Can't imagine that we are going to be married before family and friends in 1month and 4days. So surreal and exciting.

Had a good break with pork chop yesterday cos it's his off day before YOG work notches up another gear. Nice day of just moving around JB together. =) haha like a mini holiday

I seriously can't wait for our honeymoon. Yay!!

Sent from my iPhone

Distributing paper flyers is not environmental friendly. I wonder who reads them. I just take becos I think those uncles distributing them want to finish their job and return home soon.

Sent from my iPhone

Decided to take the train from Boon Lay today instead of going back to Pioneer station so that I had a seat. Gosh the train was uber crowded! Ppl squeezed shoulder to shoulder. I even had trouble trying to grab my tissue paper from the bag when I sneezed.. *faints*

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise when I sneezed so much and continuously that everyone avoided me. Haha! So I had a "circle" of space when everyone tried to avoid sneezin woman. Hahahahaha! I discovered some new tactic to "buy" myself some personal breathing space on peak-hour train rides..

Signing off cos I'm heading into the underground train tunnels.. *ah choo!!!*

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I'm getting the pre wedding jitters. So much to do and I hope to start hiving out duties for our helpers. We cannot possibly see to every single detail anymore. I will just trust that all help will fall into place and we just focus on the day and saying our vows before God. So gun cheong until my heart pounds fast at the thought of all undone work. Our emcees and band don't even know what do to or play! Ahh!!

Some ppl can really talk and talk and talk. Was trying to get some much needed rest time on the train to work. But was unfortunate to be beside 2 ladies who continued endlessly about their school, registration for something and what not. Now I'm extremely tired and about to collapse into slumber anytime..

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I just can't resist myself from posting this up. Had so much fun trying to do a digital scrapbook for our wedding photo montage. Haha, my favourite one for tonite.

Gotta start scanning more of my pictures cos I didn't scan enough of my own. Haha, so I've been doing Dearie's one first.

Ahhhh why am I up awake and in office when the weather is so good! I feel so lethargic with these kinda rainy days. Makes me wanna head home and sleep. Yikes.. Sleepy sleepy. Have been dreaming every single night that I'm sooo tired when I wake up. Even sleeping earlier doesn't help. Sigh. I need beauty sleep. Totally hate waking up in the mornings..

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Quote of the day from FB - one of the worst feelings in the world is having to doubt something you once thought was unquestionable (or should be unquestionable).

So pissed. Persistent cough doesn't go away and keeps coming back when I get agitated. Terrible night. Tires but can't sleep. Sitting up against my bed and my bronchial asthma seems to be coming back. Crap. Angry. Wish I'm staying alone so that I don't have to feel so bad for coughing and disturbing everyone at home. Try to cough softly and stop but cannot. Time of the month coming also and I can feel myself snapping at myself. Sounds stupid but true. Since I should not snap at anyone else, I'm snapping at myself internally. Grrr...

Prayer written by Bishop Dr Robert Solomon:

Lord, draw me to yourself as I behold Your cross. May my ears be sensitive to Your voice amid the noises of this world. Let me be grateful for what You have done for me. Give me courage to do Your will. Amen

Tires tired tired. Ages since I exercised so much and did the (almost) complete set of gym routine I used to do with Nicole.

20mins of running at 8.9, 100 sit ups, 45 arm lifts (whatever you call that thing you pull from above your head to shoulder level), 45 leg presses, 45 leg lifts and another 45 thigh push (or whatever is that thing you stretch thigh muscles). Still short of the bicep press, lifts, ab lifts and plank exercises. Can no longer finish all of these within 1hr..

Legs were so tired that i froze in the showers and took ages to walk back to office. Bleah..

Shall aim finish the complete set within 1hr in future. 2 more mtgs to do it. Possible??

Happiness.. Enjoying the pockets of time at work where I can breathe, think slowly and have a more balanced life. Had thought that my work would be very bad at this time since I have to write a report, coordinate some things for Internal Audit's checks on the dept as well as handle the project work. Was kind of crazy a while back when all 3 pieces of work came crashing at the same time. Thank God that things have spread out and I don't have to work OT all the time. Thank God for granting me His strength to moe through each day and energy to work.

Tires tired tired.. Keep dreaming about random things at night and spoiling my sleep. So tempted to take half day and chill out. Reached a point of siandom with then thought of having to work. Think it's not about the nature of my work but just not wanting to work..

Feel like I'm back in my childhood days when I'm sick and my nose is completely blocked. It's stuck no matter how much I try to blow it out. Yet I can't sniff it back in. Aghhhh..

So now I'm just sounding very gross and un-ladylike becos I'm very nasal and having nose problems.

Wonder if I should sit up and sleep, or jus sleep with my mouth open so that I cab breathe but risk making my throat very dry by tomorrow morning. Hmm...

Anyway medication is kicking in and I'm feeling drowsy again..

Welcome home dreamland!

Tired tired and more tired frm looking at my work. Eagerly waiting for
the say to end. I can almost concuss at my workstation after this
morning's mentally exhausting, ad heated argument with the external
party. Shiong.. Still have two more of such sessions to go..

God grant me strength and perseverence this day..

Do bosses know how mch work we have on our plates and are they
reasonable enough to push away less important things? We are short on
headcount and yes effort has been made to hire. But the fact is that
we are still short handed in the interim. Why still ask for so much to
be done?! I've already said that I cannot turn around my work fast
enough.. :( I've even been blatant enough to ask them which piece of
work is more important and how fast thy want to turn around. Blah. All
so idealistic.

How to make bosses talk to one another since I've got multiple pieces
of work and reporting to more than 4 bosses during this period?!

It's not as if we are doing something which is SOP and we just need a
pair of hands to get the job done. More often than not we are talking
about dealing with situations we've not dealt with before, and so
require brainstorming. Argh. Brainstorming takes so much work and mind
juices!

This is probably a spur of the moment comment but I'll still say it. I
wished I was inconsiderate, selfish and not a team player. Just opt
for going on fed course and just extend for a holiday. Then I could
perhaps avoid all of these mental stress and not have more white hair.
But I also know of someone who wished she's not going so that she
doesn't have to uphold some gentlemen's agreement to stay on for
another 6months. Well done deal and there is no point complaining cos
I will still be around and deal with all of these in my stride.

As me and my sad colleague always say - suck it and just do! :(

First, have to squeeze with ppl who are sweaty and not smelling as
nice at the end of the day. Then cannot get up the train even though
it's supposed to be school holiday period. Aaaaahh, why is our public
transport system so over worked. Wonder if other major cities in the
world is the same. I might only appreciate what we have until I've
experinced worse..

Signed off by the woman who always has some gripe abt Singapore public
transport system. Lol

Hmm I'm surprisingly upbeat even after I leave work. Morning was a
huge struggle (yes I'm increasingly like Melissa. Completely not
morning person) and my energy level increases after that until abt mid
nite before my brain crashes down. Then I become a vegetable for an
hour before my energy level comes back up after 1am if I watch tv.
Haha.. Body clock so not suited for normal wrking hours. So strange
because I've been consciously sleeping at midnight. Haha..

