Strangely, it took a bus driver to realise I wasn't smiling and staring into space the whole journey back. Had got on the bus listening to music, so didn't notice that the bus driver was trying to talk to me until sth caught the corner of my eye. Well, I took off my earphones and chatted briefly with her; talking about things like how our city life has made us all tired. Everyone's going home late, spending less time at home and just repeating our cycles travelling to and from work.

Hmm although this wasn't exactly what I was mulling about on my journey home, this is one of the topics parked somewhere in my head which I think about when alone. Guess this is how I keep my brain active - thinking about things all the time.

Anyway what I was actually doing was re-playing what I had done (notice how I'm not using the word "accomplish) the past 24 hours. Wonder if I'm just a digit or figure of existence in the world or in people's lives. The world moves on without you, people can continue their lives without you. Not much difference whether or not you're around. Hmm I suppose this might be a little different for family, loved ones and close friends. But by and large, this is probably quite true. Which is why our real worth is not as a person on this earth but as a child of God.

Random thought: it brings me much joy to see children smile and laugh cos these are from the bottom of their heart. Just smile when you feel like smiling, frown when you feel like it. Not like how adults are; having to contain sometimes your frustration, smiling when you really feel like just giving a blank look. Nah, am just in a melancholic mode recently.

Might just take a day off to space out on my own. Go ECP, Botanic Gardens or just stroll along some park (if I know how to get there). That said, I'm sure I'll never get down to doing it becos I keep procrastinating my leave-taking. Gee, I really shld subscribe to my colleague's belief in taking quarterly breaks to refresh myself. Meanwhile, I'll space out in my dreams..

Irritating SQ website is not working when I want to redeem miles for the coming Bali trip. Grr... Why must it not work now? Sucha bad timing..

Anyway I'm so looking forward to holidays. Hmm maybe I shld make it a point to go for annual trips - regional or not regional. Just go somewhere to unwind. After Bali will be Spain/Greece! Found another kaki with same travelling pattern and hostel-loving kind. Haha!

Ok, back to trying my luck with stupid SQ website.. :(

Wow, just realised how loooonnngg ago was the last blog entry. Yep, working peeps don't hv much time or even energy to blog. Besides, our lives are boring. Like hamsters going through the routine of life - wake up, get to work, take lunch, work again, get home, sleep (repeat).

Must start thinking of holiday and psyching myself up cos as it is, my horizon looks endlessly dull. Haha. Need to think of work in little packets like how Jonathan does it - work hard and dive hard (only that I can't dive).

Hmm, I'll dream abt my exotic holiday for a start in lala land first. Then I'll try making it happen in time to come. Heh.. Not thinking of going Germany tonite after hearing Pete's 'sausage-making' story. Yikes...

Having hiccups like nobody's business after talking to Pete over the phone just a minute ago. Feeling like a baby that needs burping after a meal. Anyone to burp me? Haha, kidding. But seriously, this bout of hiccups is driving me crazy. 30 seconds haven't passed without a hiccup. No matter how much I drink or the old wives' tale of trying to hold my breath, that loud "hic!" is still around. Gosh.. Oh well, I'll just watch silly Ch5 programmes and wish that the hiccups disappear in no time.

Had quite an eventful journey from church to Marina Square today. Was on the road towards Marina via the CBD area, where I had to inch closely to some p-plate car with a whole load of teenage guys. Because of the road works outside Lau Par Sat, I had to inch closer to that car in front of me so that the van behind wouldn't be stuck in a middle of a traffic light junction. Yup, there I was trying to be nice n inching slowly until one of the young pucks stuck his middle finger out of the car window and at me. Grr... There I was behind some young punks and in my van with Dora. We were both shocked. Irritating young boys..

Not only young boys who can be irritating, old men can be too. Well, I made my way safely to Marina Square and was inside the car park trying to find a lot. Got lucky and found a lot but due to space constraints I had to squeeze at a corner so that the previous car could exit. I was reversing and trying to get into the lot safely when some old uncle just zoomed straight in and took my lot. I was appalled. Dora sat beside me wondering why I didn't horn that bugger or even scolded him. Well I guess I didn't wanna pick up a fight - quite typical of me. So I end up suffering by having to turn around the carpark again and again for another 15-20mins because of this lot that someone snatched from me. Grr.. Old men!

Sigh, boys of all ages can drive you up the wall. Sometimes being nice just allows myself to be taken for a ride. Hrumph!

Anyway back home and facing 2 teenage boys at home. Thankfully they're engaged in their respective computer games and not bothering me. Haha, good that they are rather quiet.

Hmm went for the long-awaited gathering w Qinlei last night. Rou already had some bday celebration with her friends, so by the time she ended (which was like 12.30am) we told her not to come cos Indochine was abt to close.

Anway so I still owe Qinlei a gathering at Timbre cos gun-cheong spider me thought it wld rain cos it started drizzling while we were in the queue. Yup, so we left and ended up at Orchard shopping n makan-ing.

I picked up all the nice dresses and asked her to try n show me. Grr... she kept avoiding the topic. Keep walking away frm me. Wong Qinlei, you better wear one n lemme see!

And she gave me the biggest bomb on our way back - asked me to drive her mom's car cos she was a bit groggy after drinking. I freaked out completely. Didn't dare look at her while I was driving. Eyes all peeled on the road. Thank goodness the roads were v quiet the whole journey back. And she was right to lemme drive cos there the traffic police was on the road summoning another guy for speeding. Hahah slow coach me trotted along at 70km/h the whole way back.

Anyway driving the car was quite funny. When we first left the carpark, I cldn't adjust to the sensitivity of her brakes and ended up doing a pseudo-E brake. Hahah she laughed at me and I panicked. Thankfully I managed to get a sense of it quite quickly. But my gawd, I was so scared the whole way home.

Hmm my arms are aching frm gym. Shall stop typing n put on the deep heat frm Pete. Pain pain.. Feels like I'm going back to rugby training n worse. Only that the gym instructor is a tad more smiley than Rong Jing Xing.

Tonight's Starry Starry Night marks YZ's 1st ever evangelistic garage band concert. Praise the Lord that everything went on smoothly. We had 2 salvation and 3 who indicated interest to know more abt Christ! Whee! All glory to God cos everyone were just the hands and feet to do His work; not ours.

This is also the 3rd gig we had in YZ. First was in 1998, the Waaahh concert which was a 70's theme. Second was in 2000, the Millenium concert which was more funk age. And now is the most big scale concert, with 100 over youths. Amazing..

Well the seeds have been sown (although I wished I had a chance to share, but somehow the youths at my table were not interested) so now we await God's perfect time to let those seeds grow and take fruit.

It was a good ride back home with Fred tonight. Although I was a little sian that we didn't join the rest for supper, I guess it was good time alone with him. Hahah, after he complained that I haven't been spending time with him as much nowadays. Got to talk abt his experience serving in a larger capacity this time round, and also learning how to juggle between demands in school and responsibilites in church. Fred also shared how Charles was telling him and the other guys that doing background work such as logistics was much 'safer' than those on the stage - because it's doing these things that you really serve God and is less likely to be carried away with personal pride. I thought it was amazing sharing from Charles (once again :P) and it was good that he shared with Fred, cos I cld see that Fred's perspective about service has changed dramatically. I hope it'll be something permanent and not just a 'spiritual high' that's temporary. Besides praying for the young ppl who have heard the gospel, Fred will top my prayer list. :)

Hmm it's time to take a rest and get ready for tomorrow's service. Wish it will be a laid-back Sunday after service so that can spend more time with Pork Chop, cos it's going to be yet another wk where we're like guys in army who only book out on wkends. Bleah. But then again, there's Starry Starry Night briefing. Wonder how long it'll take... Sigh, just live with it lor. Time is limited..

Can't believe yesterday was Eat with Your Family Day at work and I left work 2 hours after our official time off. I was probably one of the few pathetic souls left in office. Yucks, whole journey home felt so sian. Everyone's taking the opposite train to start the wkend chill out and I'm going home. Ok, only plus point was my mom was nice enough to help me dye my hair and I just watched TV with my brother as he was playing games. Anyway the dye didn't work - my hair's as black as ever. Maybe I shld just hv a bright blond streak like how I always wanted to try for fun. But then again, it's not a common sight at work and I'll stick out like a sore thumb. Bleah. Ok, I'll do that another time. No pink streaks cos they fade too quickly. Haha.. Randomness.

Life is so fragile. One day you're going to school, next moment the school collapses on you and that's it. End of the journey and no chance to see the world. I can't say for sure whether it's good - that you're back with God sooner, or that you've missed out on seeing more of God's creation..

