Untitled Hymn Chris Rice

Weak and wounded sinner

Lost and left to die

O, raise your head, for Love is passing by

Come to JesusCome to Jesus

Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden’s lifted

And carried far away

And precious blood has washed away the stain...so

Sing to Jesus

Sing to Jesus

Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby

Don’t be afraid to crawl

And remember when you walk, sometimes we fall...so

Fall on Jesus

Fall on Jesus

Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely

And steep and filled with pain

So if your sky is dark and pours the rain...then

Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over

And music fills the night

And when you can’t contain your joy inside...then

Dance for Jesus

Dance for Jesus

Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat

Kiss the world goodbye

Then go in peace, and laugh on glory’s side...and

Fly to Jesus

Fly to Jesus

Fly to Jesus and live!

Copyright 2002 Clumsy Fly Music (ASCAP)

blue sky and white houses.. sweet!

Ahhhh Xiannnnn's birthday!

:photo courtesy of Shirley:

Psalm 19:7-11, 14

The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul;

The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple;

The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;

The commandment of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;

The judgements of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold; sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.

Moreover by them Your servant is warned, and in keeing them there is great reward.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight,

O Lord, my strength and my redeemer

It's been months since I've last blogged.. Just kinda spend my free time on everything else except for looking at any computers/laptops. Yup, talk about occupational hazards and trauma..

Exactly a year ago, I returned from a month long vacation that was so full of adventure and excitement. A year later, I sit in front of my laptop just being thankful that I managed to get off work on time today.

How things change in a short span of a year. No wonder they say the only constant is change.

Guess change can be for the better or worse. No one knows until the point when we reach that moment when change occurs.

Who knows what will happen a year later when I look back at this blog..

But nonetheless, I thank God for how He is the neverchanging pillar of my life - keeping me sane in the kind of craziness rush that I face almost daily at work..

Romans 8:28.. lesson learnt: all things are planned by God for our good..

Guess there are days when you just wish you can hide in some cave and not do anything cuz you don't know what is there to do or see.

Went to town with my bros and mom after spending almost the entire afternoon with my brothers choosing their shoes. Very sian, dunno what I'm doing. So just walk and walk along with them. No idea what's the big deal with GSS cuz nothing catches my eye, except for some bag which I saw but still didn't buy. Then came all the way home just to meet some insurance agent and get dinner for everyone.

That's my boring wkend. Think I better look forward to church camp.

Very sian for now. Don't even know what went on over the wkends...

Sometimes people at work just irk you to bits. And you can't do anything but smile and be nice. Well when your client complains to you abt your colleague, just be nice and defend your colleague. Hmm, better to always be nice to your client if not life is miserable.

Smile and take everything in your stride. Swallow your pride and be humble. Lesson learnt.

Thankfully I'm outta the terrible cave at tanjong pagar.

Finally went to YZ for a little while today. Wasn't an intended appearance but it was kinda good, even though I felt a little too 'old' and out of place.

I guess youth groups possess some kinda vibrancy that is uncomparable to other ministries in the church. It's the energy of the youths that rubs off, albeit I must say youths these days are not as fun loving as last time. Everyone's a bit stonned compared to when I was there as a little kiddo looking at people like Amy, Joe, Zhiqiang and the other old foggies. Heh.. Maybe that's why I always prefer 830 service to 11 service. Felt energized by Rach's worship today. Thanks babe! =)

Was walking around Ikea area in the midst of YZ when there was some program cuz my groups are all leaders by now, so I just hang around to look-see. Anyway, was walking and thinking about how or what should I be doing about my service. Do I stop after my girls (or should I say growing ladies, tsk) join YAM after that. Am I able to juggle between work commitments and serving actively? Is the youth group still a place where I should serve? Am I too old and no longer in tune with the little kiddos who have joined? Dunno. I just walked on and thought about these things.

Realised that just over the past couple of months since I returned from Europe, I've become really lazy. Maybe it's just me using work as an excuse or something. I'm not sure. Maybe it's also because the usual group of church buddies have moved along and there's less support. Fewer large group lunches, fewer talk-cock sessions.

But for now, one thing's for sure is that I will continue with the girls until they're 18. Wow, I've actually been with them since they were 13 - that's 5ys! Hahah, still remember them fooling around with me and the guys laughing at me for being more like one of them instead of their DGL. Hey girls, you guys have grown a whole lot more mature in a short span of 5yrs. Amazing..

Almost fainted when I was in the midst of filling up the first portion of some bank job application form, cuz I saw the wireless connection signal go off on my laptop just as I clicked save. How right could the timing get. Grr.... Well, my mom didn't know that I was using the internet in my room and turned the router off. Goodness, it always happens.

Oh well, so I stayed up all night to submit the application for that ONE bank. Gosh, I hoped to do like 2 applications tonite. But guess it's too late and I'm too tired also.

Argh, why can't MAS call me.... The other statutory boards sound so boring. EDB and MTI maybe, but MOF sounds so rigid.. We'll see how. God show me the way..

Went to Rochester Park with Pete last night cuz he had access to the company's empty bungalow there. My oh my, it's so nice lah the place. Absolutely quiet and serene. Lovely. The kinda old school type of housing. Haha my favourite. Floored by the nice place and interiors. Amazing.. Too bad we were both tired and didn't stay too long there. One and only chance to enter. But it was good! =)

Guess it's also the general atmosphere of the area at Rochester and the surroundings that makes a person feel very at home and relaxed. Away from all the noise and hussle that we face each day so that you can unwind and space out. The place even had a little walkway out to a garden that's shared between 2 units! Talk about walking out of your house into the greenery. Wah...

There's some unexplainable attraction about old colonial houses. Yeah, I guess it can appear a little errie at night (with all those scary drama serials that were shot with these buildings as backgrounds when I was in primary sch) but it's just very open and spacious. No little corners like the current pathetic and crazily expensive condos; they're literally iron cells. Something quite nostalgic about them and casual. Dream house!

Haha I always get laughed at by package for taking fancy in these old houses. Well, it's things like these that can look pleasing to the eye for ages and you won't hate it. Why would anyone enjoy shifting houses all the time?

Thanks for bringing me to Rochester! Love it!

Quite pleasantly surprised why the internet connection and access barrier at Hitachi Towers have been lifted. Too bad, we've shifted rooms beside Finance Dept for the time being. So this is very temporary only.

Anyhow, my nightmare has kind of started. This is a much much larger firm with complicated and complex processes.. Aggravated by millions of business grps that each function as a separate entity.. Large Finance Team (that some how seems to favour my male supervisor and other colleage over me) And all these makes my work so much harder. Just had a little snide remark passed by one of the accountants again last night. So there goes more un-answered questions that are piling up each day. Thankfully my supervisor is understanding and has decided to 'charm' his way to get the answers for all of us.

I still wonder how we can ever finish this. Cross my fingers and hope for a better day at work each morning..

Sheesh, this has been quite an eventful day at the stocktake. Had to walk under some puny umbrella with my client under the pouring rain just to look at some vehicle number plates to validate their existence. Gosh, why can't I just look at the vehicle log cards instead? Aren't they even better evidence of ownership? Dunno.. I'm not the planner. Just do what my superior says.

But it was quite interesting as I got to squeeze with my client at the back of some Mercedes convertible. Absolutely cool car! Oh well, dear's driving a nice car too!

Hmm, so here I am trying to figure out where and how to go to Dempsey road. And my always-reliable streetdirectory.com has just failed on me. Keeps popping up so many search results for Dempsey road without allowing me to select one of it. Crap... Now I've gottta read the street directory, which obviously I'm terrible at.

Whee! Little Dexter is at my place again! Just heard them enter the house. Maybe I'll go play with him. My little entertainment for Friday night. Hahah.. Cute kid. Absolutely intelligent and lovable. Just like Uncle Boon's Marcus.

It's funny to know that somehow this blog is tagged to the youthzone blog. Kinda like a bit of a subconscious thing that tells me to be more discrete in blogging. Talk about having a personal space to blabber. Oh well, somethings are just private and not for public broadcast. Heh..

But anyhow I thank God for an amazing amazing week. Lovely to see precious everyday. Can't get enough of you! Thank you for always being patient and sweet.. =)

Life seems to be a lot slower now after the completion of the listed company's audit. Doing another couple more companies, but I guess with God's strength and precious' support during the tough times, things are not so difficult to handle. Time to get off sitting on things for too long and start working fast again. Another deadline to finish a Japanese company in 14days. Wonder how we can do it, but we still have to finish it. Talk about time management, learn it from the auditors. Ask poor Lance.

Scooting off to visit lala-land in preparation for a long and physically draining at the yards for some stocktake. Time to tan my face. Sure beats being in Sentosa. Yuck, I'd rather have the sun, sand and sea anytime!

I can be sucha loser at times. Can't imagine that I was filling up some important application online and the silly website had to display errors when I was about to finish the application! Alamak!!!! Goodness, is this a sign not to apply? Pls don't say that it's a sign. Let me go and have life. Stupid website... Now I've gotta fill everything up again

Finally got my ass out and just jog a little. More like a space out session to just walk around and think of stuff. Look at what's happening around me or in my life and just ponder. As usual, my favourite activity. But I guess that's what keeps my mind active. Keep thinking...