Anyway I'm super excited that I'm leaving office earlier than usual
and without some mental baggage that I've gotta be early on office the
next day to clear more work. Things for now seem manageable and
actualy do-able.

*thinks hard*

On days such as this, I'm thankful that I'm working where I am. Shall
not say for sure that I feel like this everyday. But good enough for
now :)

Hmm sometimes people really do quite strange things.

I just saw a lady curling her hair with a curler, put on make up,
dress up in the gym toilet. Did all of these while standing on sky-
high heels in the ladies toilet which has clean floors. Wonder why she
bothers to make herself endure such stress from the heels, as her
whole dress up process was so long. I saw her when I first changed to
hit the gym, and she was still there after I finished working out,
bathed, packed my gym gear and left. C'mon, this woman even brought
her full hair curler set to the toilet! It was as if she as going to
the gym for some photoshoot of a girl on a date. So weird!

Thought it was mere coincidence to meet such a strange lady cos most
of the ladies I see at the gym are normal folks. Then came lady number
two. Let's call her GI Jane (she looks like a female version of GI
Joe). She went into the changing room and started whisperin to
herself. It was as if she was having a conversation while alone in the
changing room! Mad!

What's with people these days man! Too stressed up from a city
lifestyle.. IMH might just get busier with the passing of each
generation of city dwellers.

Tired, very very sleepy, blister on my toe, carrying heavy laptop and
jus plain grumpy.. Bah!

Went to Chen Li Presbyterian church this evening for a talk by an
Aussie youth pastor on re-thinking youth ministry of today.

Really very refreshing and a reminder that I still have the heart more
for the teenagers (even though I admit that there's some kind of
generation gap now) than the young adults. God has opened my eyes
during my period of service in YZ to see the immense potential of a
youth and what he/she can do for God. It's quite unlike a young adult
whose thoughts and ways have already been very fixated in a certain
way that it's hard for them to even change for God.

While teenagers could be thought to be brash and wilful, it's also
this very strong passion for things that make or break. Spur them onto
the right path with God and it is likely that these life principles
carry them through life.

Yes, there is the issue of how strongly do young adults cling onto
these life principles they learnt during their teens when they star
facing a whole slew of new decisions, circumstances and temptations. I
won't profess to be good at it as a young adult myself. In fact, we're
all on the same path of self discovery and lifelong learning and
experincing God. But what I know was that I can look back and say with
more confidence that it was no mistake serving Christ actively. Even
if it meant a lot of hard work juggling school work, CCA and church
ministry/ activities, I never forget how dearly I clung onto God for
everything in my life. To learn from Amy Chan about discipleship, to
learn from Pei Fern that crying for the lost is not a sign of personal
weakness, to learn from Zhiqiang and Dav the passion that drives them
to sacrifice much personal time to build relationships with us in the
journey of disciple making etc. The list goes on..

What I am saying is that we do not lose focus of why we serve and what
is our ministry is. To be Christ like, both in thought, word and deed..

Think I've had a bit too long a break from hectic and stressful work
days that it's hard to get back into the groove. Either my mind
panicks or it slips into a state of daze and inactivity.. I'm quite
screwed for this year's appraisal. Hmm then again it might be a gd
thing and I'll cruise through. :P

Met up with George and Chao Pak last night to look at the wedding
photos we took at Bali and also George's Singapore shots that he took
for us.. Wow, George really put in lotsa effort to look at the photos
and edit them. Truly his passion. But can see that it takes a toll
when he's also juggling with a full time job and being a young parent.

Hee hee phototaking (both taking of others and being taken) can b
quite fun. Of course, not professional or good model to know what to
do. But the fun is doing silly faces and laughing at yourself when u
see them. Taking of others is also to capture moments which strike u
when u are at some place. To snap the essence of the people, place and
atmosphere.. Nice.

Anyway, thank God for providing all the little things for the wedding.
Etc, church venue, friends and family who help us out, contacts for
good and cheap deals, wonderful photographers both in Singapore and
Bali..

Signing off frm my dad's cab while I make my way to church... :)

Whee! Iphone blogging works! Yes, I'm a tech-idiot. I just learnt it. Whatever.. Now I can blog on the move! LOL

Hmm my first attempt at posting direct to the blog frm moi iPhone!
Testing 1.. 2... 3.... Ready??

Today is yet another reminder that I shouldn't take things for granted.. All things fall into place not because of our fantastic or flawless planning, but all things are held together by Him. Just as He holds the heavens and earth together, He too holds all of us up.

The omnious clouds this morning dampened my heart because it was not ideal for pre wedding photos. Amazingly He answered my prayers and cleared the sky and clouds away! George and crew were great too! Great eye for nice shots and lovely company! We really thank God that He just let this opportunity for a shoot to happen..

Although Dearie met and accident (because someone collided into his car while he was stationary), I still thank God that he was safe. Very proud of my Dearie to be able to collect his emotions after dealing with all of it and rushing to church, and still be able to go on with the shoot. You rock Dear!!

It's our prayer that the insurance claim will go on smoothly. Pray for justice to be served by God and that the motorcyclist would be truthful in his report. Pray also for the pizza company to be reasonable and objective in fulfilling the bumper replacement costs.

I don't know what would lie ahead of us. Whether the insurance case would move on smoothly, whether this would be done amicably. But I know that all things are in His hands and I have to surrender it to Him. I trust that the Lord will see to that justice be served and the innocent would be rightly treated.

Not my will but Yours Lord.. Thank you for all that you've freely provided to us..

Sometimes you can be just so frustrated at your dad for not being a normal dad. Why must he always interfere with me life? I'm getting married and not him. Why must he invite so many ppl until I've gotta now manage n settle his lan tan zi?! Told my mom this morning that it is not an easy number that we can manage. But no one understands!! Now we've got a big problem becos of my dad's wonderful idea to invite the whole world when the church cannot even cope with it.. I feel like scruyying off and just get married in Bali or somewhere where it's jus us and no one else. I'm so frustrated at him that I just tear uncontrolably. Why must it turn out like that? Shouldn't everyone and or families be happy?

I'm gonna be very insistent for once in my life and make sure what we plan goes thru. Enough of them controlling my life, telling me what to learn, what to study, what to work as.. I think no other person would be as guai and not talk back.

I will make sure I don't cry when I start arguing with them. Old enough and they must just let go. (sometimes I wonder if they would've been more relaxed if I studies abroad or stayed in uni hostel through out the 3yrs)

Hmm hv been trying to find an iPhone app that allows blogging. Somehow wordpress and blogwriter lite doesn't support blogspot.com sites.. So here I am trying it out frm blogger.com directly instead.. Wish me luck..

Young people have such great capacities to be active vessels for God in everywhere they are. While I've moved on from serving in YZ, it still cheers my heart to see the youths encouraging and spuring one another in Christ. Looking back, I never once regretted spending the 6yrs taking my group of girls. It was a long time of my life, but I've learnt much from them. Even now as the previously-younger ones have stepped up to serve in various areas, it's a reminder that whatever time we spend with young ppl is not wasted. We are placed in a very critical age of their lives that we can influence them in the way of the Lord.