But this doesn't change the bottomline; which is to appreciate the people and things around us while we can. Even as people stress over their worldly pursuits (money, career, house, car, club, prestige...) these aren't going to last. Imagine having the nicest and grandest house in the hit area of Suzhou or Myanmar. Whatever you've worked so hard for, or even gave up precious parts of your life for, is crushed and reduced to rubble in a matter of seconds. Is the satisfaction or joy that you had such posessions enough to see you thru the agony of losing the family when a tragedy happens?

I dont' think we even need to tread to the end of a natural disaster to realise that such pursuits are frivolous, temporary and empty. Just take a look at funeral wakes and you'll realise that there's absolutely no difference in the way a rich or poor leaves this world. We all just go back empty handed. Sounds cliche? But that's a fact of life.

I'd rather choose a close-knit family, love-filled, God-filled and meaningful life than an ostentatious life of the rich and famous. Hrmph, the rich have their problems too. Fewer possessions, fewer problems. Life is simple.

just when i'm whining about work and how i wanna laze, the scripture reading in today's devotion has reminded me to choose to be responsible and follow through the piece of work. guess God always knows when i start whining and immediately points it straight back at my face. but that's in a gd way - keeps me from being a 'soft and fluffy' believer who thinks i can get away with things..

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From Our Daily Bread:

I Don’t Feel Like It (Matthew 21:28-32)
He answered and said, “I will not,” but afterward he regretted it and went. —Matthew 21:29

Have you ever faced an unwanted chore and felt as if it were the last thing on earth you wanted to do? Mowing the lawn, doing the wash, cleaning the house, or even preparing a Sunday school lesson after an exhausting week can make us feel like procrastinating.
When this happens, my wife and I have a motto we repeat to each other: "I don’t feel like it—but I’m going to do it anyway." There is something about recognizing our lack of motivation and then choosing to be responsible that helps us follow through.
God’s value on faith and obedience can be seen in the parables of Jesus. Christ spoke about two sons who were asked to work in the vineyard. The first said no, but "afterward he regretted it and went" (Matt. 21:29). The second said yes but did not follow through. Then the Lord asked His listeners, "Which of the two did the will of his father?" (v.31). The obvious answer is the one who finished the task.
Our Lord’s illustration underscores a key spiritual principle. God is interested in our faith and obedience—not just our good intentions. Next time you are tempted to shirk your duties, why not say, "I don’t feel like it," and then ask God for the grace to do it anyway. — Dennis Fisher

O help us, Lord, to heed Your Word,

Its precepts to obey;

And give us strength to quench the urge

To do things our own way. —Sper
Obedience is faith in action.

nice blog template that reminds me to remember who i am in God's eyes. thank God that Shann was back in church briefly on saturday! credit to rach and sophie who made a surprise visit at Shann's place after BS. guess i've gotta spend more one-on-one time with the girls or arrange group outings like we used to last time :)

Taking a long wkend break is wonderful.. To take things slow and look at things around you. Went for the long-awaited cycling trip at East Coast with Pork Chop yesterday - amazing! The whole trip was really enjoyable. Taking in the things which we seldom see in the concrete city. Wondering why I never seem to have seen such lovely places in Singapore. No skyscrapers but nice sea view and greenery. Wished we just kept cycling and never got back to the city life.

Thanks for going with me Pork Chop!

Singapore's public transport is lousy to the core.. There's no frequent or even regular cycle for busses or trains and it's getting more expensive (check out SMRT's announcement on its bottomline today). Mere peasants like us are told to have confidence in our 'reliable' public transport system, but somehow I've had to leave my home 20mins earlier so that I can be at work early. If I had left just a little later, I'd end up late for work. Even so-called 'premium' busses don't work.

Need to gripe about the public transport cos I stood from the MRT right up to the bus ride home today. It was over an hour on heels, carrying my laptop. Now my lousy and frail backbone is aching. Sigh, even more tiring than running 2-over km on the treadmill. Thank goodness I was on the other end of the train carriage; unlike some very unfortunate lady who was stuck in the midst of many blangah workers (not that I'm being racist, but it's always very uncomfortable for a lady).

Meanwhile, I'll just bear with the public transport cos mere civillians like us can't do much except writing complaint letters which probably gets tossed into the trash bins.

1.5years ago it was the Forbidden City.. 1.5years fast forward from there, and we're here at We Will Rock You. Amazing isn't it?


The musical was fun. Reminds me of a sing-a-long session with all the Queen tracks. I liked it, but probably wasn't able to appreciate it as much as a true blue Queen fan. Nonetheless, the whole plot was quite fun. Not a huge storyline since it's just a time to bring out Queen songs, but good enough for me.


Hmm, maybe watching a musical shld be an annual event. Haha!

"Nothing" - Jeremy Camp's Stay

Well I must have been good I must have been right To see you standing holding, holding me tight With your arms around me i know that you are there You're never in the distance I always know you're near

Nothing i can do, nothing i can say Can make you love me more, your love remains the same You gave it all for me, you gladly took my place To rid myself of all, all my guilt and shame

I must have stood strong, i must have stood tight To yield the thoughts around me, the battle in my mind And knowing you surround me, your wings coat my despair Whatever my condition, the cross it shows you care

:::::::::::::

How apt when we study about Jesus' faithfulness for BS this week.

Juno - one of the only films on screen now tt's worth watching. Also the mind stimulating kind, rather than silly "Meet the Spartans" (alright it's good for a wkend brainless laugh)

The scriptwriter for Juno's brilliant. Able to intertwine both reality and some humor in it. Very interesting how issues such as teenage pregnancy, maturity, abortion, marriage, social strata, love etc are mixed in a very tasteful fashion and not to overwhelming. Like some film festival shows but not too over the top. Worth a watch. Thanks pork chop for the movie treat! Love it! :)

Have been thinking about the human race this whole week. My conclusion: humans are weird and ugly.

Take a little train ride each morning and you'll see the real facet of humans. Squeezing and shoving their way into the train carriage. I wonder where's the social graces. Even if you don't feel like pushing your way in, someone behind you pushes you forward. (Yes ladies are always at risk. Aunties are the surviving champs) This morning's train ride totally pissed me off. Someone along my bench was actually quarelling over some seat! Goodness gracious. Then when it looked like all was quiet during the journey, some other wacko came in shouting "please move in, there's not ghosts in the centre. I'm not the ghost. Why don't you want to move in? There are pretty girls to look at in the centre." Although all these people weren't talking to me, it just spoiled my day. Re-affirms my thought all week about how ugly people can be.

Maybe all we see is a facade of people and things. Beneath everyone is some deep and dark secret that they try to hide. Of course I'm human too and it doesn't preclude me from the pack. But it's a matter of what one's hiding. Is it something that compromises your friend's trust in you? We might seem to know someone for ages, thinking that we know all about them as we can. But truth is, maybe not. Maybe there are some things a person wishes to keep mum about. Hmm, but aren't people supposed to be truthful to one another? Can we not even blink when we say sth that our mind/heart tells us not to? Can we trust humans 100%? I think the better bet's with God.

Sometimes I wished I was as gulible as I was back in sch. Yup I know that I'm easily fooled, always trusting and always taking things as gospel truth. But isn't that better? It's easier to deal with a crying baby than an expressionless person. As stupid as it sounds, it might be better to live in a make-believe world and think that everyone's righteous. Than to discover years later that some thing you believed all these while is not what it is. I don't know whether it is better to know or not to know and live in ignorance.

Well some things don't change - our guts. Ack, this has just confirmed that my guts are usually more accurate than my rational mind. Bleah..

Looking at other people's photos of partying, travels and social gatherings etc kinda makes me feel like some big stick-in-the-mud. Like so loserish to rather spend time at home with my family, even if it means just sitting around watching tv.

Oh well, I've got no life. Just work and home. But I kinda am such a person. No social butterfly. Then that's where the conundrum is for me - feeling bored staying at home yet not a keen person of large gatherings.

Yup cheers to sitting at home and watching aimless dramas with my family. I'd rather spend time at home where we don't need to pretend to be very sociable. Close friends are gd enuff. Partying to hook up some networking is stupid.

Hahha, can't imagine how no life I am now. Playing silly online games early in the morning and chatting with ex-colleagues.