Maybe that's also why my dear Salty friend keeps going to the gym nowadays. Might just be her way of sorting out the things in her life. All thanks to some immature and childish other half. Very scary how people just change so quickly. Even things that seemed so cool and blissful for the past couple of years can just crumble like that. Are there really things that people can tolerate? What if there are somethings people close an eye to at the moment, just suddenly blow up before you know anything? Scary. Even the respect you have for a person can be so easily erased overnight. Will it happen to anyone of us? Definitely. Maybe he should go for runs on his own to. Sort things out personally.

With Man and everything around us, the constant is change. But with God, He IS the Constant. Guess Joyce might just be right about this.

Anyway enough of cooling down after the long walk. Time to bathe and meet up with Qinlei. Owe her the long awaited ride in the van.

Till then, keep those grey matter thinking all the time

Wish that I could be whisked into an airplane now and just hide in some other country and backpack again. It's almost a year ago when we started our planning for the last trip to Europe. Can still remember each and everyday there. Heavenly..

So now it's just work hard again, save up again and target for another trip soon. Hopefully it can materialise. Hmm, where should the next place be. Greece? Spain? Scandinavian countries? Cambodia? Vietnam? Kathmandu? I'm game for all of them. Go and see the world before being tied down with more things on hand.

Had some time on hand during the day to wonder (as usual. my favourite activity when i'm free) about what to look forward to for the next couple of months. Hahah I live my days by the wkends and public holidays. Muahaha... Evil.

Yup, so the next trip will be to Malaysia! Cool! Thank God for the approval of my leave to join church camp. It's been almost 4 years since I last participated in the church camp. The last one was when I was back in JC1. Still remember how playful I was. Just play and chat the whole day with the entire gang who was there. And scramble back to my room to study for my first JC exams that were immediately after camp. Hahhaa... Nerdy me. But thank God I could get promoted back in JC.

Heh heh, looking forward to this church camp. Seems like the most adventurous one ever cuz the organizing team are the funky young families group! Whee!!!

Alritey, so it's time to look forward to that and start counting down. Think of the next holiday after June then..

Thank God today for such a wonderful day! Can't imagine that I actually knocked off at 630pm. Gosh, it's such a wonderful treat to a friday nite! Heh heh... Felt fantastic to just drive home from client's place and join the family for dinner at home. Amazing.. It's been a long time since I could go home before the sun sets, and to think that I've got some personal lazing around time at home. Haha.. Wonderful! Thanks to God!

But somehow, I just feel quite guilty leaving the client's place while the team is still there. Asked them whether I could help them, but somehow they didn't have anything to pass to me. So there I was stuck with my own work since the accountant wasn't around to provide me with essential documents. Continue and finish it on Monday then!

I'm so pleased with how the weekend's turning out. And there's the bday celebration, not forgetting time-out with my dear. Heh heh, you've finally got a mention on the blog! Cheers! Haha, other things are personal. Shhhhh....

What are we to do with our lives? What’s our very purpose of our being on this earth? Are we to live our lives trying to be the most outstanding and most noted person? To be more successful than our peers? To earn a quick buck so that we can enjoy an early retirement in the future?

How does all of these then look like when we read that as Christians, the very purpose of man is to please God? Yes, we all know that we can still please God in our workplace (or even some call it marketplace ministry), but how can we strike a balance between what is required of us at work and our service in God’s church?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s too naïve to say that I’m fine with living a simple life, not having to earn much or live a high-flyer type of life. But seriously, isn’t all these just quite so temporary? There are hoards of stories of successful people who were reduced to rags overnight. Their stories sound pathetic, but some are actually much happier when they possess less. Are the rich and famous necessarily happier than the poor farmer? Are not the powerful also targets of backstabbing and man’s evil manipulation? Are they not wary of people who get to friendly with them, who might harbour ulterior motives?

Simplicity can be nice at times. Just live my little life and be contented with whatever God blesses me with, don’t covet for more than I deserve.

:::::

Rare opportunity to think and blog during workhours. Hahah in fact, it’s my first. Really rare cuz senior’s not around and I’ve completed practically everything that I can do. Haha, so back to reading bible commentaries on revelation until my senior comes. Hee hee, thank God for the long break!

Monday blues are quite bad when you know you've gotta rush some job in 4days; from a 5day job which is already very rushed, to a 4day one so that my boss can come down to the client's place and review our work. Goodness...

Worked OT just today itself and I'm still at home trying to finish this up. Wonder if I can even finish it cuz I doubt my client's speed of work and efficiency. Hai.. Okay, press on and complain less.

Miss my dear already. Only 1day and it feels like so long. Can't imagine that I'm saying this online, but dunno who else to say to at this time of the night.

Alritey, kick myself in the butt and back to looking at the fixed assets.

Mantra for the night: I must love my job..

Night out with the Chans

The lovely Chan kids from Mauritius. Gosh, it's scary to see them from babies becoming running machines. Haha, they practically did their 100metre sprints in the restaurant. Amazing..

Taking this photo was such a joy. The 2 older ones (Ryan, 6; Christina, 5) used their 'da ge da jie' power to gather their younger siblings (Brian, 3; Jordan, 2) to pose for my camera. Haha so cute. Obviously my favourites are the 2 older ones. Very smart and mature. Always easy going and smiley. The cheekiest has to be Brian. Can't stand it when he tries to give you the puppy look when you scare him. Makes you melt. Argh.. He gets his way.

So I became the bean bag for them to run to me so that I can catch em. Wah, 4 of them combined can be quite a powerhouse. I was pushed and crammed into the corner. Scary when they come charging at you, but it's quite fun. It beats having to catch the boys who became monkeys jumping off the beds last yr.

It's always nice seeing the whole family get together yearly. From being the ones who were kids the last time my bro and myself went to Mauritius, to playing with their grandkids. Eee, sounds so old. But Chris made quite a gd point yesterday, it's nice to hear kids laughing and playing. Very warm and lovely.

And here's my all time favourite. The red indian chief of the kids, the little darling who teaches me bits of French everytime I see him, haha my personal translater and crowd controller when we're playing with his cousins. Little Ryan Chan! Getting older and more mature, so no more jumping off the beds. He quietly sits by the chair besides his dad, trying to finish his food so that he can feast on ice cream. Hahah..

It's great having one-on-one car rides with my dad. Most of the time it's so called 'boring' talk about life principles, but I love it when he does that occassionally. Over the years, I guess I've come to realise that I'm getting more and more like my dad in terms of some stuff or mentality that we share. Of course there are those differences, but I guess it's how I've been shaped by all these 'principled' talks. Thank God for dad's talks man, cuz its these values that make a person how he/she is. Much as I think we share the same views on certain things, dad's much stronger than me. I'm just a weakling. Haha.. But yeah, if he wasn't as strong, we would probably have crumbled when things were going tough a couple of years ago. Thank God for dad and more morning car rides! =)

Time to kick my ass and start the day on the right note. Haha, terrorize my clients and get my work done..

Seeing how old the last entry was kinda explains the state of my leisure web-surfing habits. Think I really need to eat back all my words abt worklife being better than schooling days. Man, it's really fighting battles everyday. Mentally draining. So I just knock out when I come home. Not to mention that I seldom sit around the tv and chat w my bros or parents. Miss that terribly.. But they're coming home! Tt's great! Meanwhile, I'm psychoing myself to love my job. Hard but better try, if not it's quite hard to endure it. Hats off to all those seniors and above who have suffered and are still hanging on (haha although we all know tt they're thinking of quitting too)

Came across this site of a man trying to accomplish something quite lovely - taking photos of one child from all the 192 countries in the world. Each child lives in NY and is either an immigrant or first generation child. Amazing ain't it?

Simply love the photos of kids taken at their most natural moments.

As much as I enjoyed it, i'll leave the link here for you guys to enjoy. Those kids really makes you melt. Lovely........

http://www.nychildren.org

It's scary how time flies when you're at work and when life's changed quite a fair bit. So much has happened. Not that it's bad, but wah I wouldn't have expected myself to be doing the things I'm doing now.

Every week passes in a flash and it's wkends and Monday blues over and over again. No time to blog, and I kinda don't even feel like blogging.

Yeah so until I feel like blogging, this is gonna be a dead man's site.. Haha!

How our human brain functions is truly amazing. How we rationalize every single thing when sometimes you just go with your gut. So I even wonder whether we should think so much about everything. Wouldn't it be easier if you just don't try to justify everything, or work out every possibility? Oh well, talk about a complicated brain.

I wish I'm a child.

Many many thanks to Queenlay for your lovely postcard! Love it man! *muacks*

Boy, I didn't realise that you mailed it until my dad asked me how come there was a postcard for me from San Francisco. Haha! I was almost delirious after reading it. Man, I also wanna go there with you! Shld have packed myself into your suitcase at the airport instead of going Penang.

Qinlei: saw your photos of the places that you've been. Lovely! I wanna eat at Fisherman's Wharf too!!!! Thanks for the wonderful surprise! Wanna see your photos when you're back!

Attended some communications class yesterday as part of our training for work. Apparently, some experts say how a message is communicated across is based on this magic formula:
Chosen words - 7%
Tone of voice - 38%
Body language - 55%

Much as I know that I don't really fear speaking in front of crowds, it's also my pitfall; in that I am not very careful in choosing my words. Things that I say on the go as I speak tend not to be chosen carefully, and sometimes I wonder if I ever offend anyone with that. But I guess not yet, since I haven't heard any complaints apart from Joyce.