Yesterday's sermon was about parenting. Though it was more for parents, the message was nevertheless relevant for all leaders. One thing he shared - if you don't influence your child, someone else will. And it made me think of the work of a youth leader. Indeed, it's the sharing of our lives that we may be able to influence the life of a young soul. To influence them in the right direction also means we've got to be in tune with God's heart and mind.

During the sermon, I saw a young boy whom I recalled to be a terror at Sunday School. He and his brother would run around the church, making a din and not being cooperative with Sunday Sch teachers. Yet in the inside of this skin of a little terror was a boy who knew how to love and demonstrate love. He was seated beside his mom in the sanctuary and the air-con was blowing strongly at his mom. And without his mom saying that she was cold, he took the jacket and tucked it over his mom's shoulders. Adjusting it constantly to make sure it was covered his mom properly. Using his scrawny small arms to wrap around his mom's shoulders, trying to give her some warmth. It was really a heart warming sight.

And today, as I watch the video of the recent Youth Camp, it shows of many glowing faces eager to seek God. It's not easy to be a godly young person in our current environment. Yet there are countless young ppl who dedicate their lives to be with God - even if it means being 'weird' in today's context. So I really salute those people who have dedicated their time and lives to mentoring God's new generation of believers. Likewise for those who have lead me all along in church. Praise God.

what's up with internet banking... despite where i come from, i quite hate it actually. it's both dangerous and troublesome. so many tokens, passwords and user IDs to remember if you've got many banking relationships. with the limited memory capacities of a normal human being, we end up jotting down these details somewhere or use the same set for every bank; both of which are very dangerous and not the ideal case your bank's IT personnel would advise.

extremely troublesome things that come along with technology.

spent a whole nite trying to figure out how to log into my hsbc account, and i realised i forgot my username. i'm probably locked out by the system after repeated failed attempts to test which userID i used. anyway they're gonna call me tmr to set it up again. thank goodness i don't have enough reward points to claim anything decent.

took time again to read joel's blog and his fb postings. can tell it's hard to deal with the loss of your wife and having to look after the 2 kids and juggling both work and home responsibilities. everytime that i read his blog, i can't help but hv my eyes wet a bit. looking at the 2 kids, it's so hard to imagine how to explain that amy will not come back to them. they know that she's in heaven, but i suppose no 2 or 4 yr old would really appreciate what heaven really means.

since amy will not be able to attend our wedding ceremony, i hope that her presence joins us with the kids being our page boy and flower girl. of course plus joe as well. hmm finding the right time to seek joe's permission to let the kids join in, yet i'm so afraid that it'll just make it more painful for him. will pray and see how it goes.

amy, you have really left a legacy. everyone misses you. though we could not meet up very regularly since you got married and when you were a strong warrior facing cancer, you have not left any of us. and i thank God that you were my bible study leader.

Liverpool - Singapore match - 26 July 2009 Hee, my first soccer match live. It's a bit strange that there were no live commentaries, like how it is on ESPN or StarSports.. Feels kinda weird. Well not bad, quite nice. As good as watching rugby. Heh.

Just received the news a while back that Amy has been called home... Even though we've kind of expected it to come, it's nevertheless shocking to hear of when it has really happened. Guess Joel is not taking it very well. Moreover, he's been there for her ever since they met in JC/Uni times. Your first love and the person whom you've set up a family with. No matter how sick she may be, it still hurts when she's gone.

I'm surprised that I've not cried immediately when Jian Hong msged. Think I kind of stared at my mobile for a while waiting for the news to sink in. Was supposed to do some work tonite, but I think there's more to life and prayers to be said than just to dig deep into work.

What should I say or do when we see Joe and the family tomorrow? I'm not sure. My mind's kinda in a mess but it cannot be worse than Joe's.

Take care Joe. Don't ever ever lose sight of what Amy has gone through with you, the family you have, and more importantly, the God who's understanding is far greater than yours.

Amy, thanks for being there to influence and guide my younger years. Pkg, Vien and my lives have been touched and enriched by your service and enduring love all these years. And I pray that you'll find the peace and joy which might have eluded you during this journey.

It's been exactly a week since I was msging Joe to catch up on the situation at home and Amy's health.. How things change over a matter of 1 week. Things seemed to hv worsened and the family's preparing for the worst.

Yup I've had my fair share of 2nd round of crying and I think be a wreck when it really happens. But the tears that we shed will never be the same as Joe's. My heart really goes out to Joe and the kids. When things in life seemed to hv falled right in place nicely. 2 lovely kids, warm family and a new place called home after waiting for 3years.. Then sucha bomb comes.

I've recently been starting to wonder what if it happens to me. A nagging thought behind me whispers that I've got all the wrong genes in the family and someday I'll end up either like grandpa or grandma. Ok I secretly hope it's grandpa's case of heart attack cos it was immediate. Well, it's a really morbid thought, but I think we all go through such moments in life when we space out.

Anyway, here I am sitting at my laptop supposed to do work but my heart tells me what's the purpose of this. Yet another part of me says that we need to put to practice what we've learnt frm Life @ Work - to do the best of our abilities as a worship to glorify God. Hmm, I shall just ponder for the next few moments deciding whether I shld start working on my report or just spend time chatting or just being around at home with the family..

Hv been whining and complaining more than usual lately about work. Things are piling up and everyone is stretched. So much to monitor, report, inspect etc.. But at times when I can step back and evaluate whether it is really that crappy work, I look back at the past when it was audit. The most horrendous time of my life. If not for the gd team that I've been, I'd probably not hv gone back after internship, or even lasted more than 6mths.

The kind of emotional stress of not meeting family and friends, just seeing your client and colleagues, struggling to stay chirpy even tho it's 11pm each nite was terrible. Working when you're hving jet lag and fever, and still balancing the stupid trial balance. Gross..

So here comes my internship senior asking whether I wanna join a new set up in financial advisory. I'm kinda scared out of my pants to go back there. Even advisory services isn't all that great. Yup the hours and overtime claims are better than mainstream audit, but you can't guarantee that you don't get seconded to other depts and clear crappy work. Boo..

Doubt I'll dare go back there. Besides, they're doing pay freeze and claming down on overtime claims. If I go back, probably get worse compensation package and a worse lifestyle. Eee... No no.. I'll endure whatever the current place give me and not go back to audit. Senior and Supervisor life there is worse worse than an Assistant.

No thanks, senior!

God's ways are higher than ours and sometimes it's hard to comprehend why He allows certain things to happen. When the world crumbles and looks so bleak before us, we wonder if there's light at the end of the tunnel. The good thing is that in His family, even if the light at the end seems so far away and unreachable, we still have family and friends holding candles to light up the place around us. To walk alongside us towards the end of the tunnel.