It's whenever my ex-colleagues ask me how's work/colleagues/life etc that I realise how much better it is to work with them. Yup audit sucks, the long hours and doing things that are seemingly pointless and non-value adding. But I guess it's the team that sustains everything. To suffer together and appreciate each other's work more. To be valued beyond your work - as a friend and not just a colleage/co-worker. Maybe it's just lucky that uncle boon's team is the strongest and closest knit within AABS21. Dunno. But well, I'll run along alone in the new work environment with that little group of newbies; my new princesses at work. We decided not to include the princes cos they're all married and one even tendered and took back his letter. I feel so pessimistic talking to him that I decided to stay away in case it rubs off me. Hahah!

Anyhow, I'll wait for the Labroy and CSE teams to come back to ORQ and we can have lunch!

Meanwhile, it's back to playing silly online games and waiting to have BS with the girls.. :)

Hmmm CNY second day.. How does everyone feel? Sick of all the snacks and bak gua? I am kinda sick of all the food already. Feeling bloated and over-stuffed every moment. Trying so hard to eat in moderation, but it's difficult when the elders keep asking you to eat. Oh well, so I'll just try to live with a big stomach for the time being. Hahhaa!

Feeling absolutely alert and awake after clocking in many many hours of sleep yesterday (maybe abt 10hrs) after I knocked out early last night.. But wow, it's gd to feel more refreshed after a bath.

Today's visitation was less hectic cos we didn't go to 2 places in the end. Well, my family's gonna visit them tmr, but I'll be giving them a miss this year. Prefer the slower pace of just visiting a few people will do. But I guess my dad's trying to keep the tradition of visiting all the elderly cos they don't see us any other time during the year.

Yup, so there's the CNY rush for my family... Phew....

The one final gathering at Yee Lin's place - the annual fellowship of that community of people who have shared their teenage yrs together.

Quite amazing how this group has evolved over the years.. Couples getting married, new ones getting attached (hahah like yours truly), married couples having first kids (most have progressed onto baby #2) and including new young adults we meet at YAM.

I absolutely love such gatherings even though it's not a very regular thing. It's lovely to catch up with folks you are close with. A community where you can be yourself, laugh out loud and tease each other for being so geeky as youths.

Aside from having nice fellowship, there's also the new topic of joy - laughing at the kids when they do silly things. So there it was the first photo of the kids sitting together on the couch. Those kind that we always had as kids, memories of our childhood friends. It'll be fun to capture that same group sitting on couches at different stages of their life; to see how they've grown etc. Tsk, I hope to lay hands on one of those photos for the blog. If not I'll just hawk over Dav's blog. (he never fails to amaze me in doing the most out-of-the-box things ever)

For now it's farewell to dearest package.. We'll see you real soon!

Hate it when I'm sick cos I'm like a walking burping bag - burp every few minutes. It was so embrassing this morning when I cldn't control my incessant burping in front of all my colleagues. How unglam and disgusting for a girl to keep burping. Guess I must stop teasing pork chop for his burps.. Bleah...

Saner moments in Bintan this year..

A timely reminder while reading on YZ's blog which I've marked out in my Bible ages ago. Guess I'm just the most boring nerd still believing in this, and proud to say that these verses speak the truth of how we shld conduct ourselves (I mean for girls. Guys can just read on whole of 1 Peter 3 for the whole picture).

1 Peter 3: 3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

blessed new year to one and all! i'm not trevor, but it's the same message nonetheless.. alritey, may it be a better year for everyone!

my lovely birthday present - thanks dear! it probably cost u lotsa sweat n sleep.. love it!

love actually

Sometimes when a person just wants to wind down completely at home but ends up having a pile of things to deal with, it does help a little to watch a movie like this to be thankful for the family around.

Wanna curl up alone and watch it somewhere. Hopefully there's a sappy part for all easily teary-eyed girls. Heh..

A year ago I was in Houston, things have changed and I just came back from Bintan. How different...

Hmm it's quite nice having the whole house to myself for once. Everyone's out for dinner, grandpa's out for a day tour in Malacca and only coming back later. Hee, it's quite nice to just not have so many 'bodies' around in sucha small space.

Can't imagine I've just wasted like an hour on facebook and friendster. Even wonder what's the point of these webpages. Do stupid things and snoop on everyone's photos. Sounds a bit superficial cuz everyone just makes some judgement on ppl based on photos posted.

Random moment of the wkend - seeing a total of 2 dead cats on the road yesterday and today. Absolutely disgusted. Thank goodness I didn't drive them over. Was on the other lane on the expressway on my way home after sending Rach back. Yucks.. And we think of cats having 9 lives. Guess not when they're silly enough to attempt dashing across the expressway.

Alright, time for a little walk to my neighbourhood centre. Getting a little bored at home (see women are fickle.. hahha. kidding)

Lunched in today.. Quite nice for a change although it's super quiet here. It's also quite weird how all the colleagues in my cube lunched in today. Worst thing is that we all kept quiet. Everyone reading their own emails n stuff. And here I am typing furiously at this blog post. Haha.. I even wonder if I'll get sacked for blogging. Oh well, then again I'm not posting any thing w suspicious blog content. I'm a politically friendly person.

Darn, I've got things to do but I'm just quite bored at work cuz I still haven't found chummy friends like Aunty Goh back in EY. Ok nvm, I'll jio jio the newbies for tea sometime. Good that we had lunch tog yesterday and will be having another one tmr. Hahaha I think the girls are also bored stiff too.

Looking fwd to facial later on!!!

It's very strange how some people's fate can change in the most unexpectedmanner. I was just reading some website on world news on money launderingand other fradulent activities. Cldn't imagine how the weekly contributorwas someone who had some background in being a money launderer. But well,the website is still genuine in that this person's background is undertight scrutiny. It was kinda like deja vu when I was reading his profile,cause it reminded me of the money "Catch me if you can". Funny rite, howhe's turning over a new leaf by providing the world insights into how thiswhole lot of fishy business goes along, and yet at the same time be in themidst of some pending trial of his own.

But it's quite interesting and refreshing to read and realise how all theseactivities that used to be very fictional to me is so real in our world.Things that I used to read on novel books are actually happening. And theauthorities around the world are doing their part in diligently trackingthese culprits around, in hope of restoring more transparency in ourmarkets.Interesting..

Learning new things about our world each day. Caveat:learning from reading things on authenticated sources. Heh

More often than not, it always takes some drastic event before we all appreciate the little things in life.

It's been a week since a church member was being called home to the Lord. And his family came for service today, where his wife gave thanks for the support rendered during the funeral by all the church members. The kids were all back in church. And kids being kids, somehow the two younger ones were still smiling as usual. Except for the oldest boy, who looks the same little shy boy he is.

Well it's things that we see happen to people closer to us that shakes us and makes everyone realise how lucky we all are, to be able to enjoy the simple things of life. Having a meal with the family, being able to move around on our own, being able to smile etc. Thank God for the little things that are in essence the really important things that anyone will ever need.

My mom was sharing how this loss for the family turned out to be a lesson for her Sunday school class. I also had a discussion about this with my BS group yesterday. Yeah, it's such things that causes us to take count of the many blessing that we all have.

Riches and glory are but transient things we may or may not enjoy on earth. As I'm typing these, I'm also overhearing my grandpa's conversation with my uncle about how lucky he is to enjoy his travels. Other relatives around his age are starting to deteriorate, and see their physical bodies age. Those who were considered more lucky and blessed than him in the good old days because of their riches, are now stuck at home trying to cling onto whatever things that they have left. Those who are rich also face their giants - having big bungalows but yet see their family members trying to sell the home because no one lives there anymore except for the elderly and the maid. I even wonder how can any child conceive such a thought. Weren't they the ones who enjoyed the comforts of the house purchased with their parent's hard earned money?

Whatever it is, I'm just loving the ordinary life that I have right now. Nothing that I want to change. I'm lovin it!

And this song always rings in my head when I head off for work in the morning..

ANGEL IN DISGUISE

I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed
and dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'

But out on the street it starts to pour
and before I get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look at Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise

I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea

But out on the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places,
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise

Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise

I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new.

With the rugby world cup season currently underway, it's terrible not to have cable TV. Argh, I've only caught one All Blacks match. Still remember sitting w the rest of the ruggers at National Statdium back during jc days watching the Rugby 7s. Feel like tossing the Gilbert ball now.. But in a terrible shape to even last for half of the 7minute sprinting..

What is meant by living an enriched and eventful life? Do we engage in many various activities and hobbies instead of being glued to the google box?

Sometimes there are days in which I wonder what am I spending my time on. Watching the telly all day seems brainless (a good 'exercise' after a long day's work) and entertaining, but it gets a little too much. Quite a waste of time.

Then again, ask me what I can suggest to do in Singapore and I can hardly come up with anything really special or exiciting. We're just too small and boring. All people do are so repetitive and aimless.