Think this is qutie a bad testimony being a Christian cuz I blurt words quickly. Not that I always swear, but I think words can be more carefully chosen. So this is just one of the issues that people gripe with in moulding their lives to be more godly, and mine's dealing with speech.

Application for the week: reign in and talk less

Penang was quite a bore apart from the makan sessions with the rest there. Nothing to see or do in Penang but eat. And it's quite disgusting to know how much I ate there.

Oh well, it was nice knowing a couple more people from that trip, although it would have been more of a blast if Selene was there to accompany me and Danielle. Silly lass who cheated us into applying for last batch. Thank goodness there were still the rest like Donny, Gillian, Joanne, Yun Rui and Tu Zhi who made the boring training sessions a tad more interesting.

And it's quite amazing how they can entertain themselves with the camera. Taking shots after shots. Haven't laid my hands on the photos but hahah it'll be darn fun to look at all of the photos. Truly amazing how they can keep on posing for the camera. Donny & Gillian, you guys are the best!

So it'll be back to training at Ocean Building for the next couple of weeks I guess. Oh oh, and thank God for the good news man! Just heard from my supervisor just minutes ago that my manager somehow managed to 'transfer' me back to his team! Goody! Not the best client profile, but nicer people to work with. Yipee!

Some people are just blind or they just do weird things..

For the first time in my life (apart from the time in Europe), I was quite scared of jaywalking at my place. Some weird taxi driver was going forwards and backwards repeatedly at the junction. I still thought it could be how some vehicles reverse a little upon stopping, but boy this cab was really reversing. And then he'll move foward to the white line again. Scary..

Enough to be horned at for jaywalking and almost getting hit the last time. As much as I don't really pay attention to traffic lights, what if his knee jerks and hits me?! Hahah morbid thoughts but yeah me and my vivid imagination.

Bon Voyage Steph!

Can't imagine that things can be so coincidental such that I'm due to be at airport today till 6pm and Steph's flight is at 8.40pm today too. Hahaa so I'll be perfectly on time to meet her and send her off!

Lucky lass is going Sweden's Lund University for exchange for a whole semester. Gosh, I hope she posts photos and keeps everyone updated of her exciting stories of Sweden.

It'll just be another couple of weeks before I'm sending Xiao off again for her Hong Kong exchange. Sob.. Then again, why is everyone going for exchange? I want too! Erm a bit overdue, but yeah. Secret desire since uni days. Now I can only self-sponsor travel trips. Hai.

Looking forward to send her off! Hopefully Xiao goes to accompany me. Heh heh..

Just attended the first session of FOP on Sat night. It's been a while since both me and pkg went to Indoor for any Christian band thing. The last we heard Don Moen was when we were back in lower sec, helping to usher people together with the rest of the youth group. Goodness, how time flies.

Back to this year's FOP. Actually it's just my first FOP. Didn't make it to last year's cuz I didn't want to queue for hours just to watch Delirious perform. Guess I'm just not used to the too-charismatic way of worship. Since I met lovely Eunice, so she managed to squeeze in another 2 seats for me and pkg amongst the rows they got for their cell group. Yeah so it's was kinda strange for me to be sitting amongst a group of ultra charismatic people, attending a worship event.

Those speaking in tongues (not that I've something against it, but just that I'm very wary of whether so many people can have the same gift and worship in the same church at the same time. Isn't it that God provides a church with a variety of gifts so that the diversity can help the church?) and the jumping etc. Well, I used to be the jumping sort back in secondary school, and I still believe that it's alright to do anything you want to worship Him. It should be any form that is a reflection of a person's personal manner of worshiping. But it's just that I'm not that spontaneous anymore. By the time they came to altar call, pkg and myself just sat throughout, even as everyone around were standing.

The focus of FOP was a bit unusual to me. It's both worship and a segment on a series of messages for the entire 3-day event. And the message was kind of very pro-youth; talking about how misunderstood youths are by the older people in the church, and that we should not keep thinking of how we are weak but that we are worthy in God's eyes etc. Nothing wrong with that lah, but I couldn't catch a chunk of what the Argentinian paster was talking about. Overall the message seemed a bit too skewed towards supporting the young people, and challenged the adults to understand youths. Oh well, not for me to judge the sermon topic.

So I think I can only listen to contemporary Christian music on cd, but not in a live environment cause it becomes too commercialised and concert-like for me. I can only listen to them on the cd in my own little personal space. Live band is good, but not a real worship session for me.

Wonder how I'll take this coming Saturday's Planetshakers event at Max Pavillion. We'll see. God must work His way in me then.

PISSED PISSED PISSED!!!!!!

Oh my gawd, I took 2 hours plus to pick and choose those photos to develop from the trip. And my stupid computer has to say that I wasn't supposed to open other programs while its burning the disc. Argh... It took so long to sift through which ones I wanted to develop! Alamak, and I wanted to bring it for developing at granny's place later on. Crap. Gggrrrr.... Stupid program didn't even save a copy of the hundreds of photos that I picked. Shit! Have to do it again and I'm rushing to go out. Damn it.

Random thought #87:

If you had the choice of a mutant power or character out of X-Men, what would your choice be?

With full assurance of my destiny
O Lord, nothing gives me more joy than
To honour You, the Risen One

The Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit
Shall stretch over all mountain and waters
Over every heart and soul
Come reign and transform all mankind
To praise and glorify You

Praising and declaring our desires
Our thanksgiving could go on and on
Even time on earth ain't enough for me
Lord, let me praise You for all eternity in heaven

I will lift my hands to the King
To love You with all I have
I belong to You

Jesus, miraculous deeds You do
That no man can comprehend
We turned against You, yet You love and exhibit much more grace
Wash us clean; as clean as pure lambs
Thank You Lord for Your everbounding grace

Now take all that I have
My sould, mind and might
Direct me Lord to ways that please You
You and You alone are the object of my worship
My Lord and King - the Great Redeemer!

Worshipping You gives me joy
To dwell in Your house of love forever

This should be amazing. Check out how Kit Chan can look so dreadful with this supposed Empress Dowager outfit. That apart, this musical should be a must-see. Argh. Preview show tickets are sold out.

Yeah man! Finally met up with the girls to share our photos. Landed my hands on the cd that Steph burned for us. Another round of screening photos and laughing at how crazy we were to take so many pictures. Yipee! I can finally develop them and start pasting it in the album. Cool!

Sometimes life is so unfair

I was working at the River Boat thing with 2 other guys at Esplanade yesterday and I just thought that it's so hard for people of a harder family background to jump out of their pit and achieve something for themselves. The boys were from ITE - one recent school dropout another in NS. And here they are trying to earn money to feed themselves and get some pocket money, but all they can do is simple jobs like this that don't pay much. Hardly learn any skills that can be applied to another job, but a job nonetheless just to get them by. They're nice kids, loud and rough, but harmless and fun loving anyhow. Much as they try to find jobs that earn them more, being able to hit $1,000 a month is wonderful for them. And there I was sitting there wondering how is this even enough.

One of them was funny enough to say that after he ORDs and works as a technician, will I ask my company to employ him as a technician. And it struck me how simple they can be, to be content with a job and not strive for something more.

What made the day even more strange was how I met my friends later on that day. Our conversation topics are so different from what I had with the boys. With the boys, I felt so bad for being a graduate sitting there and having to be cautious of what I say because I don't wanna make them feel lousy about themselves. We speak about gambling, smoking and those ah-beng stuff like illegal car racing. And with my friends, we're talking about travelling, shopping and finer things of life while eating at cafes and stuff. There I was feeling quite happy and excited that I watched my first and only play in London, to only realise that they've watched a million plays in Singapore and abroad. This 180deg change of conversation topics kinda made me feel quite strange. How life is so unfair for the ITE kids.

Much as some don't have good attitude and don't wanna do better in life, but just to pass each day as it comes, there are also others who are just stuck. Even if they wanna try something more, they can only do as such. It takes so much more effort for them to move and get out of their quit-school-and-what-can-i-do cycle, to so call equalise with others; while other more fortunate people are already moving on so much faster.

Anyway I hate the job now cuz it's so darn boring. There's nothing to do in the morning except to talk to the boys and breathe their second hand smoke. And there's another job paying slightly better or the trail job thing as I'm waiting for Lance to get back to me. Hmm wonder if it's not nice to tell Xionghai that I'm not working at the River Boat thing.

Had a pleasant surprise today when I spotted Terrence on the same bus as me on the way home from church. Haha so strange that in one day, you'll actually meet 2 old friends - Gabe & Terrence. Ops, and there's Caleb. Haha Gabe, your brothers now look like twins. So different from the kiddy photos in my childhood photo album.

Why would anyone wanna travel all the way from Toh Yi drive to Jurong for a haircut? Dunno what Terrence was thinking of. But quite a nice way to catch up. A bit miserable to catch up on the bus though. Haha and our dear friend is still attending his gf's catholic church. Wonder if he's a catholic now.