Whenever I think of Amy, I just feel like crying.. Met up with Xian and Serene, and we understood how things were when Xian and the band had a webcam session with Joe, Amy and the kids. Amy has shrunken a lot since the last we met her at her place. She's now left with skin and bones; her stomach cannot take any food and she keeps throwing up. Smsed Joe and heard that she's no longer mobile and very frail. She's only taking morphine and medication right now. The long marathon has also taken a toil on Joe and the rest of the family. On top of his daytime job, Joe's waking up several times a night to look after Amy and help with the injections. He's both physically tired and emotionally drained. Can even see it from his FB statuses.

Hv been msging Joe tonite becos I dn dare msg Amy (she's apparently very tired and sleeping 18hours on average). Can sense his weariness, and I don't really know what to say but just offer help when they need. Guess it's also hard for him because everyone in the family's too tired to handle any visitors, and the kids might not be familiar with the rest of us. But I'm sure at anytime he calls for help, the whole gang will come rallying around them.

Heard from Xian that the docs gave her 6mths when Amy was last operated on in Feb/March. Well, I just sat at my seat during lunch and stared at my soup. Kind of stunned for words or emotions right then.

It'll be wonderful if Amy can make it for John and Michelle's wedding.. I'm not even thinking of hoping that she'll come for ours, but at least she knows abt the gd news. We'll just wait upon the Lord and earnestly pray for His grace and mercy to be upon her..

Sometimes I wish we can read people's minds. It's so hard to guess what people are thinking. They may look ok on the outside but it's hard to tell if the currents under the surface are churning terribly. Really wish I had Jean Grey's powers..

Kia ora!

Just came back frm NZ the day before, and we all feel sick becos of the drastic weather change. But other than being a little under the weather, THE TRIP WAS SMASHING!! Awesome scenery, nice Kiwis we met, fantastic weather (we were sooo blessed to hv good weather for almost everyday where we planned our extreme sports), wonderful travelling buddies (we had 2 amazing cooks who came up with sumptuous food from simple items purchased frm the supermkts), and of course my Dearie!

Everything was soo good that I wish the 2wks there would last forever.. =D

Well, I'll be posting photos on my usual travel blog (cldn't do it during the trip becos we didn't manage to get free internet access) when we manage to consolidate our many many many photos. Hahah, I'm soo gonna relive the memories by looking at the pictures and videos we took.

Cherios!

Feeding my Jason Mraz craze right now
:::

:::

Boo hoo hoo.. I waited for my bro to finish Dota-ing the whole night so that I could log onto ICA website to apply for the passport, only to realise that both scanners at home didn't seem to start up. And I've gotta wait another day to get my mom scan the photo for me. Sigh..

Super tired lately. Never sleep well or sleep enough. Probably also makes me cranky. I just space out almost all the time. Running on auto-pilot mode, so I've been also saying things which I never really process in my head well. Hmmm...

Gonna concuss soon.. Another long day tmr, even though it's Fri..

Let me sleep without dreams or nightmares!!

My careless words has caused much hurt again. Bleah. Think I'm really not careful in my choice of words and how certain things should not be taken in the public domain. Irritated and angry at myself for being so wilful then do once again do things without going through my brain.

Sorry Dear.. Forgive me?

Was randomly surfing Youtube when I decided to check out Corrine May's videos.. Must say she really blows ppl away with that voice. I doubt anyone can sound so nice acoustic. Although this video was meant as a Christmas hymn, somehow I feel so moved listening to it. Guess it's also the setting; a nice little coffee joint, singing for a close bunch of ppl instead of a large concert hall, there's a person in wheelchair being ministered by this hymn. Almost perfect - haha only that I wasn't there to listen to her live. I'd probably have teared.

Here you go:

In the bleak midwinter

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,

Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;

Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;

Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.

In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed

The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, Whom cherubim, worship night and day,

Breastful of milk, and a mangerful of hay;

Enough for Him, Whom angels fall before,

The ox and ass and camel which adore.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,

Cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;

But His mother only, in her maiden bliss,

Worshipped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give Him, poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;

If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;

Yet what I can I give Him: give my heart.

Anyway onto more serious stuff. The wkend break was wonderful. To take half-days on both Thurs and Fri is absolutely wondeful!

Of course the highlight was spending time with Dearie at Sentosa. Strolling along the beach, wondering around Sentosa, snoozing by the sea. Heavenly! Wished the day didn't end and we could just slack around Sentosa. Or even better, somewhere in Bali! Get stuck there and never get back into city life. Hahah.. It was lovely!!

Oh gawd, I just caught the 5min explanation for the ending to Little Nyonya. It's ridiculous. Only local TV would go to such extent to explain their drama serials. It's all abt pleasing the audience. So crappy...

Grr, Dora Dora the Explorer just said her cousin gave her the $145 Jason Marz tickets for her bday. I wanna rob her now!!! Hahahah... Dora, you better be careful this Saturday. LOL

We all go through different phases in our lives. With each phase comes a different life lesson. Some phases are easy to go through, some are less so. But I suppose at each phase, there's something to remember; both the good and bad.

A close friend recently told me how she was thankful for the people who stood by her during her down time. It was a rough patch, but I'm glad she survived it and became more independent and stronger. Nevermind if she asked me a couple of times if I'd do the same as her, cos everyone's different and would've made different decisions. Glad to hear that she's really ok and can even look back at that time with knowing that it was a good life lesson, even saying she'll support her daughter if she had to go through the same.

Hmm, I wonder if everyone can survive the same as this friend. I'm not sure if I would have. But I know that people need those close friends and family for support when things turn grey. Don't wish I'd have to go through the same. Nonetheless, it's comforting to know that people you've known for years would definitely stand by you. Cheers to long time friends..

Thanks to EVERYONE who celebrated and sent their wishes over the past couple of days! Am truly blessed by God to have friends and loved ones like all of you. Really appreciate everyone's well wishes and blessings over all these years.

Of course the fact that I stand before you in this world is because of God's mercy. All glory be to God. Looking back, God has indeed been very gracious towards me. Life has been rather smooth sailing all these while; any so called set back was small as compared to what Job might have experienced. He has been there to provide me with a way out for all things and surrounded me with loved ones who have always protected me from all harm and showered me with much love.

Thanks Dear for being my ahmad on my birthday, picking me up and sending me home all the time. It's the simple things and the very thought that I treasure most. The most precious things are the purest and everlasting ones. Thank you!!

As I sit back and look at the world and people around me, God has once again proven to be ever present. We may not see Him physically as Adam and Eve have, but His spirit and presence is ever around us. He comes as the Holy Spirit, in the form of love extended from people all around us. Such is the manifestation of Christ.

While I'm still far from the being that Christ might want me to be, I hope to be able to praise the Father and the Son all though my life whatever things might be.
========================================================================

PRAISE THE FATHER, PRAISE THE SON

O sov'reign God, O matchless King

The saints adore, the angels sing

And fall before the throne on grace

To You belongs the highest praise

These sufferings, this passing tide

Under Your wings I will abide,

And every enemy shall flee;

You are my hope and victory.

Praise the Father, Praise the Son.