Hmm wonder if short road trips are possible over the weekends... Wanna get out and do something exciting!!

Gosh, I'm becoming a city rat and a bore..

Time flashes past when you're enjoying it. Just when I started to enjoy the one week of break from work, there it comes - back to work on Monday. Sob..

Can't we go for long breaks? Sigh, ok we're tasked by God to labour at the 'fields', so just accept it.

Hoping that work will be more interesting and there's more work life balance to come.

Alrite, must enjoy the break while it lasts! Handle all things with God's strength!

everyone is brain dead after a while. we do weird things and we talk to ourselves.
tempers flare altho no one expresses it out. the war goes on in their heads.

can't imagine i'm blogging at 1am in the office.

poor alex is clearing 2 years of shit..

suddenly i'm so lucky

can't imagine tt i'm bored until i'm doing some stupid ice cream test i got from a friend.. duh..

CHERRY GARCIA! You scored 70% SWEET, 66% CHUNKY, and 70% UNIQUE!

cherry sweet cream base with cherries and fudge chunks Awesome...you are one of my personal favs: Cherry Garcia. You fall in the middle on all measurements- sweet, wild, and unique, but not overwhelmingly so on any of those. You make a good friend, able to share your unique perspectives on things, and able to have fun without winding up in jail or something. Good job.

Untitled Hymn Chris Rice

Weak and wounded sinner

Lost and left to die

O, raise your head, for Love is passing by

Come to JesusCome to Jesus

Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden’s lifted

And carried far away

And precious blood has washed away the stain...so

Sing to Jesus

Sing to Jesus

Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby

Don’t be afraid to crawl

And remember when you walk, sometimes we fall...so

Fall on Jesus

Fall on Jesus

Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely

And steep and filled with pain

So if your sky is dark and pours the rain...then

Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over

And music fills the night

And when you can’t contain your joy inside...then

Dance for Jesus

Dance for Jesus

Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat

Kiss the world goodbye

Then go in peace, and laugh on glory’s side...and

Fly to Jesus

Fly to Jesus

Fly to Jesus and live!

Copyright 2002 Clumsy Fly Music (ASCAP)

blue sky and white houses.. sweet!

Ahhhh Xiannnnn's birthday!

:photo courtesy of Shirley:

Psalm 19:7-11, 14

The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul;

The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple;

The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;

The commandment of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;

The judgements of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold; sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.

Moreover by them Your servant is warned, and in keeing them there is great reward.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight,

O Lord, my strength and my redeemer

It's been months since I've last blogged.. Just kinda spend my free time on everything else except for looking at any computers/laptops. Yup, talk about occupational hazards and trauma..

Exactly a year ago, I returned from a month long vacation that was so full of adventure and excitement. A year later, I sit in front of my laptop just being thankful that I managed to get off work on time today.

How things change in a short span of a year. No wonder they say the only constant is change.

Guess change can be for the better or worse. No one knows until the point when we reach that moment when change occurs.

Who knows what will happen a year later when I look back at this blog..

But nonetheless, I thank God for how He is the neverchanging pillar of my life - keeping me sane in the kind of craziness rush that I face almost daily at work..

Romans 8:28.. lesson learnt: all things are planned by God for our good..

Guess there are days when you just wish you can hide in some cave and not do anything cuz you don't know what is there to do or see.

Went to town with my bros and mom after spending almost the entire afternoon with my brothers choosing their shoes. Very sian, dunno what I'm doing. So just walk and walk along with them. No idea what's the big deal with GSS cuz nothing catches my eye, except for some bag which I saw but still didn't buy. Then came all the way home just to meet some insurance agent and get dinner for everyone.

That's my boring wkend. Think I better look forward to church camp.

Very sian for now. Don't even know what went on over the wkends...

Sometimes people at work just irk you to bits. And you can't do anything but smile and be nice. Well when your client complains to you abt your colleague, just be nice and defend your colleague. Hmm, better to always be nice to your client if not life is miserable.

Smile and take everything in your stride. Swallow your pride and be humble. Lesson learnt.

Thankfully I'm outta the terrible cave at tanjong pagar.

Finally went to YZ for a little while today. Wasn't an intended appearance but it was kinda good, even though I felt a little too 'old' and out of place.

I guess youth groups possess some kinda vibrancy that is uncomparable to other ministries in the church. It's the energy of the youths that rubs off, albeit I must say youths these days are not as fun loving as last time. Everyone's a bit stonned compared to when I was there as a little kiddo looking at people like Amy, Joe, Zhiqiang and the other old foggies. Heh.. Maybe that's why I always prefer 830 service to 11 service. Felt energized by Rach's worship today. Thanks babe! =)

Was walking around Ikea area in the midst of YZ when there was some program cuz my groups are all leaders by now, so I just hang around to look-see. Anyway, was walking and thinking about how or what should I be doing about my service. Do I stop after my girls (or should I say growing ladies, tsk) join YAM after that. Am I able to juggle between work commitments and serving actively? Is the youth group still a place where I should serve? Am I too old and no longer in tune with the little kiddos who have joined? Dunno. I just walked on and thought about these things.

Realised that just over the past couple of months since I returned from Europe, I've become really lazy. Maybe it's just me using work as an excuse or something. I'm not sure. Maybe it's also because the usual group of church buddies have moved along and there's less support. Fewer large group lunches, fewer talk-cock sessions.

But for now, one thing's for sure is that I will continue with the girls until they're 18. Wow, I've actually been with them since they were 13 - that's 5ys! Hahah, still remember them fooling around with me and the guys laughing at me for being more like one of them instead of their DGL. Hey girls, you guys have grown a whole lot more mature in a short span of 5yrs. Amazing..

Almost fainted when I was in the midst of filling up the first portion of some bank job application form, cuz I saw the wireless connection signal go off on my laptop just as I clicked save. How right could the timing get. Grr.... Well, my mom didn't know that I was using the internet in my room and turned the router off. Goodness, it always happens.

Oh well, so I stayed up all night to submit the application for that ONE bank. Gosh, I hoped to do like 2 applications tonite. But guess it's too late and I'm too tired also.

Argh, why can't MAS call me.... The other statutory boards sound so boring. EDB and MTI maybe, but MOF sounds so rigid.. We'll see how. God show me the way..

Went to Rochester Park with Pete last night cuz he had access to the company's empty bungalow there. My oh my, it's so nice lah the place. Absolutely quiet and serene. Lovely. The kinda old school type of housing. Haha my favourite. Floored by the nice place and interiors. Amazing.. Too bad we were both tired and didn't stay too long there. One and only chance to enter. But it was good! =)

Guess it's also the general atmosphere of the area at Rochester and the surroundings that makes a person feel very at home and relaxed. Away from all the noise and hussle that we face each day so that you can unwind and space out. The place even had a little walkway out to a garden that's shared between 2 units! Talk about walking out of your house into the greenery. Wah...

There's some unexplainable attraction about old colonial houses. Yeah, I guess it can appear a little errie at night (with all those scary drama serials that were shot with these buildings as backgrounds when I was in primary sch) but it's just very open and spacious. No little corners like the current pathetic and crazily expensive condos; they're literally iron cells. Something quite nostalgic about them and casual. Dream house!

Haha I always get laughed at by package for taking fancy in these old houses. Well, it's things like these that can look pleasing to the eye for ages and you won't hate it. Why would anyone enjoy shifting houses all the time?

Thanks for bringing me to Rochester! Love it!

Quite pleasantly surprised why the internet connection and access barrier at Hitachi Towers have been lifted. Too bad, we've shifted rooms beside Finance Dept for the time being. So this is very temporary only.

Anyhow, my nightmare has kind of started. This is a much much larger firm with complicated and complex processes.. Aggravated by millions of business grps that each function as a separate entity.. Large Finance Team (that some how seems to favour my male supervisor and other colleage over me) And all these makes my work so much harder. Just had a little snide remark passed by one of the accountants again last night. So there goes more un-answered questions that are piling up each day. Thankfully my supervisor is understanding and has decided to 'charm' his way to get the answers for all of us.

I still wonder how we can ever finish this. Cross my fingers and hope for a better day at work each morning..

Sheesh, this has been quite an eventful day at the stocktake. Had to walk under some puny umbrella with my client under the pouring rain just to look at some vehicle number plates to validate their existence. Gosh, why can't I just look at the vehicle log cards instead? Aren't they even better evidence of ownership? Dunno.. I'm not the planner. Just do what my superior says.

But it was quite interesting as I got to squeeze with my client at the back of some Mercedes convertible. Absolutely cool car! Oh well, dear's driving a nice car too!