It's so random, but I'm excited that Xiao is coming to church on Saturday! Erm a bit strange to invite her for a talk on a Christian's response to evil and suffering, but just ask first. God will decide how to speak to her. Maybe it'll spur something in her after we've visited a thousand and one churches, cathedrals, basilicas etc. Keeping my fingers crossed and praying hard. Maybe Ted will come too. Haha goody, two at a go. Even better. =)

For the first time in my 20 odd years in Singapore, I took the River Boat ride for the first time yesterday evening. How interesting! Felt like I was a tourist in my own country. Looking at the skyline of Singapore from the boat is quite different. Haha neither have I viewed UOB plaza from the river. Cool. The nice thing was that I took the ride for free! Haha cheapo-nana.

It's actually part of some job training. Thanks to Mister Xionghai, he convinced the people at Clarke Quay River Boat to take on another pair of hands to sell the ride tickets. So hopefully, this will occupy me for a month before official work starts. Not earning much, but at least to feed the ever-expensive transport costs now that it's adult fare. Yucks.

This ride also came at quite an interesting time after looking at how river or canal rides are done in Europe. We saw quite a few, but only took one at Cambridge. It's called punting, and all the rides are done by Cambridge students. The boat companies hire them to run the rides and introduce Cambridge to tourists. Very different from Singapore's rides cuz the commentaries are done in person and you get to strike conversations with the punter; unlike Singapore's super-unfriendly tape recordings.

There were also rides at Versailles (France) and Venice, but we didn't take them. Versailles was a silly reason to create opportunities for Xiao's Ted to give her a ride. Stupid him didn't get the idea of a romantic ride. What the heck. And Venice was just too expensive. Oh man, but the boats are so classic! So poor us, just took pictures and sat by the canal looking at people in the boats.

Yup, so Clark Quay might just be the new hangout for me if they call me back.

YOU ARE GOD ALONE - Phillips, Craig & Dean

You are not a God
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that's just the way it is

You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You're the only God
Whose power none can contend
You're the only God
Whose name and praise will never end
You're the only God
Who's worthy of everything we can give
You are God
And that's just the way it is

Unchangeable
Unshakable
Unstoppable
That's what You are

:::

Xiao asked me why do priests and nuns give up their whole lives to make the vow of chasity and serve God, I guess this is what they might be singing in reply.

EUROPE WAS FABULOUS!

Touched down this evening in one piece, so thank God for His protection for all of us on the trip. Can't even imagine that I've been away from home for a month. It seemed just a while ago that we left Changi.

But all said, it's still nice to enjoy your little comforts of life like my bed and a clean toilet. You won't want to know how we bathed in some yucky shared toilet in Rome, and how I slept beside a darn urinal in Tours, France. Sick.

Ooo, we got to catch some real soccer fever while in Europe. Starting from the 2-matches a day routine in Derby, England with the Riisnaes to the climatic finals with the Italians in Rome. Good! I'm slowly getting the hang of what all the soccer craze is about. Still learning more about the rules of soccer like off-site and penalties etc. Trying to learn more names of the various players. Lemme try rattling some names to trigger my memory: Meterazzi (irritating Italian player who got head-butted by Zidane), Cannavora (cute Italian captain frm Jevuntus, what the heck I can't spell), C. Ronaldo (tricky one frm Portugal), Jens Lehman (brilliant goalie frm Germany) blah blah blah...

Europe is really so amazingly rich in terms of culture and architecture. Every city and town is unique in terms of the people and sights. And it's so hard to compare and decide which are the favourites. England is cool for the traditional English stuff and countryside, with amazingly lovely weather apart from the dullness of London. France itself has many different sides with the different regions. Germany's old town Dresden is very much untouched by the war. Prague is a reflection of Eastern Europe. Italy offers amazingly lovely landscapes.

The whole backpack experience has been wonderful and enriching. To explore new places beyond our little island, to expose ourselves to the many different cultures, and just to throw ourselves to the larger unknown. No regrets for making the trip to Europe. Everyone ought to save up for their own pilgrimage to anywhere in the world for their little backpack.

Lotsa great moments travelling with the girls. Can't wait to look at the tons of pictures again. Quite inspired to save up for a future trip to Spain/Greece/Scandinavia. But that will be a long way more to go. Must get back to normal life and ready myself for official work.

Last call... Last call to board...

Sheesh, we're leaving tonight. Can't imagine this is it man. 3 girls going on our own trip to the big wide Europe. Going with lots of different emotions - excitement, anxiousness, joy, fear, longing... Pure estacy. Kind of like my first taste of independence. Travelling alone w/o the family or guides. Being responsible for our own well-being in the unknown. So this is kind of it. I'm praying real hard that nothing goes wrong and all will be smooth and all so nice.

But people who know me will know what a worry-wart and a paranoid I can be. Thought that I was the one who worried the most during the whole planning stage, so kinda psychoed myself to not think so much and just go and whack it. Until we met up with the ruggers on Friday. Goodness, more scary stories of trouble and danger in Europe. Grr.. Made me even more paranoid. But I'm absolutely glad that I went for the session in church on Saturday. Reminded that we shall not fear for the Lord goes before us and is with us. So do not fear for everything is under His hands. Shall carry this with me throughout. As my dear Ah Lian said, "keep prayin each step of the way".

Thanks to everyone who will be praying for the bunch of us. If you wanna know who's going together - Wensi, Stephanie, myself and Xinyi (who's studying in UK now). I'm sure God will answer all our prayers.

Keep you guys posted of what's going on if possible. Ciao!

Our dear princess with a balloon band around her.

Finally learnt how to post photos. So not tech-savvy.. Just dug some old photos to test out. Random ones I guess.

This is it man! We're all set to go (cept for all the packing lah - haven't started) but yeah, everyone's psyched up to go and all. And I've finally got the camera...

Thanks to everyone who loaned me your precious things: Qinlei for her wonderful backpack, Amy for her money pouch, Chock & Yee Lin for your memory cards!

Thanks also to Shiwei for taking the girls for BS for the month. The girls are thrilled to have you back as the BS leader too!

As we edge closer to departure day, it's more and more busy. Changing of more currencies, packing of bags, finalizing the presentation.. Thank goodness Steph is collecting all our important train documents. Can't trust me to do this. I may lose all the passes.

So it's countdown to meeting the ruggers on Friday for our annual dinner first!

Thanks soo much for everyone's prayers! I'm feeling a whole lot better after the awful fever, chills, runny nose and flu over the wkend. Still struggling with a bit of sore throat and stuffed nose. But hey, it's so much better than the wreck I was over the wkend. Even sent my bro for his Chinese Os this morning (explains why I'm up so early).

Received some travel insurance certificate this morning and boy oh boy did I realise what a muddlehead I am. I put the dates of the insurance coverage totally wrong. The correct dates should be across a month, but I put in the wrong month. So the policy only covers 2 days for 3 of us clueless travellers. Humph, and I still wondered why NTUC Travel Policies are so cheap. I'm praying real hard that they'll amend the policy for me and then I'll just pay the difference rather than going through the online application again. This is also what I dislike about online payments cuz blur people like me tend to make a whole lot of mistakes with online forms.

But all's said and I cross my fingers that they'll be nice people who'll change em for me. Should be meeting the girls later on to purchase some more train tickets and get the gifts for Dave and family. Heard they're nice folks who'll house us even though they're all geared up for World Cup fever.

Even though I don't follow soccer all that much, but I do hope we'll catch some of the kinda massive craze they have in Europe! Who should I support? Hmm we'll see. But anyhow it's gonna be darn crowded everywhere in Europe with this season going on right smack during our 1 month stay. So it's both a gain and could be a real pain in the ass.

THIS MAN - Jeremy Camp
In only moment truth
Was seen revealed this mystery
The crown that showed no dignity he wore

And the king was placed for all the world
To show disgrace but only beauty flowed from his face

Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands

He held the weight of impurity the father
Would not see
The reasons had finally come to be to
Show the depth of his grace flowed with
Every sin he erased he knew that this was
Why he came

Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands
Would you take the place of this man
Would you take the nails from his hands

And we just don't know the blood and
Water flowed and in it all he showed just
How much he cared
And the veil was torn so we could have
This open door and all these things have
Finally been complete

Oh American Idol, American Idol. It starts to lose it's appeal with each season. Less and less grand finale/results show. It's only some fireworks at the end. Maybe it's just boring cuz it isn't Christ Daughtry who won. Taylor Hicks isn't all that bad, but boy he needs some dancing class. How can he start grovvying down for EVERY song? Strange footwork too.

With each season, popularity of the singer dies too. The only one left standing tall and strong is Kelly Clarkson then. Oh well, even if Catherine McPhee didn't win, with her smile n looks, it'll snare her some print ads easily. Then there's the Mustang convertible too. Oooo..!

Wonder what will come of Singapore Idol. Good? Bad? Average? Hmm.. Hopefully it's a good watch with some solid personality. No more Chinese Kungfu Rapper, Singapore Cowboy, Careless Whisper, Do-Re-Mi and what-have-you-nots.. Bbbbbrrr, shivers down everyone's spines.

I'm sucha TV junkie

No idea what I'm doing with the hols. Had this whole list of things that I mentally formed during exam period which needed to be done. Such as arranging the Chiang Rai photos (gosh it's been a yr since we went there) pack my closet (it's a mess) and my room (still a mess after exams).