Praise the Spirit, Three in One.

Clothed in power and in grace

The Name above all other names

To the valley, for my soul;

Thy great descent has made me whole!

Your word my heart has welcomed home;

Now peace like water ever flows.

Yours is the kingdom,

Yours is the power.

Yours is the glory forever.

Somehow our local public transport has not, even after years of efforts, reached world standards. And this is for both our train and bus services.

Trains are not sufficiently frequent to cope with peak hour demands, resulting in overly crowded carriages where people are squashed like sardines. Sometimes I even wonder if MRT staff would one day start pushing passengers into carriages before the door closes on them - just like how we see it from videos of Japan and China's train services. Imagine not being able to get up the trains, enduring this both on your way to work and back home. Sucks big time.

Buses are equally bad. Frequency of bus services somehow do not match up to demand. I was totally irritated when I had to wait 30mins for bus185 tonite. I had waited sooo long that I was on the verge of calling SBS to ask if 185 was still in service (I did actually call Chris to check if he knew it was operational).

Ack, my entire journey home just from Clementi to Jurong took one and a half hour. Puke blood!

Stuff from my recent youtube addiction. Hah!

Hmm quite overdue, but here's some of the photos frm the Hard Rock pre-Halloween dinner!

Lucky
(Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat)

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

My new feel-good song that makes my day. Also makes me wanna fly off for another backpacking trip (one that's more than 1 month!!!)
::::::::::
NEXT PLANE HOME - DANIEL POWTER
I woke up early to baby blue eyes from afar
And when the sun comes through, lights you like the angel you are

I know I do you wrong
When I’m with you I’ve been gone

With every season change it looks the same
November to June
And on these empty streets I skip a beat the flowers don’t bloom

I can’t believe I missed your birthday again
And I want to come back but I just don’t know when

And I’m so lonely, you’re not here with me
That’s why I’m gonna be on the next plane home

The road that never ends round the bend I see you smile
I’d swim across the sea to be with you for awhile

Cause I made a life of being gone
Now the way that I feel is that I just don’t belong here

I stand around trying to make every moment and be somebody yeah anybody
It seems the whole world is taking me over I need somebody to help me get back to you

And I’ve always been a million miles away
But things are gonna change I just wanna come home

And you’re, you’re the only place I wanna see
That’s why I’m gonna be on the next plane home
Yeah I’m taking the next plane home
Now I’m getting the next plane home
Now I’m taking the next plane home

Real or camera tricks? Whatever it is, entertaining..

Really wonder how hosts of food shows can always be so chirpy and excited over food. It's just food.. Had a peek at Japan Hour a while ago and was so amused at how the Jap ladies were going goo goo ga ga over some food which looked so plain and unappetizing. They kept going "ooooiiiiissshhhiiii", "oooooo". Wah lau, it's just food lah. Dn need to get so high over food. Worse still, it was only bamboo shoots. Not even shashimi or some rare delicacy. The kind of responses they have after tasting those food is really bizarre to me. Cannot imagine myself getting to excited over food. Haha, I guess Pete wld know after I tried Relish's char siew burger. Of course it tasted fantastic, but I just can't get so excited like those Japanese girls. Haha.. I just savor it in my mouth and smile. No fireworks-or-sparkles-around-my-face type of manga effect. Haha!

Quite sian always doing serious stuff, hanging around serious ppl, reading serious news, holding a serious talk. And now I end up doing stupid things like checking out facebook. At least I stop short of randomly surfing youtube. Doing all this darn bimbo things cos I refuse to read reuters/bloomberg/FT etc news. It's so gloomy..

Well I'll just sleep cos lalaland is less serious. There are totally random and weird dreams, and can just stay there for quite a while (even tho it makes me tired the next morning). Haha so escapist. Hmm, at least it's sth less serious. Sometimes I wonder if there are any wacky ppl at work. Only Nic is the crappiest one ard. Meiyi's gone so there's only Nic left. Bleah..

God's angels must have been with us today on the expressway.. We were travelling on AYE to church when some car e-braked and caused the car in front of us to hit onto it. Luckily Pete was sharp enough to brake and we had enough braking distance before coming to a stop just inches behind the car in front of us. The car behind us was also amazingly able to brake and not hit us. But 2 other cars hit onto that car behind us because of the brake.

So there it was - 6 cars stopping in the middle of the most extreme right lane of AYE on a busy Saturday afternoon. Everyone got hit except for us. No scratches nothing. God's hand must have held both the cars in front and behind us such that we were surrounded by some space.

Also thank God that everyone was safe. Of the 6 cars involved, no one seemed injured or in trauma. Which was good, cos I remembered the car in front of us looked like a family. Thank God no one was injured.

Thankfully we also managed to leave the scene shortly becos Pete's car wasn't hit, and we were able to make our way safely to church.

Lesson: Pray for journey mercy before starting the engine to hit the roads. Thank God for bringing us back safely in a piece when we return home.

News about the Chinese manufacturer making terrible milk formula that caused the babies to hv kidney stones is appalling. Can't imagine how anyone wld even think of using those chemicals just to make the formula appear high in protein when actually it's just fluffed up with more water and unsafe chemicals! Seriously, I think we all know who are the ones who cld even set their hearts out to do this. Talk abt earning quick bucks w/o bothering if these are safe..

After so many episodes of food/product scandals, I wonder if we're still comfortable with buying things from China. Whatever we choose, even the big retailers wld continue to manufacturer their goods in China. "made in china" - stamped in practically everything we use. Oh goodness..

Interesting show which is quite funny. Then again, a girls-only movie. Think my brothers wld've pucked blood watching this with me. Heh. Hmm.. what shall I watch next?

Wonder why sometimes people are so serious all the time. Being in such a serious is both stiffling and has made me a bore. Grr.. Only avenue of madness is intranet chat (dn care if someone actually tracks our crappy conversations). But yes, my only way to stay less sane in an overly-sane environment.

Hmm which also explains why I'm chilling out at home, too tired to move from last nite's crazy mid-week ktv with the girls, and wondering what brainless movie I shld watch online.

was walking home frm the bus stop when i had the sudden urge to grab a tennis racquet in my hand and smack the tennis ball against the wall.. had a sudden adrenaline rush to start playing sports - tennis or rugby..! ahhh!

Wah it's the start of this frenzy of weddings again. Havta attend Boon Keng and Yvonne's one this wk, two wks later is Pauline and her erm.. Can't remember her fiance's name. Never met either. Thankfully (in some sense) Jocelyn didn't invite me to her wedding dinner in Oct. Haha! It's like what my colleague said, he kena one red bomb and I kena the other red bomb from our batch of joiners. *faint* it's the craze over having wedding dinners. Just checked out facebook today and realised another of my colleague also got married recently. Think hotels have not bad business.. If anyone's gonna invite me, pls hint to me earlier then I can save. Haha! Kidding. I'm all happy to join in the fun..