Hmm, so here I am trying to figure out where and how to go to Dempsey road. And my always-reliable streetdirectory.com has just failed on me. Keeps popping up so many search results for Dempsey road without allowing me to select one of it. Crap... Now I've gottta read the street directory, which obviously I'm terrible at.

Whee! Little Dexter is at my place again! Just heard them enter the house. Maybe I'll go play with him. My little entertainment for Friday night. Hahah.. Cute kid. Absolutely intelligent and lovable. Just like Uncle Boon's Marcus.

It's funny to know that somehow this blog is tagged to the youthzone blog. Kinda like a bit of a subconscious thing that tells me to be more discrete in blogging. Talk about having a personal space to blabber. Oh well, somethings are just private and not for public broadcast. Heh..

But anyhow I thank God for an amazing amazing week. Lovely to see precious everyday. Can't get enough of you! Thank you for always being patient and sweet.. =)

Life seems to be a lot slower now after the completion of the listed company's audit. Doing another couple more companies, but I guess with God's strength and precious' support during the tough times, things are not so difficult to handle. Time to get off sitting on things for too long and start working fast again. Another deadline to finish a Japanese company in 14days. Wonder how we can do it, but we still have to finish it. Talk about time management, learn it from the auditors. Ask poor Lance.

Scooting off to visit lala-land in preparation for a long and physically draining at the yards for some stocktake. Time to tan my face. Sure beats being in Sentosa. Yuck, I'd rather have the sun, sand and sea anytime!

I can be sucha loser at times. Can't imagine that I was filling up some important application online and the silly website had to display errors when I was about to finish the application! Alamak!!!! Goodness, is this a sign not to apply? Pls don't say that it's a sign. Let me go and have life. Stupid website... Now I've gotta fill everything up again

Finally got my ass out and just jog a little. More like a space out session to just walk around and think of stuff. Look at what's happening around me or in my life and just ponder. As usual, my favourite activity. But I guess that's what keeps my mind active. Keep thinking...

Maybe that's also why my dear Salty friend keeps going to the gym nowadays. Might just be her way of sorting out the things in her life. All thanks to some immature and childish other half. Very scary how people just change so quickly. Even things that seemed so cool and blissful for the past couple of years can just crumble like that. Are there really things that people can tolerate? What if there are somethings people close an eye to at the moment, just suddenly blow up before you know anything? Scary. Even the respect you have for a person can be so easily erased overnight. Will it happen to anyone of us? Definitely. Maybe he should go for runs on his own to. Sort things out personally.

With Man and everything around us, the constant is change. But with God, He IS the Constant. Guess Joyce might just be right about this.

Anyway enough of cooling down after the long walk. Time to bathe and meet up with Qinlei. Owe her the long awaited ride in the van.

Till then, keep those grey matter thinking all the time

Wish that I could be whisked into an airplane now and just hide in some other country and backpack again. It's almost a year ago when we started our planning for the last trip to Europe. Can still remember each and everyday there. Heavenly..

So now it's just work hard again, save up again and target for another trip soon. Hopefully it can materialise. Hmm, where should the next place be. Greece? Spain? Scandinavian countries? Cambodia? Vietnam? Kathmandu? I'm game for all of them. Go and see the world before being tied down with more things on hand.

Had some time on hand during the day to wonder (as usual. my favourite activity when i'm free) about what to look forward to for the next couple of months. Hahah I live my days by the wkends and public holidays. Muahaha... Evil.

Yup, so the next trip will be to Malaysia! Cool! Thank God for the approval of my leave to join church camp. It's been almost 4 years since I last participated in the church camp. The last one was when I was back in JC1. Still remember how playful I was. Just play and chat the whole day with the entire gang who was there. And scramble back to my room to study for my first JC exams that were immediately after camp. Hahhaa... Nerdy me. But thank God I could get promoted back in JC.

Heh heh, looking forward to this church camp. Seems like the most adventurous one ever cuz the organizing team are the funky young families group! Whee!!!

Alritey, so it's time to look forward to that and start counting down. Think of the next holiday after June then..

Thank God today for such a wonderful day! Can't imagine that I actually knocked off at 630pm. Gosh, it's such a wonderful treat to a friday nite! Heh heh... Felt fantastic to just drive home from client's place and join the family for dinner at home. Amazing.. It's been a long time since I could go home before the sun sets, and to think that I've got some personal lazing around time at home. Haha.. Wonderful! Thanks to God!

But somehow, I just feel quite guilty leaving the client's place while the team is still there. Asked them whether I could help them, but somehow they didn't have anything to pass to me. So there I was stuck with my own work since the accountant wasn't around to provide me with essential documents. Continue and finish it on Monday then!

I'm so pleased with how the weekend's turning out. And there's the bday celebration, not forgetting time-out with my dear. Heh heh, you've finally got a mention on the blog! Cheers! Haha, other things are personal. Shhhhh....

What are we to do with our lives? What’s our very purpose of our being on this earth? Are we to live our lives trying to be the most outstanding and most noted person? To be more successful than our peers? To earn a quick buck so that we can enjoy an early retirement in the future?

How does all of these then look like when we read that as Christians, the very purpose of man is to please God? Yes, we all know that we can still please God in our workplace (or even some call it marketplace ministry), but how can we strike a balance between what is required of us at work and our service in God’s church?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s too naïve to say that I’m fine with living a simple life, not having to earn much or live a high-flyer type of life. But seriously, isn’t all these just quite so temporary? There are hoards of stories of successful people who were reduced to rags overnight. Their stories sound pathetic, but some are actually much happier when they possess less. Are the rich and famous necessarily happier than the poor farmer? Are not the powerful also targets of backstabbing and man’s evil manipulation? Are they not wary of people who get to friendly with them, who might harbour ulterior motives?

Simplicity can be nice at times. Just live my little life and be contented with whatever God blesses me with, don’t covet for more than I deserve.

:::::

Rare opportunity to think and blog during workhours. Hahah in fact, it’s my first. Really rare cuz senior’s not around and I’ve completed practically everything that I can do. Haha, so back to reading bible commentaries on revelation until my senior comes. Hee hee, thank God for the long break!

Monday blues are quite bad when you know you've gotta rush some job in 4days; from a 5day job which is already very rushed, to a 4day one so that my boss can come down to the client's place and review our work. Goodness...

Worked OT just today itself and I'm still at home trying to finish this up. Wonder if I can even finish it cuz I doubt my client's speed of work and efficiency. Hai.. Okay, press on and complain less.

Miss my dear already. Only 1day and it feels like so long. Can't imagine that I'm saying this online, but dunno who else to say to at this time of the night.

Alritey, kick myself in the butt and back to looking at the fixed assets.

Mantra for the night: I must love my job..

Night out with the Chans

The lovely Chan kids from Mauritius. Gosh, it's scary to see them from babies becoming running machines. Haha, they practically did their 100metre sprints in the restaurant. Amazing..

Taking this photo was such a joy. The 2 older ones (Ryan, 6; Christina, 5) used their 'da ge da jie' power to gather their younger siblings (Brian, 3; Jordan, 2) to pose for my camera. Haha so cute. Obviously my favourites are the 2 older ones. Very smart and mature. Always easy going and smiley. The cheekiest has to be Brian. Can't stand it when he tries to give you the puppy look when you scare him. Makes you melt. Argh.. He gets his way.

So I became the bean bag for them to run to me so that I can catch em. Wah, 4 of them combined can be quite a powerhouse. I was pushed and crammed into the corner. Scary when they come charging at you, but it's quite fun. It beats having to catch the boys who became monkeys jumping off the beds last yr.

It's always nice seeing the whole family get together yearly. From being the ones who were kids the last time my bro and myself went to Mauritius, to playing with their grandkids. Eee, sounds so old. But Chris made quite a gd point yesterday, it's nice to hear kids laughing and playing. Very warm and lovely.

And here's my all time favourite. The red indian chief of the kids, the little darling who teaches me bits of French everytime I see him, haha my personal translater and crowd controller when we're playing with his cousins. Little Ryan Chan! Getting older and more mature, so no more jumping off the beds. He quietly sits by the chair besides his dad, trying to finish his food so that he can feast on ice cream. Hahah..