Never seem to get my butt out to do any of those. (I've even got a gutt feeling that somewhere in my house is some super old photos back in 2000 that I took from Elliot. Yikes, haven't even distributed them as I was supposed to) Even the supposed morning runs have only be materialised into 1 miserable walk. And I didn't even make it to Ming Bao or Amy/Joe's place. Just around my tiny neighbourhood. Gross.

Enough's said about life here in Singapore. Can't wait for next mth to come actually. All the uncertainty before us. Never did anything really spontaneous in my life. Maybe it'll come when we're there. But what the heck. We'll just go there and whack it out. Then there's Penang again in August. Boring lah, but I hope it'll be mad fun with the rest who are going.

Meantime, I'm just counting down to meeting the ruggers again! Can't wait to hear from Jac about her stories in Canada/US and haha obviously grill her about some new guy Darius. Looks like we'll get prata treat soon too! Too bad Mighty Mouse Jieren won't be going, or it'll be double-prata!

Had my first taste of teaching in a primary school last week. Goodness gracious, it was a whole new experience. Nothing really fantastic as I thought it would be. Kids can be so monstrous when they're in school.

How guai kids we were back in kiddo days where we'll just shut up or mumble in whispers when the teacher walks in. But fast forward a couple of years and OMG! They actually scream at the top of their voices like everyone's deaf! And I stepped into some class with two boys getting into a small fight. I asked them to stop and they just continued. And THAT WAS IT. Just barely 10mins into class, and I slammed the table and shouted at them. Argh! Didn't even care that I kinda shocked some of the smaller girls, who probably were thinking what on earth is this new relief teacher who's not even much bigger than them doing. But yeah, my patience is limited when it comes to serious stuff.

Playing with kids is really fun and exciting. But not when they're irritating you and when they're in school for serious stuff. Esp when it's inside a class. Outside class, my eyes are closed. Do whatever you want. Ack..

Anyhow I'm probably going to be back in that sch for a couple of more occassions (according to the admin auntie who told my mom - a pri sch teacher) I pity my mom for having to talk to them at the top of her voice just to get their attention.

Maybe I'll be more prepared the next round and play interesting games with them. More sudoku with the P6s? Table soccer or handball for PE? OHP version of board games? Dunno. We'll see.

Thank goodness the week ended with a nice little baby called Issac Tan. Hahah he's such a dear. So mild. The only baby who I know has a cry that actually sounds like music. I thought babies wailed. He kinda whimpers. Haha so soft. But he's a darn cute baby. A happy and smiley baby to be exact. I'll carry him again next week. Nice conclusion for anyone's week. Joe & Amy are blessed with such a wonderful babe. Thank God for that man.

Can't imagine that I've just taken my first paper today. Think God is totally awesome and gracious. Just yesterday I was having mild fever, body aches, runny nose and a bad throat. Must be all the coffee that I've been taking to stay awake while studying with the rest. Or maybe it was because I feasted the whole of the Easter egg that I got over Good Friday. Oh well, whatever the case is. It's amazing how I only had blocked ears and a dry throat during the paper itself. Amazing eh! And you think that fevers usually manifest itself even more so after a day. Kinda strange but it was totally ok during the paper. A little tired now and sensing the onset of the fever again, but I'm sure that with everyone's prayers (thanks to dear Rou and my BS group) it should be manageable.

Eagerly awaiting the last paper on the 10th. Final taste of freedom from school! Although we've kinda planned out what we're gonna do for that day (with Rou and Queenlay), it's kinda not the typical things people do after exams. We'll see how it goes. It'll be fun.

A whole lot of things to do after the exams, especially planning for the trip and making arragments with the school about Dresden. It'll be great fun even though it's a rush for everyone. But yeah! First to Europe, then to Bangkok with the company!

I so love to travel..

Think my blog has sorta died over the past weeks. Anyhow I haven't got a good reason to resusitate it. But since I'm so bored after reading boring notes, might as well blabber around.

We're just the few idiots left in school waiting for the last paper to end (and we'll be officially graduates! no more undergrads..) A friend asked if I'll miss NTU, and without much thinking, I just said NO. Sounds so cynical and disassociated from school but yeah. I don't miss school. I don't worry about not keeping in contact with my small circle of friends, but that's just about it. NTU has totally no fond memories except the friends around me. Kind of like some transactional thing that you have with the school. Come and study -- that's it.

People might think this is so sad, that I've wasted 3yrs in Uni. But hey, it's ok for me man. I look forward to more things outside of NTU during these 3yrs. Just move along after graduation with my friends. Even boring NJ had more fond memories - the rugby team and our infamous coach Big Fat Rong.

Yeah! FYP, the absolute pain in the ass is absolutely over! Thank God for nice groupies like Wen (aka our stylo mylo girl) and Chock (aka the ever funny and chatty girl) who made FYP less excruciating. Can't imagine how we get from having lunch to gossips to talking abt philosophical stuff when we're staying back in sch for FYP. It was fun. And we've practically tried all Hall canteen around Business school. What a cheap thrill for staying in school late. But yeah, it was a blast working with you guys, even tho our tutor was full of crap. Thank God for you guys to keep me cool when I'm so pissed with our dear prof.

Looking forward to our celebration with the rest!

Just took the bus back from school and saw something tt's quite interesting. It was a crowded bus and so everyone was packed like sardines. So obviously when the bus uncle stops ahead of the bus stop, he's signalling that he's not gonna open the door cuz there's too many people. But some chinaman just had to knock on the bus door so hard to ask the uncle to open it.

The small showdown started when the bus uncle (and I was just standing beside him) turned and placed his hands on his hips saying "there's an empty bus behind, why don't you take that bus?" and the chinama just had to talk in such an act-intellectual manner saying "ke shi wo men deng le er shi fen zhong" and the bus uncle just stared at him. Like hello? Does it matter how long you've waited? Eh there's an empty bus behind. It's just behind this bus, can't you take that bus instead? No diff which bus you take since you've already waited for 20mins rite?

Strange people act in strange manner. Enough storytelling for the day. I'm looking foward to end of uni life..

Really can't stand it. My heart just kinda stopped when the irritatin British Airways webpage didn't let me book the cheap tickets. Oh my goodness... The offer is not even available online anymore. What the heck.. We've been trying to get it done all day yesterday and today. All the transfer of funds and stuff. And they tell me that there's no such promo anymore!

What's best is that there's a new promo that's even cheaper. But the catch is... must book with Mastercard. All of us travelling has NO Mastercard! Alamak! And the system is down all day, and BA Singapore office isn't open today.

Maybe it's just plain suay that we have to pay for exhorbitant tickets. People, you can start donating to my Europe backpacking fund. If not I can slowly walk back to Singapore.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, not sits in the seat of the scornful;

But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.

He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.

The ungodly are not so, but are like the chaff which the wind drives away.

Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgement, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

For the Lord konws the way of the righteous, but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

Psalm 1

Was so fricking pissed off with my incompetent FYP tutor yesterday. How on earth can she, being a PHD (permanently head damage), actually tell us things that are wrong? To think that she's supposed to be an expert in statistics. She actually smoked us by telling us things that aren't theoretically sound. Goodness gracious me.

And here we are, slogging our guts out to finish running those statistical things and she's having her one-wk break. Refuse to work or meet us in her office. What the hell. And she's supposed to guide us in our project.

The worst thing is that she can have 2 project grps doing exactly the SAME thing, running almost the same statistical test, and yet she doesn't tell us those instructions she told the other grp. Come one lor, we will also need to know the statistica treatment for the same variables. We end up discovering our own errors, all without the so-called expert help. Somehow it's plain evident that she's more helpful to the other grp. She can be so sweet n nice to them, answering all their queries; and yet be so grouchy when we ask questions politely.

Grr, all we hope now is that the moderator marker will see how critical we are in making sure our work is statistically sound, instead of blindly following some PHD's instructions. Like what chock said, wonder how are we supposed to acknowledge her help in writing the appreciation portion of the report. @#!*

Overheard some ppl complaining how the master budget assignment is so hard while sitting in FAL waiting for Wen to finish printing her notes. Strange that everytime I hear this, it makes me wonder what have I been doing for the past couple of yrs.

Evil me secretly laughs at them for having to do those dumb assignments, and suffer during recess week. Maybe they're having the last laugh cuz they needn't do their FYP eventually. And here we are slogging away and hammering SPSS. Who on earth wants to do anything with SPSS?!

:::

Weird also how ppl can dream of other ppl they met back in JC. People whom they're not close to, and are just plain "smile and hi" acquaintances. It's even weirder to have to see them in sch and remember that the night before, you just had a dream about JC life.

How do dreams come about? Interesting thing to note and know. But for now, I think I'm quite happy having a nice sleep and dreaming about quirky things everyday.

Had an interesting Sunday being an extra for Ah Bao's filming. As usual, I can only do extras work. Hahah I can't act for goodness sake.

Things work out so much more smoothly after you win some accolade and get industry players' attention on your work. More advanced equipment, experienced actors (finally! haha no longer the usual grp of friends who stand in to act) It's really so different when experienced actors come to do their job. Give them 15mins to take their first look at the script and there you go! Class act of being a fierce mother who caught her daughter with a Japanese man.