Yawn.. Absolutely tired this morning. Can't imagine how I overslept this morning and almost ran late until my dad gave me a surprise lift to work. Yeah, so tired now that I'm having a headache. Must be the terrible nightmare.. So tempted to take half-day off..

Watched this really touching video of a father enduring all things, bringing his son with him on this journey no matter how hard it is. Truly inspirational and touching - just like how our Father carries us so lovingly along our life's journey.

Bring out the tissue papers and hankies ppl.. More at http://www.godtube.com/

The past 6 days have been SWEET! Got to spend rare and lovely times with ya. Hee, really a very rare treat. Love it! Can't wait to take more days off or half-days again. Take care in camp!

I so love shutterfly. Beats facebook a thousand times for photo uploading. Yep, I'm not quite a camera whore.. I've only got old photos in my PC. Well, anyway they're finally uploaded.

Sheesh, how different we all used to look last time..

Strangely, it took a bus driver to realise I wasn't smiling and staring into space the whole journey back. Had got on the bus listening to music, so didn't notice that the bus driver was trying to talk to me until sth caught the corner of my eye. Well, I took off my earphones and chatted briefly with her; talking about things like how our city life has made us all tired. Everyone's going home late, spending less time at home and just repeating our cycles travelling to and from work.

Hmm although this wasn't exactly what I was mulling about on my journey home, this is one of the topics parked somewhere in my head which I think about when alone. Guess this is how I keep my brain active - thinking about things all the time.

Anyway what I was actually doing was re-playing what I had done (notice how I'm not using the word "accomplish) the past 24 hours. Wonder if I'm just a digit or figure of existence in the world or in people's lives. The world moves on without you, people can continue their lives without you. Not much difference whether or not you're around. Hmm I suppose this might be a little different for family, loved ones and close friends. But by and large, this is probably quite true. Which is why our real worth is not as a person on this earth but as a child of God.

Random thought: it brings me much joy to see children smile and laugh cos these are from the bottom of their heart. Just smile when you feel like smiling, frown when you feel like it. Not like how adults are; having to contain sometimes your frustration, smiling when you really feel like just giving a blank look. Nah, am just in a melancholic mode recently.

Might just take a day off to space out on my own. Go ECP, Botanic Gardens or just stroll along some park (if I know how to get there). That said, I'm sure I'll never get down to doing it becos I keep procrastinating my leave-taking. Gee, I really shld subscribe to my colleague's belief in taking quarterly breaks to refresh myself. Meanwhile, I'll space out in my dreams..

Irritating SQ website is not working when I want to redeem miles for the coming Bali trip. Grr... Why must it not work now? Sucha bad timing..

Anyway I'm so looking forward to holidays. Hmm maybe I shld make it a point to go for annual trips - regional or not regional. Just go somewhere to unwind. After Bali will be Spain/Greece! Found another kaki with same travelling pattern and hostel-loving kind. Haha!

Ok, back to trying my luck with stupid SQ website.. :(

Wow, just realised how loooonnngg ago was the last blog entry. Yep, working peeps don't hv much time or even energy to blog. Besides, our lives are boring. Like hamsters going through the routine of life - wake up, get to work, take lunch, work again, get home, sleep (repeat).

Must start thinking of holiday and psyching myself up cos as it is, my horizon looks endlessly dull. Haha. Need to think of work in little packets like how Jonathan does it - work hard and dive hard (only that I can't dive).

Hmm, I'll dream abt my exotic holiday for a start in lala land first. Then I'll try making it happen in time to come. Heh.. Not thinking of going Germany tonite after hearing Pete's 'sausage-making' story. Yikes...

Having hiccups like nobody's business after talking to Pete over the phone just a minute ago. Feeling like a baby that needs burping after a meal. Anyone to burp me? Haha, kidding. But seriously, this bout of hiccups is driving me crazy. 30 seconds haven't passed without a hiccup. No matter how much I drink or the old wives' tale of trying to hold my breath, that loud "hic!" is still around. Gosh.. Oh well, I'll just watch silly Ch5 programmes and wish that the hiccups disappear in no time.

Had quite an eventful journey from church to Marina Square today. Was on the road towards Marina via the CBD area, where I had to inch closely to some p-plate car with a whole load of teenage guys. Because of the road works outside Lau Par Sat, I had to inch closer to that car in front of me so that the van behind wouldn't be stuck in a middle of a traffic light junction. Yup, there I was trying to be nice n inching slowly until one of the young pucks stuck his middle finger out of the car window and at me. Grr... There I was behind some young punks and in my van with Dora. We were both shocked. Irritating young boys..

Not only young boys who can be irritating, old men can be too. Well, I made my way safely to Marina Square and was inside the car park trying to find a lot. Got lucky and found a lot but due to space constraints I had to squeeze at a corner so that the previous car could exit. I was reversing and trying to get into the lot safely when some old uncle just zoomed straight in and took my lot. I was appalled. Dora sat beside me wondering why I didn't horn that bugger or even scolded him. Well I guess I didn't wanna pick up a fight - quite typical of me. So I end up suffering by having to turn around the carpark again and again for another 15-20mins because of this lot that someone snatched from me. Grr.. Old men!

Sigh, boys of all ages can drive you up the wall. Sometimes being nice just allows myself to be taken for a ride. Hrumph!

Anyway back home and facing 2 teenage boys at home. Thankfully they're engaged in their respective computer games and not bothering me. Haha, good that they are rather quiet.

Hmm went for the long-awaited gathering w Qinlei last night. Rou already had some bday celebration with her friends, so by the time she ended (which was like 12.30am) we told her not to come cos Indochine was abt to close.

Anway so I still owe Qinlei a gathering at Timbre cos gun-cheong spider me thought it wld rain cos it started drizzling while we were in the queue. Yup, so we left and ended up at Orchard shopping n makan-ing.

I picked up all the nice dresses and asked her to try n show me. Grr... she kept avoiding the topic. Keep walking away frm me. Wong Qinlei, you better wear one n lemme see!

And she gave me the biggest bomb on our way back - asked me to drive her mom's car cos she was a bit groggy after drinking. I freaked out completely. Didn't dare look at her while I was driving. Eyes all peeled on the road. Thank goodness the roads were v quiet the whole journey back. And she was right to lemme drive cos there the traffic police was on the road summoning another guy for speeding. Hahah slow coach me trotted along at 70km/h the whole way back.

Anyway driving the car was quite funny. When we first left the carpark, I cldn't adjust to the sensitivity of her brakes and ended up doing a pseudo-E brake. Hahah she laughed at me and I panicked. Thankfully I managed to get a sense of it quite quickly. But my gawd, I was so scared the whole way home.

Hmm my arms are aching frm gym. Shall stop typing n put on the deep heat frm Pete. Pain pain.. Feels like I'm going back to rugby training n worse. Only that the gym instructor is a tad more smiley than Rong Jing Xing.

Tonight's Starry Starry Night marks YZ's 1st ever evangelistic garage band concert. Praise the Lord that everything went on smoothly. We had 2 salvation and 3 who indicated interest to know more abt Christ! Whee! All glory to God cos everyone were just the hands and feet to do His work; not ours.