It's great having one-on-one car rides with my dad. Most of the time it's so called 'boring' talk about life principles, but I love it when he does that occassionally. Over the years, I guess I've come to realise that I'm getting more and more like my dad in terms of some stuff or mentality that we share. Of course there are those differences, but I guess it's how I've been shaped by all these 'principled' talks. Thank God for dad's talks man, cuz its these values that make a person how he/she is. Much as I think we share the same views on certain things, dad's much stronger than me. I'm just a weakling. Haha.. But yeah, if he wasn't as strong, we would probably have crumbled when things were going tough a couple of years ago. Thank God for dad and more morning car rides! =)

Time to kick my ass and start the day on the right note. Haha, terrorize my clients and get my work done..

Seeing how old the last entry was kinda explains the state of my leisure web-surfing habits. Think I really need to eat back all my words abt worklife being better than schooling days. Man, it's really fighting battles everyday. Mentally draining. So I just knock out when I come home. Not to mention that I seldom sit around the tv and chat w my bros or parents. Miss that terribly.. But they're coming home! Tt's great! Meanwhile, I'm psychoing myself to love my job. Hard but better try, if not it's quite hard to endure it. Hats off to all those seniors and above who have suffered and are still hanging on (haha although we all know tt they're thinking of quitting too)

Came across this site of a man trying to accomplish something quite lovely - taking photos of one child from all the 192 countries in the world. Each child lives in NY and is either an immigrant or first generation child. Amazing ain't it?

Simply love the photos of kids taken at their most natural moments.

As much as I enjoyed it, i'll leave the link here for you guys to enjoy. Those kids really makes you melt. Lovely........

http://www.nychildren.org

It's scary how time flies when you're at work and when life's changed quite a fair bit. So much has happened. Not that it's bad, but wah I wouldn't have expected myself to be doing the things I'm doing now.

Every week passes in a flash and it's wkends and Monday blues over and over again. No time to blog, and I kinda don't even feel like blogging.

Yeah so until I feel like blogging, this is gonna be a dead man's site.. Haha!

How our human brain functions is truly amazing. How we rationalize every single thing when sometimes you just go with your gut. So I even wonder whether we should think so much about everything. Wouldn't it be easier if you just don't try to justify everything, or work out every possibility? Oh well, talk about a complicated brain.

I wish I'm a child.

Many many thanks to Queenlay for your lovely postcard! Love it man! *muacks*

Boy, I didn't realise that you mailed it until my dad asked me how come there was a postcard for me from San Francisco. Haha! I was almost delirious after reading it. Man, I also wanna go there with you! Shld have packed myself into your suitcase at the airport instead of going Penang.

Qinlei: saw your photos of the places that you've been. Lovely! I wanna eat at Fisherman's Wharf too!!!! Thanks for the wonderful surprise! Wanna see your photos when you're back!

Attended some communications class yesterday as part of our training for work. Apparently, some experts say how a message is communicated across is based on this magic formula:
Chosen words - 7%
Tone of voice - 38%
Body language - 55%

Much as I know that I don't really fear speaking in front of crowds, it's also my pitfall; in that I am not very careful in choosing my words. Things that I say on the go as I speak tend not to be chosen carefully, and sometimes I wonder if I ever offend anyone with that. But I guess not yet, since I haven't heard any complaints apart from Joyce.

Think this is qutie a bad testimony being a Christian cuz I blurt words quickly. Not that I always swear, but I think words can be more carefully chosen. So this is just one of the issues that people gripe with in moulding their lives to be more godly, and mine's dealing with speech.

Application for the week: reign in and talk less

Penang was quite a bore apart from the makan sessions with the rest there. Nothing to see or do in Penang but eat. And it's quite disgusting to know how much I ate there.

Oh well, it was nice knowing a couple more people from that trip, although it would have been more of a blast if Selene was there to accompany me and Danielle. Silly lass who cheated us into applying for last batch. Thank goodness there were still the rest like Donny, Gillian, Joanne, Yun Rui and Tu Zhi who made the boring training sessions a tad more interesting.

And it's quite amazing how they can entertain themselves with the camera. Taking shots after shots. Haven't laid my hands on the photos but hahah it'll be darn fun to look at all of the photos. Truly amazing how they can keep on posing for the camera. Donny & Gillian, you guys are the best!

So it'll be back to training at Ocean Building for the next couple of weeks I guess. Oh oh, and thank God for the good news man! Just heard from my supervisor just minutes ago that my manager somehow managed to 'transfer' me back to his team! Goody! Not the best client profile, but nicer people to work with. Yipee!

Some people are just blind or they just do weird things..

For the first time in my life (apart from the time in Europe), I was quite scared of jaywalking at my place. Some weird taxi driver was going forwards and backwards repeatedly at the junction. I still thought it could be how some vehicles reverse a little upon stopping, but boy this cab was really reversing. And then he'll move foward to the white line again. Scary..

Enough to be horned at for jaywalking and almost getting hit the last time. As much as I don't really pay attention to traffic lights, what if his knee jerks and hits me?! Hahah morbid thoughts but yeah me and my vivid imagination.

Bon Voyage Steph!

Can't imagine that things can be so coincidental such that I'm due to be at airport today till 6pm and Steph's flight is at 8.40pm today too. Hahaa so I'll be perfectly on time to meet her and send her off!

Lucky lass is going Sweden's Lund University for exchange for a whole semester. Gosh, I hope she posts photos and keeps everyone updated of her exciting stories of Sweden.

It'll just be another couple of weeks before I'm sending Xiao off again for her Hong Kong exchange. Sob.. Then again, why is everyone going for exchange? I want too! Erm a bit overdue, but yeah. Secret desire since uni days. Now I can only self-sponsor travel trips. Hai.

Looking forward to send her off! Hopefully Xiao goes to accompany me. Heh heh..

Just attended the first session of FOP on Sat night. It's been a while since both me and pkg went to Indoor for any Christian band thing. The last we heard Don Moen was when we were back in lower sec, helping to usher people together with the rest of the youth group. Goodness, how time flies.

Back to this year's FOP. Actually it's just my first FOP. Didn't make it to last year's cuz I didn't want to queue for hours just to watch Delirious perform. Guess I'm just not used to the too-charismatic way of worship. Since I met lovely Eunice, so she managed to squeeze in another 2 seats for me and pkg amongst the rows they got for their cell group. Yeah so it's was kinda strange for me to be sitting amongst a group of ultra charismatic people, attending a worship event.

Those speaking in tongues (not that I've something against it, but just that I'm very wary of whether so many people can have the same gift and worship in the same church at the same time. Isn't it that God provides a church with a variety of gifts so that the diversity can help the church?) and the jumping etc. Well, I used to be the jumping sort back in secondary school, and I still believe that it's alright to do anything you want to worship Him. It should be any form that is a reflection of a person's personal manner of worshiping. But it's just that I'm not that spontaneous anymore. By the time they came to altar call, pkg and myself just sat throughout, even as everyone around were standing.

The focus of FOP was a bit unusual to me. It's both worship and a segment on a series of messages for the entire 3-day event. And the message was kind of very pro-youth; talking about how misunderstood youths are by the older people in the church, and that we should not keep thinking of how we are weak but that we are worthy in God's eyes etc. Nothing wrong with that lah, but I couldn't catch a chunk of what the Argentinian paster was talking about. Overall the message seemed a bit too skewed towards supporting the young people, and challenged the adults to understand youths. Oh well, not for me to judge the sermon topic.

So I think I can only listen to contemporary Christian music on cd, but not in a live environment cause it becomes too commercialised and concert-like for me. I can only listen to them on the cd in my own little personal space. Live band is good, but not a real worship session for me.

Wonder how I'll take this coming Saturday's Planetshakers event at Max Pavillion. We'll see. God must work His way in me then.

PISSED PISSED PISSED!!!!!!

Oh my gawd, I took 2 hours plus to pick and choose those photos to develop from the trip. And my stupid computer has to say that I wasn't supposed to open other programs while its burning the disc. Argh... It took so long to sift through which ones I wanted to develop! Alamak, and I wanted to bring it for developing at granny's place later on. Crap. Gggrrrr.... Stupid program didn't even save a copy of the hundreds of photos that I picked. Shit! Have to do it again and I'm rushing to go out. Damn it.

Random thought #87:

If you had the choice of a mutant power or character out of X-Men, what would your choice be?

With full assurance of my destiny
O Lord, nothing gives me more joy than
To honour You, the Risen One

The Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit
Shall stretch over all mountain and waters
Over every heart and soul
Come reign and transform all mankind
To praise and glorify You

Praising and declaring our desires
Our thanksgiving could go on and on
Even time on earth ain't enough for me
Lord, let me praise You for all eternity in heaven

I will lift my hands to the King
To love You with all I have
I belong to You

Jesus, miraculous deeds You do
That no man can comprehend
We turned against You, yet You love and exhibit much more grace
Wash us clean; as clean as pure lambs
Thank You Lord for Your everbounding grace

Now take all that I have
My sould, mind and might
Direct me Lord to ways that please You
You and You alone are the object of my worship
My Lord and King - the Great Redeemer!