I was kinda impressed by the Japanese guy's chinese. Haha although he really fumbled and had quite a lot of bloopers, he pronunciation of some chinese words are quite amazing for a jap. Oh if u're thinking he's some Takeshi or Takuya material, forget it. He' looks more like Nicholas Tse (according to the actress who acted as the mother) but I really cant see how they look alike. He's so pretty that I think his profile can pass of as a girl. Haha...

Now, the lead actress is really so darn cute! Ahem, I'm not being a pervert to say it. But it's the truth. Totally can't imagine that she's a 22-yr old when she's absolutely so cute looking and petite. Haha she looked so funny in the oversized school uniform. We all totally agreed that she can really pass off as a Sec1 kiddo in uniform. Can't imagine why she has sucha ah beng boyfriend (who accompanied her to the set) in reality. Sheesh, what's wrong with the girl?

Anyway they're gonna continue filiming until all is wraped up on Sunday. Hope all goes well and I can follow n watch them film again!

The whole europe trip has its ups and downs. Sometimes we're on the brink of just not planning and going for Contiki, others we're trying to squeeze out the best time for the travel dates. My dear heart cannot take it so much. I'm dddyyyyiiinnnnggg to head down to europe. Anytime I'll just pack my stuff and go off now. Sch's a total dread and bore now.

A big waste that not all the ruggers are going for the trip. Sheesh, it would've been a total blast if the whole team went. Absolute madness and fun! Oh well, I'm still estatic to be going with Wensi. Too bad Ted isn't going for the trip. Hmm if not Dave might have joined us together when we meet Yam at Nottingham. Nah, it's still a blast to travel with Yam. Hopefully the timing's good for her as well. So that she can bring us around England.

Still can't imagine that the long wait since yr1 is actually materializing soon! Choi if there's any other things that come by our way to stop us from going. I've even started asking Jian Hong to lend me his backpack.

My only source of joy and anticipation during this dry period of piles of work in uni. Aike!

CNY was the usual drill. Visit the regular extended family and distant relatives, have the usual huo guo at a family friend's place etc. But guess this yr was kinda different.

Sat there listening to those old ladies talk abt their life stories. Kinda cool, but that's it. I can only listen. Can't utter a single word of dialect. Hahha.. I'm not ashamed of myself. My grandparents understand chinese, so that's good. Heh heh..

Did some silly stuff with my younger cousins on first day while at a grand aunt's place. Can't imagine how I actually tried to help my teenager cousin take some photo of one of the girls at the place; just cuz he had a bet with another friend that the girl looked like his male classmate. Gosh I even asked him whether it was a compliment/insult to both the guy and girl. But hey, my first fooray into voueyerism (argh, whatever. I don't know how to spell it) Haha stupid trick trying to msg with his mobile held high up. Duh.. I actually told him just to ask the girl to take a picture with him. Haha but as usual, my cousin must act cool (to match his dark and bad boy looks) and not resort to blatant photo taking.

Wonder whether he won the bet with the lousy photo I took. Hmm.. Time to ask him and get my treat if he did win.

Somehow we all look quite different from our younger days. Just had a good laugh with my cousins and bros at how we looked just 5 or less years ago. Gosh, we all looked so plum and nerdy. Haha thankfully everyone has grown out of that dumb dumb stage. In fact, I think my cousins are gonna be the ladies men in time to come. Haha I'll start teasing them abt it. Anyway I'm sure they're gonna get it during CNY from all the aunties. "Wah you've grown up so much. Leng zai oh.. yah da yah da..." Hahah I'm sure they'll just smile and grin. Hahah, finally they've grown up and I'm not always talking the kiddy talk with them anymore.

Have a look at your kiddy photos and have a good laugh over the wk.

Much as I love Desperate Housewives, the new commercial totally irks me. What on earth are they doing with those apples? It looks like some high-class porn ad, that is just a more sophisticated version of the new OSIM iGallop ad. Hai, what happened to interesting and family-friendly commercials? Juicy has became juuuu-sayyyyy. My goodness.

Too much cereal and heaty stuff has made me sick. Argh.. Sore throat, mild fever and the ever runny nose. I look like a wreck now. Feel like sleeping all day. But what the heck, I still have to do the PA report and write up on my part for FYP's lit review. Sometimes I wish I can just lie in bed all day and not talk to anyone.

It's been terribly rainy for the past couple of days. Makes me wanna snooze and snuggle under my trusty blanket all day. Rotting inside and staring at my ceiling. But yet I also wanna start on my cny shopping. Bet my mom is gonna start nagging at me for doing last minute shopping again. It happens every year. Drats. End up with impulse buys that I don't wear for the rest of the year. Guilty... Haha!

Anyway I'm really looking forward to travelling with the ruggrats this year. It'll be quite a year of travelling. Wanted to join the youths for another mission trip in Thailand. But at the rate I'm going with the higher budget for Europe, I guess I'll just have to give it a miss. Sob.. I kinda miss the rural parts of Thailand. Simple people with nice smile. Not as humid and sticky as bkk as well. Nice smelling air with more interesting food!

Back to Europe. Can't imagine the long wait is coming so soon! But honestly, I'm quite clueless at all the planning. My first time trying to plan something, from getting tickets and accomodation, to the itenerary. Gosh. So much things to do. I'm sure it's gonna be tons and tons of fun!

Xiao wants to go London to absorb the World Cup fever (we're going right smack during that footy fever) Kinda exciting but quite apprehensive about those notorious football holigans in London. Yikes, I better support England during my stay, altho I dn mind Real Madrid (with the ever interesting Raul Gonzales) Hmm, Europe's coming close! Stand by!!

Amazingly, all of us have survived yet another year. Time really passes all so quickly. We're yet into another year, another phase of our lives. Hmm wonder what's to come for 2006. All I can say is that I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO EUROPE!

Everything's not set, not even where we wanna go. I'm all for Spain but we may not go cuz Yam has already went there. So maybe Greece? Not sure, but who cares. I just wanna go for a backpack! Haha.. Many more backpacks to come during the lull period as an auditor!

Gonna meet my favourite ladies at Holland V later on! Great! It's always fantastic to chill out with em. Too bad Jac and Yam aren't back to join us. Next holiday girls!

Had a nice catch up with the guys and their new found friends at KAP yesterday. Elliot's leaving for Auckland on Monday so it was like a mini gathering cum farewell for him. Sheesh, it's been like more than a decade that we all knew each other. As usual, we took our annual photo. Kinda funny how all 3 of us happened to wear red. Argh and I had to stand in the middle of 2 giants. The photo looked so weird, but haha interesting! A valley in the midst of KAP. Must get my hands on em from Elliot's cam.

Talking abt red. Guess I've always got tt little rebellious streak in me. Went to highlight my hair today. Wanted orange or blonde, but somehow I ended up choosing red. Sheesh, the first round of highlights was so subtle tt there was no visible difference. So the lady did it again for me, and gosh all hell broke lose. I've become an ah lian in less than 1/2 hr. All bright red, as tho I dyed my whole head instead of a mere highlight. Thank goodness the lady said tt after a couple of washes (probably in a wk's time) it won't be so red. Hahha..

So here it is, i've become a red-head. Sheesh...

Merry Christmas to everyone! Much as it is a season for parties and fun, pls dn drink and drive. Hai, because of you guys who drink n drive, I've been deprived by my dad of driving today. Argh. Can't even drive to church to meet the rest for their bbq. He asked me to take public transport if I dn want him to send me to and fro. Ack! Why would I want my dad to pick me up when I don't even know when I'll leave?

So drivers out there, pls not drink and drive, don't get into accidents. I may get a chance to drive soon.

And what on earth is the whole Narnia craze about? Is it really so nice? Can't imagine 2 different groups of ppl asking me to watch Narnia with em just over this Christmas holiday. First it's the YAMers who are watching it tonite, then the YZers on the 27th. Nah, not my cuppa tea. Another time my friends.

Dinner's at my place tonite. Wonder how I'll die of boredom tonite. Hopefully not. Maybe I can play mahjong with my neighbours tonite.

Uncle Richard's coming over tonite as well. Good to have him over for the gathering, rather than have him recuperate at St. Luke's all alone. More the merrier for gatherings! Wonder how he's coping with the recovery. Pray that God will restore good health unto him soonest. Push on, uncle!

Some new client at a new place. Not as bad cuz it's near civilisation. But the irritating client really sucks. He practically tries to avoid answering my question and glares at me for trying to bring him back on topic. Grr... All I ever do is complain behind their backs, but I can't do that right in front of the Financial Controller's deadpan face. Someday I do wish they fold up so that they're no longer the clients. Haha, evil me.

New client also meant new colleages to work with. Guess sometimes I just like to be cozy with my little bunch of ppl I know. No more new friends or acquaintances. Hard to edge me outta my comfort zone. Thank goodness I do OT with ppl I'm closer with. If not I'll just scream and pull my hair. We'll see what happens for the next few weeks.

Do hope that I get some overseas secondment or job. Get outta our tiny little island to see the world, get into how others live their lives yada yada....

Last nite's christmas bash with the company at Gotham Penthouse was all so boring. To think that I'm a non-chiongster saying it's boring. You shld've seen Yung Yung's face thruout. It was totally blank, a completely bored face. Guess the only little excitement we had was with the whole bunch of VTs taking our tequilla pop.