This is also the 3rd gig we had in YZ. First was in 1998, the Waaahh concert which was a 70's theme. Second was in 2000, the Millenium concert which was more funk age. And now is the most big scale concert, with 100 over youths. Amazing..

Well the seeds have been sown (although I wished I had a chance to share, but somehow the youths at my table were not interested) so now we await God's perfect time to let those seeds grow and take fruit.

It was a good ride back home with Fred tonight. Although I was a little sian that we didn't join the rest for supper, I guess it was good time alone with him. Hahah, after he complained that I haven't been spending time with him as much nowadays. Got to talk abt his experience serving in a larger capacity this time round, and also learning how to juggle between demands in school and responsibilites in church. Fred also shared how Charles was telling him and the other guys that doing background work such as logistics was much 'safer' than those on the stage - because it's doing these things that you really serve God and is less likely to be carried away with personal pride. I thought it was amazing sharing from Charles (once again :P) and it was good that he shared with Fred, cos I cld see that Fred's perspective about service has changed dramatically. I hope it'll be something permanent and not just a 'spiritual high' that's temporary. Besides praying for the young ppl who have heard the gospel, Fred will top my prayer list. :)

Hmm it's time to take a rest and get ready for tomorrow's service. Wish it will be a laid-back Sunday after service so that can spend more time with Pork Chop, cos it's going to be yet another wk where we're like guys in army who only book out on wkends. Bleah. But then again, there's Starry Starry Night briefing. Wonder how long it'll take... Sigh, just live with it lor. Time is limited..

Can't believe yesterday was Eat with Your Family Day at work and I left work 2 hours after our official time off. I was probably one of the few pathetic souls left in office. Yucks, whole journey home felt so sian. Everyone's taking the opposite train to start the wkend chill out and I'm going home. Ok, only plus point was my mom was nice enough to help me dye my hair and I just watched TV with my brother as he was playing games. Anyway the dye didn't work - my hair's as black as ever. Maybe I shld just hv a bright blond streak like how I always wanted to try for fun. But then again, it's not a common sight at work and I'll stick out like a sore thumb. Bleah. Ok, I'll do that another time. No pink streaks cos they fade too quickly. Haha.. Randomness.

Life is so fragile. One day you're going to school, next moment the school collapses on you and that's it. End of the journey and no chance to see the world. I can't say for sure whether it's good - that you're back with God sooner, or that you've missed out on seeing more of God's creation..

But this doesn't change the bottomline; which is to appreciate the people and things around us while we can. Even as people stress over their worldly pursuits (money, career, house, car, club, prestige...) these aren't going to last. Imagine having the nicest and grandest house in the hit area of Suzhou or Myanmar. Whatever you've worked so hard for, or even gave up precious parts of your life for, is crushed and reduced to rubble in a matter of seconds. Is the satisfaction or joy that you had such posessions enough to see you thru the agony of losing the family when a tragedy happens?

I dont' think we even need to tread to the end of a natural disaster to realise that such pursuits are frivolous, temporary and empty. Just take a look at funeral wakes and you'll realise that there's absolutely no difference in the way a rich or poor leaves this world. We all just go back empty handed. Sounds cliche? But that's a fact of life.

I'd rather choose a close-knit family, love-filled, God-filled and meaningful life than an ostentatious life of the rich and famous. Hrmph, the rich have their problems too. Fewer possessions, fewer problems. Life is simple.

just when i'm whining about work and how i wanna laze, the scripture reading in today's devotion has reminded me to choose to be responsible and follow through the piece of work. guess God always knows when i start whining and immediately points it straight back at my face. but that's in a gd way - keeps me from being a 'soft and fluffy' believer who thinks i can get away with things..

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From Our Daily Bread:

I Don’t Feel Like It (Matthew 21:28-32)
He answered and said, “I will not,” but afterward he regretted it and went. —Matthew 21:29

Have you ever faced an unwanted chore and felt as if it were the last thing on earth you wanted to do? Mowing the lawn, doing the wash, cleaning the house, or even preparing a Sunday school lesson after an exhausting week can make us feel like procrastinating.
When this happens, my wife and I have a motto we repeat to each other: "I don’t feel like it—but I’m going to do it anyway." There is something about recognizing our lack of motivation and then choosing to be responsible that helps us follow through.
God’s value on faith and obedience can be seen in the parables of Jesus. Christ spoke about two sons who were asked to work in the vineyard. The first said no, but "afterward he regretted it and went" (Matt. 21:29). The second said yes but did not follow through. Then the Lord asked His listeners, "Which of the two did the will of his father?" (v.31). The obvious answer is the one who finished the task.
Our Lord’s illustration underscores a key spiritual principle. God is interested in our faith and obedience—not just our good intentions. Next time you are tempted to shirk your duties, why not say, "I don’t feel like it," and then ask God for the grace to do it anyway. — Dennis Fisher

O help us, Lord, to heed Your Word,

Its precepts to obey;

And give us strength to quench the urge

To do things our own way. —Sper
Obedience is faith in action.

nice blog template that reminds me to remember who i am in God's eyes. thank God that Shann was back in church briefly on saturday! credit to rach and sophie who made a surprise visit at Shann's place after BS. guess i've gotta spend more one-on-one time with the girls or arrange group outings like we used to last time :)

Taking a long wkend break is wonderful.. To take things slow and look at things around you. Went for the long-awaited cycling trip at East Coast with Pork Chop yesterday - amazing! The whole trip was really enjoyable. Taking in the things which we seldom see in the concrete city. Wondering why I never seem to have seen such lovely places in Singapore. No skyscrapers but nice sea view and greenery. Wished we just kept cycling and never got back to the city life.

Thanks for going with me Pork Chop!

Singapore's public transport is lousy to the core.. There's no frequent or even regular cycle for busses or trains and it's getting more expensive (check out SMRT's announcement on its bottomline today). Mere peasants like us are told to have confidence in our 'reliable' public transport system, but somehow I've had to leave my home 20mins earlier so that I can be at work early. If I had left just a little later, I'd end up late for work. Even so-called 'premium' busses don't work.

Need to gripe about the public transport cos I stood from the MRT right up to the bus ride home today. It was over an hour on heels, carrying my laptop. Now my lousy and frail backbone is aching. Sigh, even more tiring than running 2-over km on the treadmill. Thank goodness I was on the other end of the train carriage; unlike some very unfortunate lady who was stuck in the midst of many blangah workers (not that I'm being racist, but it's always very uncomfortable for a lady).

Meanwhile, I'll just bear with the public transport cos mere civillians like us can't do much except writing complaint letters which probably gets tossed into the trash bins.

1.5years ago it was the Forbidden City.. 1.5years fast forward from there, and we're here at We Will Rock You. Amazing isn't it?


The musical was fun. Reminds me of a sing-a-long session with all the Queen tracks. I liked it, but probably wasn't able to appreciate it as much as a true blue Queen fan. Nonetheless, the whole plot was quite fun. Not a huge storyline since it's just a time to bring out Queen songs, but good enough for me.