Worshipping You gives me joy
To dwell in Your house of love forever

This should be amazing. Check out how Kit Chan can look so dreadful with this supposed Empress Dowager outfit. That apart, this musical should be a must-see. Argh. Preview show tickets are sold out.

Yeah man! Finally met up with the girls to share our photos. Landed my hands on the cd that Steph burned for us. Another round of screening photos and laughing at how crazy we were to take so many pictures. Yipee! I can finally develop them and start pasting it in the album. Cool!

Sometimes life is so unfair

I was working at the River Boat thing with 2 other guys at Esplanade yesterday and I just thought that it's so hard for people of a harder family background to jump out of their pit and achieve something for themselves. The boys were from ITE - one recent school dropout another in NS. And here they are trying to earn money to feed themselves and get some pocket money, but all they can do is simple jobs like this that don't pay much. Hardly learn any skills that can be applied to another job, but a job nonetheless just to get them by. They're nice kids, loud and rough, but harmless and fun loving anyhow. Much as they try to find jobs that earn them more, being able to hit $1,000 a month is wonderful for them. And there I was sitting there wondering how is this even enough.

One of them was funny enough to say that after he ORDs and works as a technician, will I ask my company to employ him as a technician. And it struck me how simple they can be, to be content with a job and not strive for something more.

What made the day even more strange was how I met my friends later on that day. Our conversation topics are so different from what I had with the boys. With the boys, I felt so bad for being a graduate sitting there and having to be cautious of what I say because I don't wanna make them feel lousy about themselves. We speak about gambling, smoking and those ah-beng stuff like illegal car racing. And with my friends, we're talking about travelling, shopping and finer things of life while eating at cafes and stuff. There I was feeling quite happy and excited that I watched my first and only play in London, to only realise that they've watched a million plays in Singapore and abroad. This 180deg change of conversation topics kinda made me feel quite strange. How life is so unfair for the ITE kids.

Much as some don't have good attitude and don't wanna do better in life, but just to pass each day as it comes, there are also others who are just stuck. Even if they wanna try something more, they can only do as such. It takes so much more effort for them to move and get out of their quit-school-and-what-can-i-do cycle, to so call equalise with others; while other more fortunate people are already moving on so much faster.

Anyway I hate the job now cuz it's so darn boring. There's nothing to do in the morning except to talk to the boys and breathe their second hand smoke. And there's another job paying slightly better or the trail job thing as I'm waiting for Lance to get back to me. Hmm wonder if it's not nice to tell Xionghai that I'm not working at the River Boat thing.

Had a pleasant surprise today when I spotted Terrence on the same bus as me on the way home from church. Haha so strange that in one day, you'll actually meet 2 old friends - Gabe & Terrence. Ops, and there's Caleb. Haha Gabe, your brothers now look like twins. So different from the kiddy photos in my childhood photo album.

Why would anyone wanna travel all the way from Toh Yi drive to Jurong for a haircut? Dunno what Terrence was thinking of. But quite a nice way to catch up. A bit miserable to catch up on the bus though. Haha and our dear friend is still attending his gf's catholic church. Wonder if he's a catholic now.

It's so random, but I'm excited that Xiao is coming to church on Saturday! Erm a bit strange to invite her for a talk on a Christian's response to evil and suffering, but just ask first. God will decide how to speak to her. Maybe it'll spur something in her after we've visited a thousand and one churches, cathedrals, basilicas etc. Keeping my fingers crossed and praying hard. Maybe Ted will come too. Haha goody, two at a go. Even better. =)

For the first time in my 20 odd years in Singapore, I took the River Boat ride for the first time yesterday evening. How interesting! Felt like I was a tourist in my own country. Looking at the skyline of Singapore from the boat is quite different. Haha neither have I viewed UOB plaza from the river. Cool. The nice thing was that I took the ride for free! Haha cheapo-nana.

It's actually part of some job training. Thanks to Mister Xionghai, he convinced the people at Clarke Quay River Boat to take on another pair of hands to sell the ride tickets. So hopefully, this will occupy me for a month before official work starts. Not earning much, but at least to feed the ever-expensive transport costs now that it's adult fare. Yucks.

This ride also came at quite an interesting time after looking at how river or canal rides are done in Europe. We saw quite a few, but only took one at Cambridge. It's called punting, and all the rides are done by Cambridge students. The boat companies hire them to run the rides and introduce Cambridge to tourists. Very different from Singapore's rides cuz the commentaries are done in person and you get to strike conversations with the punter; unlike Singapore's super-unfriendly tape recordings.

There were also rides at Versailles (France) and Venice, but we didn't take them. Versailles was a silly reason to create opportunities for Xiao's Ted to give her a ride. Stupid him didn't get the idea of a romantic ride. What the heck. And Venice was just too expensive. Oh man, but the boats are so classic! So poor us, just took pictures and sat by the canal looking at people in the boats.

Yup, so Clark Quay might just be the new hangout for me if they call me back.

YOU ARE GOD ALONE - Phillips, Craig & Dean

You are not a God
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that's just the way it is

You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You're the only God
Whose power none can contend
You're the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You're the only God
Who's worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And that's just the way it is

Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That's what You are

:::

Xiao asked me why do priests and nuns give up their whole lives to make the vow of chasity and serve God, I guess this is what they might be singing in reply.

EUROPE WAS FABULOUS!

Touched down this evening in one piece, so thank God for His protection for all of us on the trip. Can't even imagine that I've been away from home for a month. It seemed just a while ago that we left Changi.

But all said, it's still nice to enjoy your little comforts of life like my bed and a clean toilet. You won't want to know how we bathed in some yucky shared toilet in Rome, and how I slept beside a darn urinal in Tours, France. Sick.

Ooo, we got to catch some real soccer fever while in Europe. Starting from the 2-matches a day routine in Derby, England with the Riisnaes to the climatic finals with the Italians in Rome. Good! I'm slowly getting the hang of what all the soccer craze is about. Still learning more about the rules of soccer like off-site and penalties etc. Trying to learn more names of the various players. Lemme try rattling some names to trigger my memory: Meterazzi (irritating Italian player who got head-butted by Zidane), Cannavora (cute Italian captain frm Jevuntus, what the heck I can't spell), C. Ronaldo (tricky one frm Portugal), Jens Lehman (brilliant goalie frm Germany) blah blah blah...

Europe is really so amazingly rich in terms of culture and architecture. Every city and town is unique in terms of the people and sights. And it's so hard to compare and decide which are the favourites. England is cool for the traditional English stuff and countryside, with amazingly lovely weather apart from the dullness of London. France itself has many different sides with the different regions. Germany's old town Dresden is very much untouched by the war. Prague is a reflection of Eastern Europe. Italy offers amazingly lovely landscapes.

The whole backpack experience has been wonderful and enriching. To explore new places beyond our little island, to expose ourselves to the many different cultures, and just to throw ourselves to the larger unknown. No regrets for making the trip to Europe. Everyone ought to save up for their own pilgrimage to anywhere in the world for their little backpack.

Lotsa great moments travelling with the girls. Can't wait to look at the tons of pictures again. Quite inspired to save up for a future trip to Spain/Greece/Scandinavia. But that will be a long way more to go. Must get back to normal life and ready myself for official work.

Last call... Last call to board...

Sheesh, we're leaving tonight. Can't imagine this is it man. 3 girls going on our own trip to the big wide Europe. Going with lots of different emotions - excitement, anxiousness, joy, fear, longing... Pure estacy. Kind of like my first taste of independence. Travelling alone w/o the family or guides. Being responsible for our own well-being in the unknown. So this is kind of it. I'm praying real hard that nothing goes wrong and all will be smooth and all so nice.

But people who know me will know what a worry-wart and a paranoid I can be. Thought that I was the one who worried the most during the whole planning stage, so kinda psychoed myself to not think so much and just go and whack it. Until we met up with the ruggers on Friday. Goodness, more scary stories of trouble and danger in Europe. Grr.. Made me even more paranoid. But I'm absolutely glad that I went for the session in church on Saturday. Reminded that we shall not fear for the Lord goes before us and is with us. So do not fear for everything is under His hands. Shall carry this with me throughout. As my dear Ah Lian said, "keep prayin each step of the way".

Thanks to everyone who will be praying for the bunch of us. If you wanna know who's going together - Wensi, Stephanie, myself and Xinyi (who's studying in UK now). I'm sure God will answer all our prayers.