Haha, my first drinks apart from wine n punch was at tt boring place. Guess it was kinda stupid. Supposed to finish the whole tequilla pop at one go, but I stopped cuz I was resisting a long loud burp. How loser can I get. Oh well, what the heck. Hahah, it was interesting nonetheless.

Now I really understand what Song Wei means when no one goes for the bash. So boring.. The only time ppl screamed was all the VTs when Li won some lucky draw. Some kind of atmosphere.

Totally embarassed myself at work today. Shit man, I wanted to hide myself during that point. Don't ask me what I did. Wanted to dig a hole and stick my head in. Thankfully it's last day at client's place. Sheesh... Terrible start to my terrible day.

Guess it's Christmastime and time for a change in blog. Here goes a blog to my dog that was given away.. Rai.. Miss ya!

I was in town today and watched some street performers strut their stuff. Really cool. Not the breakdancers, but the guy who was beatboxing. Usually it's just the standard beatboxing (altho no one can really beat that which was in 8Mile) but this fella could actually sing and beatbox SIMULTANEOUSLY! Totally awesome. Too bad, the typical Singaporean didn't really give him applause. Guess he was not really driven by any adrenaline from the audience. Just a little part of the songs and he stopped. Ah... I wld have stood there to cheer if not for the silent audience.

Totally wonder who people can beatbox. It's a whole art on its own. How on earth can you make those noises from one mouth? It sounded as tho there were many ppl doing it together. Musical wonders from a mouth. Thank God for artistic people who can do such things.

The short bangkok trip over the wkend was great. Refreshing break from the usual monotony in SG. Not exactly refreshing in the literal sense cuz it's just too dusty n humid in bkk. But nice. I always like to see Thai ppl, even tho I got kinda ripped off by the hawkers at Chatchuchak. Ended up not buying lotsa, except for shirts for PA. Gee.. No bargains found.

This week's a hell lot of decision making for me. Not sure where I wanna go after graduation. Not sure whether I shld move with my previous instincts and rock the boat, or suffer on the dark side and enjoy the company. Yeah my parents think I'm kinda stupid to think that the team will remain, and that I'm sorta 'conned' by what ppl tell me. But then again, maybe I shld just go along and sign on the dotted line. Not sure.

Even as I prepare to make my decision, my mind's in a total mess. Every moment I keep questioning myself whether it's really the right choice. Should I submit my application tmr or wait till next wk? Shld I forego the prestige of being in PWC and join EY? Such a big gamble. Guess I'll just have to take whatever consequences that comes my way. Oh God, please let it be a right choice. One that I won't regret or look back again. If it's gonna be a shitty year, then gimme strength and patience to endure things.

Toss up: rock the boat and enjoy the reputation / remain status quo and be deprived of a life
As what I hear everyday from my colleague, "sign on the dotted line..."
Question is which company??

Almost lost my wallet today in the Jurong Pt library. Somehow I just left my wallet at the loan desk after checking out some magazines, and I walked off without realizing it was still on the desk. Was still telling myself that I might just leave my wallet there and lose it.

Wierd how things can just happen exactly how you predict it to be. I must have been a zombie walking around and not aware of my surroundings. Esp after a long day with En Shyang & Fion's wedding.

But really thank God for kind souls who brought my wallet back to the librarians for safekeeping after they found it on the desk. The librarians were also nice enough to call my home to try finding me (although I wasn't home). They also made an announcement in the library, but I left immediately after loaning the magazines.

Be nice if you see anything. Return them to the help desk. What you pick up might just be owned by yours truly.

There were a zillion kids giving out flyers and doing surveys along the streets today. Thanks to holiday jobs and irritating employers who are pouncing on cheap labour. Signing hordes of kids up to be surveyors and flyer distributors.

Irritates me a little to have flyers shoved into my face; people coming up saying "miss, are you singaporean?" Erm quite duh rite. Anyway, much as I understand how it's very pathetic not to have people take those flyers from you, it still kinda irks me that they're trying to give me something that I totally don't want. Guess people are also less kind when you're young and able bodied. Anytime some auntie at Somerset passes you the flyer, chances are that you'll take it from her.

Thank goodness our attachment doesn't require us to give our flyers, although it's also no guarantee that it'll be a fabulous job. We'll just pray and see what happens on day1 this coming monday.

It's really scary how things can turn out. Never in my life have I really blanked out during an exam. The last count was back in Crescent. Really freaky how it's so easy to crash and burn during a short 2.5hours that kind of determines your next sem's timetable.

Also a reminder for me to stick real close to God. Guess He really can't stand how I've been trying to run things my own way, relying on my own ways and not His. A wakeup call for me to look at my life. Better not play a fool with God, He can just pull you back from lalaland. Much as He's a God of grace, He can be really frightening when we incur His wrath.

L I T T L E S U P E R H E R O G I R L (written by Corrinne May)

I feel like a little girl

Trying to conquer the whole wide world

Everybody wants a piece of me

And I just don't know where to turn

I've got work piled up to my head

All I want to do is jump into bed

And wash away my troubles with lemonade

Play hide and seek with the boy next door

Take a trip to Singapore and

Imagine how I'll make the world a better place

All I need is a good disguise

One where nobody can recognise

That I'm feeling so small

All I need is a secret weapon

I've gotta have faith

Zapping monsters into outer space

I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-naNa-na-na-na-na-na-naNa-na-na-na-na-na-Yeah

If I were a little girl

Trying to clean up the whole wide world

I'd kick the bad boys back to school

Teach them fighting's just not cool

I'd give every kid a teddy bear

Turn starving people into millionaires

Break glass ceilings with dynamite sprinkle a little sugar and spice

Turn the bullies that terrorize

Into pink poodles that bark, but don't bite

All I need is a good disguise

One where nobody can recognise

That I'm feeling so small

All I need is a secret weapon

I've gotta have faith

Zapping monsters into outer space

I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-naNa-na-na-na-na-na-naNa-na-na-na-na-na-Yeah

Little Superhero Girl Little Superhero Girl

Save me

Little Superhero Girl Little Superhero Girl

Save me from myself

I feel like a little girl Trying to conquer the whole wide world

:::

ain't it just so cute. cheers to all the rocking girls!

Bt Batok Pres Youth Fellowship joined us at Youth Zone today. Kinda cool to see all youths to congregate and gather to worship in one spirit. Really. Something new that we've explored. Kudos to the ppl who organized it. Although it makes me feel kind of older than all of them, it was good to see all their faces brighten up during worship. A blast. Maybe too much of a blast that some older folks in church might not take it. Haha...

Reminds me of how powerful it is when God's people come to worship together, regardless of where we come from. Just like how it was at the youth congregation at Chiang Rai. God's presence was really felt over at Chiang Rai. Guess that was why I teared even though I didn't understand a single thing they were saying. The power of God's spirit moving among the people!

:::

What makes this day especially interesting is how I managed to park with a car beside me! Haha, quite a venture for me considering how a terrible 'parker' I am. Best of all, I could do it in one move and get the whole vehicle within the lot! Hahaha... interesting. But it isn't perfect lah. Not exactly in the middle of the lot, but I'm so darn pleased. A step forward for this lousy driver. I'll try again tmr - last day before Dad returns and uses the vehicle.

Hahhaa, presentations are finally over. That's a whole load off my back. Think we all looked so smart today. Wonder when I'll get the photo. Anyway it seems that everytime there's a presentation, there'll definitely be some photo taking session. Haha same went for the girls, with chock wen and li, also with chunli and gang. Worst one was Yr1 Mktg project. Literally spent like an hr before presentation fooling around with the camera. Hahaha...

everyone shld just listen to john mayer and herbie hancook's stiched up! totally awesome. 100 marks for chill out factor!

anyway i think i really saw ah lian's buddy ilynn in school today. chock saw too. she says can't be her. but how can it be? it really is her?! oh well, nothing shocking why we see ppl in sch. ntu's a public area anyway. wonder how is ah lian....

Oh man, that was just the final episode of the Jap show Pride. There goes my weekly dose of Jap craze and drooling over Takuya Kimura. Guess that is one of the few people whom I really think possess real charisma. Too bad, tt's all in Japan. None here that's of equivalent kinda charisma. Hahha..!

It's also not just the cute factor that makes this show so intriguing. There's always the game itself that really draws people. Reminds me of what kind of adrenaline rush I always had during touch games. It was what really drove me to push all limits. The kind of team spirit was wonderful. How we were (and still are) so close. Brings back those memories where I would be on a high during training and competition. Picturing in my mind all those game plans and strategy. Listening to rock and psyching myself up for any competition. Don't ever think those people who scream and shout during a match are just headless chickens making much noise, it really brings out a different person on the field. It really works.

Although I really don't play any more sports, no more touch or tennis, I still yearn for that kind of rush - where you really play your guts out as a team, pushing each other on and enjoying each other's victories and misses. The feel of breaking through the defense, the feel of passing off for your mate to finish off beautifully, the feel of making a touchdown. I really miss that part of my life back in JC days. It'll never be replicated with any other team, other than the girls whom sweat it all out with me during those punishing nites doing PT. Every scene of the games we played keeps replaying in my mind. How we smiled with faces full of pespiration, the determined look when we had to endure all the mad cap running like guys.

