those Chilean miners stuck in a dark hole wondering when will we ever see the day.

Think it's better for everyone that I unbottle in the cyberspace so that ears are spared from all these sob stories.

I really hope that there is truth in 明天会更好..

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Pissed pissed pissed. Bugged by everyone in office for work which are all considered urgent at the same time, attending to calls consecutively, responding to tons of emails... Even got shoved around and stepped on while taking public transport. So tired and brain dead. ROAR! I hope this is the end of the worst day of my wk!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot take it anymore!!!

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Sigh, just lead a very difficult topic on righteousness at my DG and had someone sit in to observe. It was so tough trying to manage the grp, keeping it relevant and juggling with the extra pair of eyes from an observer. Tough tough. It felt like a wasted session becos ppl didn't seem engaged and the message was not put across. Argh.. Having YT around is much better to balance off the dynamics..

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What do you do when faced with a situation that you know someone and find that they are not doin their work properly? Keep mum and hope someone else notices ad thus be politically correct, or what? Hmm....

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