Keep you guys posted of what's going on if possible. Ciao!

Our dear princess with a balloon band around her.

Finally learnt how to post photos. So not tech-savvy.. Just dug some old photos to test out. Random ones I guess.

This is it man! We're all set to go (cept for all the packing lah - haven't started) but yeah, everyone's psyched up to go and all. And I've finally got the camera...

Thanks to everyone who loaned me your precious things: Qinlei for her wonderful backpack, Amy for her money pouch, Chock & Yee Lin for your memory cards!

Thanks also to Shiwei for taking the girls for BS for the month. The girls are thrilled to have you back as the BS leader too!

As we edge closer to departure day, it's more and more busy. Changing of more currencies, packing of bags, finalizing the presentation.. Thank goodness Steph is collecting all our important train documents. Can't trust me to do this. I may lose all the passes.

So it's countdown to meeting the ruggers on Friday for our annual dinner first!

Thanks soo much for everyone's prayers! I'm feeling a whole lot better after the awful fever, chills, runny nose and flu over the wkend. Still struggling with a bit of sore throat and stuffed nose. But hey, it's so much better than the wreck I was over the wkend. Even sent my bro for his Chinese Os this morning (explains why I'm up so early).

Received some travel insurance certificate this morning and boy oh boy did I realise what a muddlehead I am. I put the dates of the insurance coverage totally wrong. The correct dates should be across a month, but I put in the wrong month. So the policy only covers 2 days for 3 of us clueless travellers. Humph, and I still wondered why NTUC Travel Policies are so cheap. I'm praying real hard that they'll amend the policy for me and then I'll just pay the difference rather than going through the online application again. This is also what I dislike about online payments cuz blur people like me tend to make a whole lot of mistakes with online forms.

But all's said and I cross my fingers that they'll be nice people who'll change em for me. Should be meeting the girls later on to purchase some more train tickets and get the gifts for Dave and family. Heard they're nice folks who'll house us even though they're all geared up for World Cup fever.

Even though I don't follow soccer all that much, but I do hope we'll catch some of the kinda massive craze they have in Europe! Who should I support? Hmm we'll see. But anyhow it's gonna be darn crowded everywhere in Europe with this season going on right smack during our 1 month stay. So it's both a gain and could be a real pain in the ass.

THIS MAN - Jeremy Camp
In only moment truth
Was seen revealed this mystery
The crown that showed no dignity he wore

And the king was placed for all the world
To show disgrace but only beauty flowed from his face

Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands

He held the weight of impurity the father
Would not see
The reasons had finally come to be to
Show the depth of his grace flowed with
Every sin he erased he knew that this was
Why he came

Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands

And we just don't know the blood and
Water flowed and in it all he showed just
How much he cared
And the veil was torn so we could have
This open door and all these things have
Finally been complete

Oh American Idol, American Idol. It starts to lose it's appeal with each season. Less and less grand finale/results show. It's only some fireworks at the end. Maybe it's just boring cuz it isn't Christ Daughtry who won. Taylor Hicks isn't all that bad, but boy he needs some dancing class. How can he start grovvying down for EVERY song? Strange footwork too.

With each season, popularity of the singer dies too. The only one left standing tall and strong is Kelly Clarkson then. Oh well, even if Catherine McPhee didn't win, with her smile n looks, it'll snare her some print ads easily. Then there's the Mustang convertible too. Oooo..!

Wonder what will come of Singapore Idol. Good? Bad? Average? Hmm.. Hopefully it's a good watch with some solid personality. No more Chinese Kungfu Rapper, Singapore Cowboy, Careless Whisper, Do-Re-Mi and what-have-you-nots.. Bbbbbrrr, shivers down everyone's spines.

I'm sucha TV junkie

No idea what I'm doing with the hols. Had this whole list of things that I mentally formed during exam period which needed to be done. Such as arranging the Chiang Rai photos (gosh it's been a yr since we went there) pack my closet (it's a mess) and my room (still a mess after exams).

Never seem to get my butt out to do any of those. (I've even got a gutt feeling that somewhere in my house is some super old photos back in 2000 that I took from Elliot. Yikes, haven't even distributed them as I was supposed to) Even the supposed morning runs have only be materialised into 1 miserable walk. And I didn't even make it to Ming Bao or Amy/Joe's place. Just around my tiny neighbourhood. Gross.

Enough's said about life here in Singapore. Can't wait for next mth to come actually. All the uncertainty before us. Never did anything really spontaneous in my life. Maybe it'll come when we're there. But what the heck. We'll just go there and whack it out. Then there's Penang again in August. Boring lah, but I hope it'll be mad fun with the rest who are going.

Meantime, I'm just counting down to meeting the ruggers again! Can't wait to hear from Jac about her stories in Canada/US and haha obviously grill her about some new guy Darius. Looks like we'll get prata treat soon too! Too bad Mighty Mouse Jieren won't be going, or it'll be double-prata!

Had my first taste of teaching in a primary school last week. Goodness gracious, it was a whole new experience. Nothing really fantastic as I thought it would be. Kids can be so monstrous when they're in school.

How guai kids we were back in kiddo days where we'll just shut up or mumble in whispers when the teacher walks in. But fast forward a couple of years and OMG! They actually scream at the top of their voices like everyone's deaf! And I stepped into some class with two boys getting into a small fight. I asked them to stop and they just continued. And THAT WAS IT. Just barely 10mins into class, and I slammed the table and shouted at them. Argh! Didn't even care that I kinda shocked some of the smaller girls, who probably were thinking what on earth is this new relief teacher who's not even much bigger than them doing. But yeah, my patience is limited when it comes to serious stuff.

Playing with kids is really fun and exciting. But not when they're irritating you and when they're in school for serious stuff. Esp when it's inside a class. Outside class, my eyes are closed. Do whatever you want. Ack..

Anyhow I'm probably going to be back in that sch for a couple of more occassions (according to the admin auntie who told my mom - a pri sch teacher) I pity my mom for having to talk to them at the top of her voice just to get their attention.

Maybe I'll be more prepared the next round and play interesting games with them. More sudoku with the P6s? Table soccer or handball for PE? OHP version of board games? Dunno. We'll see.

Thank goodness the week ended with a nice little baby called Issac Tan. Hahah he's such a dear. So mild. The only baby who I know has a cry that actually sounds like music. I thought babies wailed. He kinda whimpers. Haha so soft. But he's a darn cute baby. A happy and smiley baby to be exact. I'll carry him again next week. Nice conclusion for anyone's week. Joe & Amy are blessed with such a wonderful babe. Thank God for that man.

Can't imagine that I've just taken my first paper today. Think God is totally awesome and gracious. Just yesterday I was having mild fever, body aches, runny nose and a bad throat. Must be all the coffee that I've been taking to stay awake while studying with the rest. Or maybe it was because I feasted the whole of the Easter egg that I got over Good Friday. Oh well, whatever the case is. It's amazing how I only had blocked ears and a dry throat during the paper itself. Amazing eh! And you think that fevers usually manifest itself even more so after a day. Kinda strange but it was totally ok during the paper. A little tired now and sensing the onset of the fever again, but I'm sure that with everyone's prayers (thanks to dear Rou and my BS group) it should be manageable.

Eagerly awaiting the last paper on the 10th. Final taste of freedom from school! Although we've kinda planned out what we're gonna do for that day (with Rou and Queenlay), it's kinda not the typical things people do after exams. We'll see how it goes. It'll be fun.

A whole lot of things to do after the exams, especially planning for the trip and making arragments with the school about Dresden. It'll be great fun even though it's a rush for everyone. But yeah! First to Europe, then to Bangkok with the company!

I so love to travel..

Think my blog has sorta died over the past weeks. Anyhow I haven't got a good reason to resusitate it. But since I'm so bored after reading boring notes, might as well blabber around.

We're just the few idiots left in school waiting for the last paper to end (and we'll be officially graduates! no more undergrads..) A friend asked if I'll miss NTU, and without much thinking, I just said NO. Sounds so cynical and disassociated from school but yeah. I don't miss school. I don't worry about not keeping in contact with my small circle of friends, but that's just about it. NTU has totally no fond memories except the friends around me. Kind of like some transactional thing that you have with the school. Come and study -- that's it.

People might think this is so sad, that I've wasted 3yrs in Uni. But hey, it's ok for me man. I look forward to more things outside of NTU during these 3yrs. Just move along after graduation with my friends. Even boring NJ had more fond memories - the rugby team and our infamous coach Big Fat Rong.