Hmm, maybe watching a musical shld be an annual event. Haha!

"Nothing" - Jeremy Camp's Stay

Well I must have been good I must have been right To see you standing holding, holding me tight With your arms around me i know that you are there You're never in the distance I always know you're near

Nothing i can do, nothing i can say Can make you love me more, your love remains the same You gave it all for me, you gladly took my place To rid myself of all, all my guilt and shame

I must have stood strong, i must have stood tight To yield the thoughts around me, the battle in my mind And knowing you surround me, your wings coat my despair Whatever my condition, the cross it shows you care

:::::::::::::

How apt when we study about Jesus' faithfulness for BS this week.

Juno - one of the only films on screen now tt's worth watching. Also the mind stimulating kind, rather than silly "Meet the Spartans" (alright it's good for a wkend brainless laugh)

The scriptwriter for Juno's brilliant. Able to intertwine both reality and some humor in it. Very interesting how issues such as teenage pregnancy, maturity, abortion, marriage, social strata, love etc are mixed in a very tasteful fashion and not to overwhelming. Like some film festival shows but not too over the top. Worth a watch. Thanks pork chop for the movie treat! Love it! :)

Have been thinking about the human race this whole week. My conclusion: humans are weird and ugly.

Take a little train ride each morning and you'll see the real facet of humans. Squeezing and shoving their way into the train carriage. I wonder where's the social graces. Even if you don't feel like pushing your way in, someone behind you pushes you forward. (Yes ladies are always at risk. Aunties are the surviving champs) This morning's train ride totally pissed me off. Someone along my bench was actually quarelling over some seat! Goodness gracious. Then when it looked like all was quiet during the journey, some other wacko came in shouting "please move in, there's not ghosts in the centre. I'm not the ghost. Why don't you want to move in? There are pretty girls to look at in the centre." Although all these people weren't talking to me, it just spoiled my day. Re-affirms my thought all week about how ugly people can be.

Maybe all we see is a facade of people and things. Beneath everyone is some deep and dark secret that they try to hide. Of course I'm human too and it doesn't preclude me from the pack. But it's a matter of what one's hiding. Is it something that compromises your friend's trust in you? We might seem to know someone for ages, thinking that we know all about them as we can. But truth is, maybe not. Maybe there are some things a person wishes to keep mum about. Hmm, but aren't people supposed to be truthful to one another? Can we not even blink when we say sth that our mind/heart tells us not to? Can we trust humans 100%? I think the better bet's with God.

Sometimes I wished I was as gulible as I was back in sch. Yup I know that I'm easily fooled, always trusting and always taking things as gospel truth. But isn't that better? It's easier to deal with a crying baby than an expressionless person. As stupid as it sounds, it might be better to live in a make-believe world and think that everyone's righteous. Than to discover years later that some thing you believed all these while is not what it is. I don't know whether it is better to know or not to know and live in ignorance.

Well some things don't change - our guts. Ack, this has just confirmed that my guts are usually more accurate than my rational mind. Bleah..

Looking at other people's photos of partying, travels and social gatherings etc kinda makes me feel like some big stick-in-the-mud. Like so loserish to rather spend time at home with my family, even if it means just sitting around watching tv.

Oh well, I've got no life. Just work and home. But I kinda am such a person. No social butterfly. Then that's where the conundrum is for me - feeling bored staying at home yet not a keen person of large gatherings.

Yup cheers to sitting at home and watching aimless dramas with my family. I'd rather spend time at home where we don't need to pretend to be very sociable. Close friends are gd enuff. Partying to hook up some networking is stupid.

Hahha, can't imagine how no life I am now. Playing silly online games early in the morning and chatting with ex-colleagues.

It's whenever my ex-colleagues ask me how's work/colleagues/life etc that I realise how much better it is to work with them. Yup audit sucks, the long hours and doing things that are seemingly pointless and non-value adding. But I guess it's the team that sustains everything. To suffer together and appreciate each other's work more. To be valued beyond your work - as a friend and not just a colleage/co-worker. Maybe it's just lucky that uncle boon's team is the strongest and closest knit within AABS21. Dunno. But well, I'll run along alone in the new work environment with that little group of newbies; my new princesses at work. We decided not to include the princes cos they're all married and one even tendered and took back his letter. I feel so pessimistic talking to him that I decided to stay away in case it rubs off me. Hahah!

Anyhow, I'll wait for the Labroy and CSE teams to come back to ORQ and we can have lunch!

Meanwhile, it's back to playing silly online games and waiting to have BS with the girls.. :)

Hmmm CNY second day.. How does everyone feel? Sick of all the snacks and bak gua? I am kinda sick of all the food already. Feeling bloated and over-stuffed every moment. Trying so hard to eat in moderation, but it's difficult when the elders keep asking you to eat. Oh well, so I'll just try to live with a big stomach for the time being. Hahhaa!

Feeling absolutely alert and awake after clocking in many many hours of sleep yesterday (maybe abt 10hrs) after I knocked out early last night.. But wow, it's gd to feel more refreshed after a bath.

Today's visitation was less hectic cos we didn't go to 2 places in the end. Well, my family's gonna visit them tmr, but I'll be giving them a miss this year. Prefer the slower pace of just visiting a few people will do. But I guess my dad's trying to keep the tradition of visiting all the elderly cos they don't see us any other time during the year.

Yup, so there's the CNY rush for my family... Phew....

The one final gathering at Yee Lin's place - the annual fellowship of that community of people who have shared their teenage yrs together.

Quite amazing how this group has evolved over the years.. Couples getting married, new ones getting attached (hahah like yours truly), married couples having first kids (most have progressed onto baby #2) and including new young adults we meet at YAM.

I absolutely love such gatherings even though it's not a very regular thing. It's lovely to catch up with folks you are close with. A community where you can be yourself, laugh out loud and tease each other for being so geeky as youths.

Aside from having nice fellowship, there's also the new topic of joy - laughing at the kids when they do silly things. So there it was the first photo of the kids sitting together on the couch. Those kind that we always had as kids, memories of our childhood friends. It'll be fun to capture that same group sitting on couches at different stages of their life; to see how they've grown etc. Tsk, I hope to lay hands on one of those photos for the blog. If not I'll just hawk over Dav's blog. (he never fails to amaze me in doing the most out-of-the-box things ever)

For now it's farewell to dearest package.. We'll see you real soon!

Hate it when I'm sick cos I'm like a walking burping bag - burp every few minutes. It was so embrassing this morning when I cldn't control my incessant burping in front of all my colleagues. How unglam and disgusting for a girl to keep burping. Guess I must stop teasing pork chop for his burps.. Bleah...

Saner moments in Bintan this year..

A timely reminder while reading on YZ's blog which I've marked out in my Bible ages ago. Guess I'm just the most boring nerd still believing in this, and proud to say that these verses speak the truth of how we shld conduct ourselves (I mean for girls. Guys can just read on whole of 1 Peter 3 for the whole picture).

1 Peter 3: 3-4
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.