Sometimes, I wished that I didn't stop playing touch. Miss game, miss the spirit of touch. Doubt that I would ever get that in NTU, cause I really just miss playing with the rugrats. It's a whole different ball game playing and getting used to other's playing styles.

Maybe I'll indulge myself in more movies like the Titans or more Takuya Kimura. Sink myself into delusion. What the heck am I talking abt.. Aftermath of watching and gluing myself to Halu 9. Too bad my favourite jersey number isn't 9.

Hooray! I got the confirmation from Ernst & Young yesterday! Sheesh, I was so paranoid that I thought the partner who confirmed the selection with me during interview was patronizing me. How comforting it is to hear the confirmation again from their HR. Kind of looking forward to attachment after a very dry period of uni work. It's totally stale and brain-numbing.

Checked Studentlink and realized that Ritz Carlton had released their shortlisted candidates. A little disppointed that I didn't get a call from them cuz I was also secretly hoping that I would be given a chance, even tho a thousand and one applied. Maybe I shld've just applied for Toyota.. Haha might just get a discount to buy a car. Yah rite, like I can even afford it if they give me half price.

All this craze about planning your career has been kinda scary. Was just talking to QL in the car yesterday. Guess I'm not the only one who doesn't know what I want in future. Hmm, ok maybe I know what I want. Just that it's impractical to choose to backpack and travel the world as my life ambition. My parents will just kill me for using up all their money and not support the family. Haha..

Is planning really gonna be fruitful? Think it only reassures people of their future; telling them that they did make an effort to do something about it. But hey, doesn't it really take divine intervention in reality? We can plan all we want, but there's ain't any guarantee. I'll just take one step at a time. Do what is laid before me well and let the results be in His hands. Safer option too. Just get a job and be done with it. Dn bother going all out to climb some flimsy corporate ladder. Too many spikes along the ladder. It's sad to bleed to death that way.

Parable of the Talents - message for YZ yesterday.

Guess it's really speaking to me since the girls mentioned that I really outta use my abilities to serve in different aspects. Well, one of the lessons what that if we don't use our talents, God can just take them away.

Anyway the girls are so amazing. They're such a lovely bunch of girls. Wanted to make noise at them for not doing their bs etc. Guess only Rach knew that I wanted to make noise. But after their mini-advice session for me, my nagging has sorta disappeared. Very encouraged by each and everyone of them because I've been learning and seeing things happening in their lives; how they've grown closer as a group. Yeah, Hebrews 10:34-35 really works!

See my beauties on Sat for bs again! :)

It just so strange how some team dynamics just don't work out. After so many good project teams, I really feel so strange in one that still hasn't got over the norming stage. Can't imagine we're still wondering and figuring out how to do stuff after so many meet ups. Grr... I'd rather have a team that has gotten past trying to figure out each other's work habits. Sign of impatience now.

so thrilled that i managed to tap on someone's wireless network just in my room! not exactly that fast, but it's considerable. at least i manage to come online. no more fussing with my bros over the computer. and i get to do things in my own room. thank God for wireless network subscribers who don't lock their networks with passwords. hahah... it pays to share (excuse the pun here. it ain't intentional)

my new haircut's so nerdy. sheesh. like some geek. but then again, it's just kinda like my jc cut. all cropped and fuss free - albeit it's less funky now cuz i don't think i can manage trying to spruce it up everyday. oh well, i'll just pretend that i'm some freshie in sch. hahhaa...

::

applying for PA is exciting yet tedious. all those admin stuff to take care of and writing to be done. grr.. and my whole resume looks pathetic. i even had to copy other ppl's cover letter for my own. poor thing. kind of excitied as well cuz this time it's really working in some bigger co (provided i get either of my choice) rather than some industrial area again. was kind of tempted to go for makino which is nearer. but ok lah, i'll just cross my fingers and pray that God gives me either choice

a new blog skin that is totally geometric and interesting. in a stage of evolution and change. can't stick to same old stuff. darn boring.

oh well, i'm also getting sick of blogging. no patience to sit down n tell the whole world what's happening to me. besides, it's much nicer to tell my lovely friends than having them read it off some public thing.

what the heck, i'm rambling again. anyway sch is boring except for 311 tutorials. hahha.. oh well, just being really childish and silly over it. but yah, much more interesting horizons than usual boring souls in other classes. just for viewing pleasure.

Haven't been posting much on the blog. Oh well, I'm just not so dedicated to sitting down and jotting down my whole life out. Maybe I'll change my blogskin for the new sem. For the record, this sem is so boring. Think it just gets worse. Ahhh...... Quick, lemme go to Europe now!

Finally got my thailand photos, but I wonder if I'm going to even post them up. It takes so much effort. I'll just print em in hardcopy and share it around when someday I do look at Rou & Qinlei's exchange photos.

Drats, I need a bath. Didn't run and I just slept the whole afternoon. I'm such a sleuth. Gross.

Retreat was good. Never thought it would work out. All the quite moments spent reading Scriptures and praying. Haha, well I'm always a pessimist and a person of little faith. So once again, God has demonstrated that I better not underestimate Him, and that I ought to have more faith. Yeah, it was great that everyone had a time to get away from the buzz of everday life to reflect and listen to God. Yah, no words can sorta describe what we did or learnt, but it was spiritually upliting.

:::::

Went for 2 funerals in 2wks. Kinda scary how what Rou said is true, when you are in your twenties, it's more likely that we attend more funerals. Just this morning, got another msg from Kien Seng that Yi En & Yi Ling's grandma passed away in Hong Kong. Thank goodness Aunty Grace is already there to meet her mom with Yi Jing. Wonder whether Pastor Cheng Huat will bring the kids over for the funeral. And to think that I just heard him conduct Yee Lin's grandma's funeral yesterday.

Just as I was sitting there looking at the coffin, it just made me wonder how foolish some people are during their lives. It's pointless really using your whole life just to pursue things that you can't bring with you at the end. Death is what equalizes all men-rich and poor, all are alike upon death. You just lie there. And you really take comfort and joy that even though you're relegated to lying motionless here on earth, there's another new journey in heaven.

This whole spate of NKF news is really stirring lotsa emotions among S'poreans. Well I guess, it's sth we all expected and knew deep in our hearts, but it just never came into light officially. Kinda sad how people can start out with a sole goal of wanting to help people, purely humanitarian and altruistic, but being swayed by other agendas along the way.

Kind of disgusting also how the money has been squandered to provide for someone's excessive comfort while others are struggling with the little savings they have just to stay alive.

How could NKF have gotten by without being transparent for so many yrs? Political power behind their backs? Oh well, we never know unless we're part of the board.

Guess now they really really need to restore tt reputation. A terribly difficult position for the new executive and board. God bless them in their pursuit man.

Anyway those vandalizers are really stupid. Why use such lowly way of getting back at the org? Not only doesn't prove your point, it also gets them (or tt person) into trouble. Hahah, but funny thing is they can actually converse in 3 languages. I was pretty tickled by tt.

Whatever comes of this whole saga, I think no one shld stray from the main goal of helping people. Not just through NKF, but also remember the many more VWOs around. Be happy that we are still healthy and kicking. Who knows, someday we might just be those needing help.

Beauty often comes at a price. Pointy shoes are a killer. I just bought a pair last week when I went shopping with Vien. Hahah being very gung ho, I thought I must get a nice pair of pointed shoes for presentations etc.. Not exactly very pointed like an elf type, but ok lah. Quite nice and not very ex cuz I just got it at Far East (again..)

So I wore it today for work at the Asian Civilisation Museum. Hahha don't be so fast as to think I was a curator or sth. It was some Intel Conference held there. Oh boy, I stood and stood for like hours! My toes are aching, my whole feet's arched till I almost died. Basically, my feet's covered with blisters and in a contorted shape now.

See, this is the outcome of being vain and insisting on wearing that even when Vien and my mom said it would hurt. Hahha, I'm just like that. Stubborn. So I'm paying for the price of vanity now. Not just physical pain, but also a little of my pocket cuz I took a cab home from CBD area after work. Hahah with the jacket that I bought for work, I wonder if I still made enough to cover all the expenses. Then again, there's probably another fair next week. We'll see if they call me again.

Eagerly waiting for my pay now...

Finally got to visit Amy yesterday. Too bad we didn't get to see baby Issac cuz he was in ICU. Doctors were concerned cuz he didn't cry much at birth and didn't respond much to feeding. Thank God he started feeding much better yesterday. Poor Amy, she's kinda torn not being able to always visit Issac cuz he's in ICU. Hopefully he's able to come out today. But this is one cute l'ill baby! He's got such big eyes (can't imagine he opened his eyes just when he was a day old. Thought babies take quite a long time b4 they open their eyes to see the wonderful world.) and he's got a dimple on one side! Hhahaha, one hunk in the making.

So there's another baby boy in church. Can't imagine that all 3 couples tt got married are all having boys. What happened to Dav's silly calculation to guess that his was a girl?! Hahhaa oh well, goes to show how reliable these things are.

Gonna be visiting Amy again. Probably at her place. Hmm where am I gonna find those sarong to carry babies? Maybe I'll ask the rest whether they wanna share the present for her.